or make me see without directly telling no matter how much I play along

I told you straight up many times

dont posture, talk less about yourself

because you've got to understand - I am floating in a sea of chaotic retardation and ugliness without any real guidance and all the guidance that holds itself out to me inevitably reveals itself as incompetent, so what rational choice do I have but to make my own way?

be humble

dont do what you are currently doing

dont use your intellect to blind you

dont argue

there is little to do, there is mostly only dont do

don't you understand that I have tried humility and it always fails me? it always leaves me in a worse situation

I understand that you are a disordered personality

and so your responses should not be trusted

you should suffer terrible situations

I already have, and every time humility has been the cause

success as a shell vs. tribulation as a real boy

that's a good way to put it

I would always take the latter

its not even a choice

what if all of my antipathy is genuine and unfeigned?

a shell cannot have success

it doesn't matter, I never said it wasn't genuine

the fakeness is your whole self

the fake self generates genuine antipathy

well, it does and it doesn't

my antipathy ironically stems from self improvement

ugh

you're becoming a vampire

no seriously, hear me out

sure

but I can already see the future, the near future

say what you have said a million times

I'll hear you out

"the more I improve myself, the more normal retards hate me/I hate them"

what variation will we see today

neither

the better I get, the further the gap is, the more revolting they become

maybe partly the latter

THATS EXACTLY THE SAME

I used to like people a lot, then the gap got too wide

this is delusional thinking

its fake