#i-have-kids (Discord ID: 459564946296930324) in MacGuyver - Skills & Academics, page 1

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2018-06-22 21:53:22 UTC

I’ve been asking for this for almost a year!

2018-06-22 21:53:28 UTC

Glad to have it

2018-06-23 00:50:42 UTC

Guess I’ll start it off. I have three kids a daughter that’s 11 and two sons whom are 9 and 3. There is nothing like being a dad. There is nothing harder than being a dad and trying to keep your kids away from the pozz while allowing them to have a normal life.

2018-06-23 02:10:21 UTC

My first kid is due in October, can I be honorary parent?

2018-06-23 02:19:27 UTC

You belong in here forsure. One of our ky members has a son due in oct

2018-06-23 02:30:53 UTC

Exciting. If I’m not mistaken there’s a few more IE buns in the oven as well

2018-06-23 13:18:07 UTC

What do you guys think of spanking as discipline? (I'm not a father yet, just curious)

2018-06-23 13:30:56 UTC

Oof, I’m very conflicted on that one. On one hand I remember getting spanked as a kid and there are few times I remember being that scared and upset as a youngin. I also never want to be that mad at my kid that I’d hit them.

2018-06-23 13:33:14 UTC

So I hope having a stern presence and using a booming tone will be sufficient when it comes to that.

2018-06-23 13:33:34 UTC


2018-06-23 13:34:45 UTC

Yeah, I remember being on the receiving end a few times. Ideally I'd never have to use it? but I think it might have a time and place

2018-06-23 13:34:51 UTC

but incredibly rare

2018-06-23 13:35:00 UTC

I wouldn't say never though

2018-06-23 13:35:08 UTC

Cause it does teach a lesson

2018-06-23 13:35:48 UTC

Exactly, like that punishment stuck with me. But id want to save it as a last resort

2018-06-23 13:39:38 UTC

I think alot of compliance can be achieved with how the mother acts

2018-06-23 13:41:01 UTC

if she's playing along with the "You better listen to your father" thing

2018-06-23 13:41:53 UTC

Discipline ought to be a team effort, one parent only isn't enough of shaming and directioning

2018-06-23 13:42:06 UTC

Agreed. My mom and dad had times where they didn’t work together and that’s something I want to stress with my wife when the time comes

2018-06-23 14:07:47 UTC

Discipline should never involve anger.

2018-06-23 14:08:01 UTC

Anger by its nature is undisciplined.

2018-06-23 15:11:14 UTC

Spanking has its place. I use it more as a tool when the kids are younger. And if you use that tool and others right as they get older spanking isn’t necessary

2018-06-23 15:12:42 UTC

I use things like push ups all the way to writing essays. Many different circumstances call for different things.

2018-06-23 20:03:28 UTC

I was never spanked, I was born in the 80s to very conservative parents; however mom was a nurse in the maternity ward at a hospital and was convinced that spanking was bad for child development.
Molyneux calls it “the bomb in the brain” because studies show spanking has irreversible effects on brain development, lowering IQ, increasing violence, and more.

2018-06-23 20:04:35 UTC

I'd be interested to see the frequency in which it was used in those studies

2018-06-23 20:05:24 UTC

because if it was alot, it's nearing the territory if similar effects with literal abuse

2018-06-23 20:15:34 UTC

I was rarely spanked as a child,and only a fee times when smaller. Groundings worked better. I aslo used some spanking on my daughter when she was really little,but not as much the older she got,i used grounding and taking things away,like her computer or music and she knew she really messed up if it got to that. With the stepkids it was used a lil too,but more so the standing in the corner. But that also didn't last long,our involvement in raising them as their mother took and raised them far up north not long after we had the youngest. So I can honestly say more so from raising my own daughter then.

2018-06-27 03:45:47 UTC

Hello all, my wife and I are expecting our first child in October. Does anyone have any suggested reading materials for expectant/1st time fathers?

2018-06-27 11:38:28 UTC

Congratulations brother! I’m in the exact same boat as you. I’ve read a few, and the majority of them all do this same dumb thing; “hur dur hormonal wives and dirty diapers! Now you can’t watch football all day.” One book that I found that doesn’t do that and actually gives good advice is “idiots guide: pregnancy for dads”

2018-06-27 14:10:43 UTC

Indeed, congrats mein freund!

2018-06-27 20:46:52 UTC

Thank you both! and thanks for the suggestion @Grossly Incandescent

2018-06-27 20:48:34 UTC

@martin Congratulations!

2018-06-27 20:49:38 UTC

@martin do you know if it’s a boy or girl?

