He was "constipated", so he crammed blue pills like he was playing Left 4 Dead

Just eat more fiber, fool

That's dumber than when I took too many allergy medications

<:nyquil:587149834306453509> <:nyquil:587149834306453509> <:nyquil:587149834306453509>

what

<a:MONKERSHAKE:466689565868949524>

Almost as dumb as that guy who bragged to me about ODing on vitamin gummies and "talking to his subconscious"

Well well well, John. I see that you see were just the pot calling the kettle nigger.

If the skin fits, bitch

No, you can actually seriously damage yourself with too many laxatives.

I took 2 doses, 18 hours apart

John you can damage yourself from too much liquor

Too many benydryls short of a whole bottle just knocks you out

Because I hadn't had a proper bowel movement in a week

jesus

Matt, try to eat fiber and water.

Matt take care of yourself <:boomer:480046032546168863>

What do you even eat?

John stop drinking to death 🍷 <:pepeturt:499291994649133067>

I haven't had a sip in a week, and when I diu It was just the one

My sip consumption has dropped to almost 0

Okay but that doesn't really explain the constipation

He has consumption <:pepewot:589100642820161551>

@johnfrum no, it doesn't. It was rather worrying.

Maybe it happened BECAUSE I cold-turkey quit sipping.

Caffeine is a diruetic, iirc

<:radthonk:318079469376110597> So I should drink coffee forever, then. Got it.

Oh man, the migraines I got 3 days into No-sipquest

Imagine becoming anything bit slightly sleepy when cutting off caffine

I get a little ache when going cold turkey; I think it means I'm not doing so bad <:blobthinkingeyes:427568214579609601>

I don't drink caffeine often enough to get any symptoms when I'm not drinking it

Well, I was drinking 2-4 <:boomer:480046032546168863> every day

That ultra concentrated sip tho, 140mg caffeine in a 150ml bottle

I was not a casual caffeine user

Yeah, thats a fucking lot

Is it?

That's about how much caffine I drink in coffee

No im talking about matt

But I'm better now! I only drink maybe 1 every week and a half, and it's never because I crave it

2-3 daily, plus all other shit in monster like taurine and such

shit bot

Fucking faggot bot, useless

!answer length of dee

@dee

RIP

!answer average height of american

GET REKT MANLETS

Is it just spouting random answers now?

lmao

!answer average weight of an american

I think it's giving the height of the average american landmass's height above sea level?

nice

lmao

https://www.caffeineinformer.com/caffeine-withdrawal-symptoms-top-ten

God I hate the bit

When is porco coming back and deleting it.

Wow, maybe my constipation WAS caffeine related

!answer average weight of american

huh it did asnwer about humans this time

!answer average height of american male

There we go.

<:GWfroggerHyperXD:399972553524903938>

I should get more 190 proof alcohol.

Yeah, I was consuming about 1.5 times the "safe" amount of caffeine, daily, for almost 6 months

Almost out and I need to do a final clean of the kitchen hoods before it gets too cold

You have a hood system in your house? Lucky.

Who doesn't have a kitchen hood?

Me.

Is installing one major work?

What?

How do you cookand not have an inch of coagulatrd grease on your cealinceilings

He opens windows

I...don't cook greasy/oily food?

You dont use oil?

No, not really.

wtf

butter?

Not really

and you got fat from steamed veggies

Anyway, it's not too much work, you need to do basic maintaince tho

>not using olive oil

Store-bought doughnuts 😂

extra virgin olive oil

No, not at all @Millwood

cold pressed

Clean it reguarly, change filters, keep birds out and scrub the hose and vent.

I work in a hospital cafeteria, I get free food there, every day

I almost barely eat at home

You "cook" in a microwave?

oh ok

Birds in your vent suck a lot, like 3 bucks of mesh keeps them out

@johnfrum You haven't been listening to my actual question. I was asking if INSTALLING one was a lot of work. As in, having to cut holes in my fucking house, reroute wiring, etc

Then you don't really need a hood system

It's not

But I'm looking now and I can get an unvented model that just filters and recirculates the air instead of exhausting it outside

Basic wiring and you need to know how to cut clean holes.

ofc @Matthew is afraid of a little work

it might burn off his fat deposits

Eh, sounds like meme

@androidcrawler Sorry, Mongrel, we can't all have to chase emaciated wild boar down for our daily meal

I can afford to buy it instead

It's worth exhausting it outside tbh.

say that to my face faggot

I'll have to kneel down, first

I'm in full gym mode

leggings?

I got that tapered v shape

God matt is still at it like an unneuteredd cat.

It's a good thing you weren't taller than the wagon wheel, or Ghengis would've killed you

I'm going to look like a greek statue eventually

I'm 5feet 9 inches tho

its not that short

manlet

Yeeesh, I really will have to kneel.