2018-06-28 00:26:31 UTC

Anyone heard of “Love & Logic”? I’ve heard a lot of good things about it for a few years, but my wife and I just got the book a couple months ago.

2018-06-28 00:27:32 UTC

So far it’s lived up to most of the hype, but it’s still early and I gotta finish the book. 😅

2018-06-28 00:32:32 UTC

Can we get a quick rundown

2018-06-28 00:32:56 UTC

@Grossly Incandescent we're gonna let it be a surprise

2018-06-28 00:33:28 UTC


2018-06-28 01:47:51 UTC

@Grossly Incandescent Sorry, were you talking to me? Yeah, I’ll try to summarize the methodology. It’s called “Love and Logic” but you could also call it “Empathy and Natural Consequences”, it’s just not as catchy. Basically, you make sure you administer all discipline with a healthy dose of empathy so you’re not the bad guy. And discipline should be natural consequences as much as possible.

2018-06-28 04:00:25 UTC

@celticflame thanks!

2018-06-30 21:57:00 UTC

I’m sure everyone’s noticed this at least once, but what are your thoughts on this modern style of parenting where the kid whines and the parents just hand them a smartphone or tablet.

2018-06-30 23:47:35 UTC

@Grossly Incandescent that is being grossly negligent. It will cause those kids many problems later in life

2018-07-01 00:40:58 UTC

It makes me sad, these kids can’t even speak and they’re already being conditioned by too much screen time and instant gratification, all because the parents are lazy

2018-07-07 23:42:33 UTC

When you reward whining, you get more whining.

2018-07-18 05:37:04 UTC

Nice to see this new channel as I haven't visited this server in a while! We have been enjoying this new addition to our family!


2018-07-19 00:18:07 UTC

@Volkmom congratulations on your new addition! So cute! Wish I had one that little still.

2018-07-19 09:55:51 UTC

@Volkmom Congratulations! Absolutely adorable

2018-07-19 21:32:32 UTC


Any thoughts on kids playing rough sports? My nephew is interested in football, but my brother is concerned about injury

2018-07-21 18:57:19 UTC

I would not let my kids play football. Loads of concussions that leave irreversible brain damage. I’m not going to make them stay inside all day, but why play head-butt games with blacks?

2018-07-21 18:59:20 UTC

My high-IQ normie friends who love watching football won’t let their own kids play football. They know better.

2018-07-21 19:03:30 UTC

I swam and played water polo. Both very athletic and low impact

2018-07-21 19:04:24 UTC

When I was a kid my dad made me play football and I never really wanted to. But if the kid wants to do it and isn’t being forced/ pressured into it they might get really resentful if they’re not allowed to

2018-07-21 19:04:38 UTC


2018-07-21 19:05:25 UTC

Lots of kids play football and turn out fine. If he's older, too, he probably won't play very long

2018-07-21 19:05:31 UTC

I totally get the worry of injury. I broke my arm playing football. But a kid won’t think about that and just get upset

2018-07-21 19:06:18 UTC

That being said, though, my brother broke his wrist a few summers ago at Freshman football tryouts

2018-07-21 19:06:49 UTC

Maybe flag football if the option is available?

2018-07-21 22:10:12 UTC

You don't really have to worry about head injuries until high school. the kids simply cant hit hard enough at that age

2018-07-24 02:23:09 UTC

I think there is a lot of value in boys playing physical, team oriented sports, though if we have sons this will probably be an issue of contention with my wife and I. Depending on the school, you wont really run into a lot of pituitary case blacks, either.

2018-07-24 02:24:49 UTC

I played through high school and dont regret it, even though I had at least one concussion, a broken wrist and beat up knees and shoulders. College ball is something else entirely, though. Probably not worth it.

2018-08-03 19:12:31 UTC

I'm not a parent but I wanted to share pictures of my niece.



2018-08-03 19:13:33 UTC

She's definitely a mover I took about a dozen pictures and these were the least blurry.

2018-08-03 20:30:35 UTC


2018-08-03 20:30:39 UTC

From some father son time. My 10 year old and middle son.

2018-08-03 20:31:05 UTC

The fish was 4 lbs 5 ounces and 14.5 inches long.

2018-08-03 23:02:45 UTC

Damn, dude. That's nice

2018-08-03 23:31:49 UTC

Was his first cast that night also. Haha.

2018-08-03 23:32:11 UTC

If your kid can’t fish and hunt are you even raising white kids?

2018-08-03 23:36:22 UTC

I grew up in the suburbs, bro. It's a depressing fact that I never learned to be a man

2018-08-03 23:36:48 UTC


2018-08-03 23:39:06 UTC

@JesseJames I'd love to hunt and fish unfortunately my dad never took me as a kid (I don't think he knew how either)

2018-08-03 23:58:33 UTC

You don't have to live on a lake to fish at one.

2018-08-03 23:59:37 UTC

I grew up in the suburbs and I did hunting and fishing and camping and milked a cow and drove a boat

2018-08-04 00:01:01 UTC

And to be a great dad, you don't have to know how to do everything, just make sure to expose your kid to all the things. If you don't hunt, but have a friend who hunts, or a fellow church member, or the boy scouts or something, your boy can still learn to hunt.

2018-08-04 00:01:15 UTC

It takes a village.

2018-08-04 00:15:37 UTC

@John O - @Deleted User @Zyzz come out to South Dakota in October or November. I'll teach you how to kill for your food.

2018-08-04 00:24:42 UTC

Gutting a pheasant is pretty easy. We do raccoons and coyotes out here too pretty much year round. Most guys would probably consider me pretty small but I can definitely teach you all a thing or two.

2018-08-04 00:25:45 UTC

I've gone into the woods and shot boar because they're an invasive species. I want to do python in the Everglades sometime

2018-08-04 00:26:19 UTC
2018-08-04 00:26:58 UTC

We have wild boars at my parent's estate, used to have our ammo bought by camp blanding to keep the pop down

2018-08-04 00:28:30 UTC

Once it starts cooling off we'll start culling rattlesnakes. I've got two so far this year but they sun on the roads during the fall so they're easy to get.

2018-08-04 00:34:56 UTC

I just realized how far from parenting this conversation drifted, but any parents who want their children to know how to kill rattlesnakes call me.

2018-08-04 00:36:53 UTC

@John O - I'm still planning it. Remind me to talk to Leo about it, but I'm so down

2018-08-04 00:39:53 UTC

Real talk, I probably am not up for it. I have a strict policy of not mixing Federally regulated items and dissident politics

2018-08-04 00:40:30 UTC
2018-08-04 00:41:40 UTC

Yeah I was also raising hogs with FFA at the time so it was slightly ironic.

2018-08-04 00:42:50 UTC

Sometimes I feel like a good grounding in agriculture is a vital skill for a child, it helps bind generations together through the familiar connection of soil.

2018-08-04 01:30:54 UTC

When I was really young my grandfather taught me all of these things and then I enjoyed them with my father later in life. I was raised hunting fishing farming playing sports and doing motor sports. So now I am passing along the same things to my son.

2018-08-06 00:42:16 UTC

Something I've noticed with my grandson,my stepson's son,is he has been with mama & daddy too much,so trying to get him exposed to other family & friends on regular basis helped,also stepping up with dads getting involved with more in his presence is helping him not be a mama's boy. Getting a whole way to expose him to more guy things is helping in addition to the normal nourishing from mama,a decent balance of both sexes. Also in the future helping to teach him various fishing,hunting,target practice,sports,etc will help round him out.

2018-08-06 00:43:43 UTC

Also as a lil girl,i learned some of these things .too

2018-08-06 00:44:40 UTC

Any tips on bringing up a baby girl in this crazy world?

2018-08-06 01:03:40 UTC

He just turned 2 last month

2018-08-06 01:05:39 UTC

Try to teach her all ways of traditional worlds,yet also round out some nicely in how to take care of herself by self defense & also fishin,hunting,an equal balance of both things.

2018-08-06 01:05:44 UTC
2018-08-06 01:08:39 UTC

My wife took a WIC breastfeeding class the other day and they said it was ok to smoke and drink while breastfeeding

2018-08-06 01:09:13 UTC

Made me really mad

2018-08-06 01:09:13 UTC

@Grossly Incandescent my granddaughter,also from stepson enjoys her girly stuff,but is also learning to enjoy boy things too like trucks,lizards & eventually hopefully they may soon get her into karate or there abouts,she is 5. She loves her pink & princess stuff,but also anything ypu can get your hands on educational wise,book,puzzles,etc too. She is a quick study.

2018-08-06 01:09:41 UTC

Holy crap! @Grossly IncandescentHell no!!!

2018-08-06 01:10:32 UTC

Yeah, her and Grandma thinks it’s because they want to give out as little formula as possible through the program

2018-08-06 01:11:05 UTC

Any nutrition stuff i could do while pregnant was big,my bad was i still smoked at the time but did eventually quite. But i never once drank!!

2018-08-06 01:13:27 UTC

I remember being nervous & worried about the food,etc i took in while pregnant and whatbi fed her after. I only wish someone had taught me how important breast feeding was,i had nobody to rely on,both mothers were alraedy passed away.