/headpat

how tall are you then

dont lie

6' even

That's right, pigboy, cope

>pig boy

I'm slim and muscular

unlike you

6' chad, 5' 10" manlet

sausage fingers

Why'd you give him an extra inch?

That's my height :)

Poor little guy.

:(

@androidcrawler You say "Slim and muscular", I say "Dehydrated and emaciated".

What can you hit on the leg-sled, little guy?

I don''t have a leg sled

whats a leg sled

I use free weights only

I can hit back a six-pack, easy 😎

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzTFG8BteKw

Don't tell me you skip Leg Day...

I do squats instead

<:pepeturt:499291994649133067> I need to exercise more

do it

go to gym and kill it

I could do 400+ on the Leg Sled, easily. ran out of weights before I hit my limit

It is the one and only benefit of being fat

I did 500 in High School, when I was *only* 220 lbs

jesus christ

how fat are you

I'm 275 right now, but I usually hover around 285

body fat percentage?

100%

well enjoy being fat then

I think my scale actually measures it.

I got to go for now

Gotta go shop for platform shoes?

no

lmao that was a good one

Just FYI, usually when women imagine the "standing on tippy-toes to kiss", they're the ones doing the tippy-toes.

Bodyfat percentage is 33%, according to my $20 scale.

Some girls like short stacks

Have you seen Mongolian women? They can only see 20% of a person at a time, so they can't actually tell how tall someone is

of pancakes

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/94/Mongolwomen.jpg

"how tall someone is...of pancakes" <:googlethink1:328536264292827139>

EVEN THEY'RE WEARING PLATFORM SHOES

short stacks of pancakes ya dip

<:implying:589103384699863050> implying you don't want your gf to wear high heels and step on your balls while nine and a half months pregnant

Billy I get it but it's better wrong

>nine and a half months of pregnancy

uuuuh....

I KNOW MATT I MEAN EXTRA PREG HEAVY

for that hot cbt action

I shouldn't have to explain this shit, we're all millennials here

contrarians

tfw no burger g shock

You're a confirmed idiot, I really thought you might not know how babby is formed.

how girl get pragnet

Two people hold hands REALLY hard

How babby is preparred

you must do way instain mother

who kill their babbys, because they cannot frighth back

Do the needful 😂

it was on the news this mroin, a woman in ar who killed her two kids

they are taking the baby back to new york to lady to rest

i am truly sorry for your lots

<:FeelsBadMan:589103983558393857>

Matt how drunk are you, 1/10 or 10/10?

iren, how new are you 1/10 or 10/10?

Yeah, I come back and he has already given himself to the drink

He was here before you

0/10, I haven't had a drink in a long-ass time

<:thenk:329322130804047872>

thats a *classic* copypasta, you boob

Wrong, Billy has been an eternal lurker

its true

ive been here since forever

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39lHPHs8bV8

i just haven't spoken til recently

Man watching rossman' s live stream of his prospective new storefront is painful with how aggressively Semitic that realtor is

i was in beverly hills today

and i saw a guy with a *huge* yarmulke

@Billy Yum Yum Two-By-Two That's where I want to be

living in Beverly hills

gimme gimme

do yarmulkes get bigger the more powerful a jew is?

becasue for real it was like twice the size of the rest of the ones i saw that day

Probably just a fashion statement

i dunno, other than that he was just a fat businessman

no real style to him

Probably just fashion. Or being really, really proud of being jewish, Like the equalvalent of those people who feel the need to open-carry an AR-15 around the supermarket

probably

oh

also i saw a guy driving a brand new porsche

he was driving it really slowly

and i looked in his window as he passed

and it was an old man

like one of those guys that are so old they vibrate

Elderly Vibrations....

for real

it straight up looked like if he accidentally pressed the gas too fast the acceleration would kill him

and he had a look on his face like he didnt know where he was

it was actually kinda frightening

his head lightly presses into the headrest, and dissolves into dust

i wouldn't have been surprised if that happened

I come across a TON of old fuckers in those goddamned powerchairs

Did you put on a wig and try to convince him you're one of his ex wives out for alimony?

I've had one obliterate the front of my vending machines because he accidentally went forward when he meant to go back, and was so freaked out that he went FULL THROTTLE FORWARD

i should have, it probably would have worked

fucking old people

theyre a menace

to society

society, that thing we live in

joker.gif

I like old people who are old because they deserve it and not because they have been getting solid D's in self preservation and things are safe enough now it kind of works out

yeah

me too, john

like my great grandpa, who had his arm torn off in a combine accident and then lived to be 90

Why did he stick his arm in a combine harvester

i dont know

it wasnt running when he stuck it in there

Probably jammed something and it suddenly started up again.

Older engines sometimes do that.

but it was cut off just below the elbow, so he was still able to carry buckets around on the farm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BxD66YRpVw

Should've watched this