2018-08-06 01:16:41 UTC

Yes my mother smoked with me & i think drank too,but i never got the chance to ask her for any parenting advice because she passed 6 months after we were married.

2018-08-06 01:17:19 UTC

And my mother n law passed 3 months prior to daughter being born and she was old school,didnt talk about stuff to me..

2018-08-06 01:18:42 UTC

That's sadly true,i feel guilty bad because asthma runs in the family on both sides,my brother had it,husband,stepson & daughter have it..

2018-08-06 01:19:03 UTC

@missliterallywho I remember seeing some news cast from the 70s or 80s with a tobacco exec talkin about smoking causing low birthweight and saying “what mother wouldn’t want a smaller baby?!”

2018-08-06 01:19:29 UTC

That sounds familiar!

2018-08-06 01:20:33 UTC

My wife and I both think our baby girl is gonna be a big one

2018-08-06 01:21:11 UTC

Natural is the plan

2018-08-06 01:21:13 UTC

Thats rare,my daughter was 6lbs even & I did,both my stepkids were huge though,1 was 10.2,the other 9.7.

2018-08-06 01:21:32 UTC


2018-08-06 01:21:48 UTC

Try to keep it natural if you can I tried.

2018-08-06 01:22:35 UTC

I saw a woman do a water birth and said it felt great, blew my mind!

2018-08-06 01:23:01 UTC

Daughter was natural,both stepkids had to be cessarian after hours of trying natural. Same with my stepdaughter too,she had to go cessarian.

2018-08-06 01:23:42 UTC

Unfortunately i had to have the meds,i had excruciating back labor

2018-08-06 01:24:30 UTC

That was also prior leading up to years later having spinal surgeries too,so made it worse.

2018-08-06 01:24:47 UTC

Honestly i don't remember @missliterallywho

2018-08-06 01:25:33 UTC

She is 21 now,so hopefully down the road i will have more grandkids from her,help carry the line.

2018-08-06 01:25:46 UTC
2018-08-06 01:27:06 UTC

Well thats good,bet your starting to get really antsy! Lol

2018-08-06 01:27:20 UTC

Are you nesting,cleaning like crazy? Lol

2018-08-06 01:30:34 UTC

Lol ya crunch time indeed!

2018-08-06 01:31:02 UTC

Ya,your crafting stuff will take a back seat for a couple years.

2018-08-06 01:31:31 UTC

You better have it ready! Lol😉

2018-08-06 01:33:56 UTC

I miss that Cali weather. Florida’s been like mid 90s with hellacious humidity lately!

2018-08-06 01:34:05 UTC

Oh wow,no car seat yet? That was 1st priority i always made sure to get grandkids & daughter. Not easy with bowling ball in 85 heat lol😂

2018-08-06 01:34:49 UTC

That humidity would kill me,does sometimes in the valley,i hear how bad it is there in Florida,yuck,! Hang in there!

2018-08-06 01:35:57 UTC

Gonna finish eating dinner,good talk. If you need some other advice later,dm me. You can do this,i have faith in you!!!😁😀❤

2018-08-06 01:42:48 UTC

Your welcome hon,anytime! @missliterallywho You too! @Grossly Incandescent

2018-08-06 01:43:18 UTC

Thanks @celticflame !

2018-08-06 01:43:34 UTC


2018-08-06 02:18:05 UTC

@missliterallywho my first two are July and August babies. My wife did everything she could to avoid that again and our third was born in February. I feel for ya in the heat.

2018-08-08 22:27:05 UTC

Just saw this on twitter!

2018-08-09 05:53:55 UTC

Anyone read any of the Tuttle Twins books... I have a few and want a parents perspective on them.

2018-08-09 05:57:06 UTC

I like them for explaining in simple terms complex economic topics...but have any of you had experience with educational material like this?

2018-08-09 12:07:33 UTC

I haven’t heard of those but definetly looks interesting. The most recent book we have read as a family with my two oldest kids is a book by a retired navy seal named jock I willink. The title of the book is way of the warrior kid. It is an excellent book.

2018-08-09 12:08:46 UTC

Marc had a terrible year in fifth grade: he can’t swim or do pull-ups, doesn’t know his multiplication tables, and is being terrorized by school bully Kenny. But Marc’s uncle Jake, a Navy SEAL, will be spending the summer with Marc and his mother, and once he arrives, he begins training Marc to be a “Warrior Kid.” The training is both physical and mental, and chapters are dedicated to principles such as living by a code, early morning workouts, and discipline (“Discipline equals freedom” screams one page in giant capital letters). Marc embraces his uncle’s guidance, gets stronger, and starts sixth grade confident and able, even standing up to and reaching out to Kenny in a too-neat conclusion. Willink, a leadership instructor and retired SEAL, places worthwhile emphasis on physical activity, mental sharpness, and hard work. But Marc’s dismissal of his mother’s ability to help him because, “a lot of the time it seems she just doesn’t understand me” (in part because “she works a ton”) is a disappointing stereotype, and Bozak’s b&w line drawings don’t add much to the boy’s journey. More treatise than fully developed story. Ages 8–12. (May)

2018-08-10 05:30:43 UTC


2018-08-11 15:58:08 UTC

This might be a really dumb idea, but I was thinking the other day about the state of children's media. It's all very promoting of negative traits and multicultural society.

Would making kids books be a nice idea? We could use old stories of European heroics like Siegfried and the dragon. Some simple art and I bet it would be desirable.

2018-08-11 16:04:02 UTC

Amazon has a kids book designer app. Draw pictures, scan them. drop in text, and it it’s good to be published.

2018-08-11 16:17:29 UTC

@micbwilli I think it would be great. I mostly re use books from my childhood for my kids. But something new and fresh would be great.

2018-08-11 19:26:08 UTC

We badly need something like that. It would be an excellent business opportunity for someone whos a good writer

2018-08-12 17:45:23 UTC
2018-08-12 18:14:00 UTC

Tbf, that was an extremely ugly wall decoration

2018-08-12 20:12:48 UTC

It's an "R"

2018-08-17 04:22:10 UTC

Children's books are a great idea, I have also thought about this for quite some time. Currently at least one wonderful gal is undertaking a project in the folklore genre . She has a fundraiser, it was posted above by Grossly Incandescent. https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/launch-kinder-tales-european-culture-for-kids-books#/

2018-08-17 04:22:28 UTC

Carolyn Emerick's project, I believe...

2018-08-17 04:22:57 UTC

I homeschool, so I have had a lot of experience so far with sifting thru poz and finding good books.

2018-08-17 04:24:04 UTC

especially this year as we are starting History. I am going to reference March of the Titans by Arthur Kemp ( history of the White race) alongside the more mainstream 'Story of the World'

2018-08-17 04:24:23 UTC

for our childrens' history lessons

2018-08-17 04:24:43 UTC

Ostara publications also has some great non-PC history books

2018-08-17 04:25:10 UTC

I used to be concerned kids wouldn't develop social skills but people have been telling me that's pretty false since there is so much free time to take them anywhere. I hope I can homeschool my kids.

2018-08-17 04:25:33 UTC

oh yeah it is a commie myth that homeschooling makes kids socially awkward

2018-08-17 04:26:28 UTC

@Freiheit - CA I hope so too

2018-08-17 04:27:01 UTC

It is not easy, and yes it tries my patience at times, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else atm

2018-08-17 04:27:39 UTC

It is pretty amazing to teach and learn with your kids. It is mind blowing how much potential is in a homeschool education vs. public school, which as we know- teaches to the lowest common denominator

2018-08-17 04:28:21 UTC

in many areas homeschool kids *can* take some classes at their local public school as well, if one shoudl choose to do that for their child

2018-08-17 04:28:24 UTC

Yeah, I don't want to put my kids through the hand holding for the dumb kid.

2018-08-17 04:28:43 UTC

normie FB has tons of resources and homeschool groups for networking

2018-08-17 04:30:52 UTC

yes, I mean, when I look back at my elementary education of ancient Egypt, for instance- it's just mummies and King Tut and some pyramids... LOL ... SO much important and fascinating history and science, etc, just gets skimmed over . It is disappointing. Homeschooling is such an adventure and you have the freedom to make education fun, meaningful, and thorough...

2018-08-17 04:39:12 UTC

I'm definitely having my kids Read/watch The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

2018-08-17 04:39:23 UTC


2018-08-17 04:39:38 UTC

i regret not reading the books with our oldest before letting him see a couple of the movies... 😦

2018-08-17 04:39:43 UTC

You can't really argue with how nationalist it is

2018-08-17 04:40:00 UTC

very implicit

2018-08-17 04:40:16 UTC

It's Peak Identity Politics

2018-08-17 04:41:46 UTC

When I think about it, watching those movies when I was younger may have shaped my views

2018-08-17 04:42:34 UTC

Movies are alright, I prefer to imagine how they talk and interact.

2018-08-17 04:47:16 UTC

In most cases I'd agree. but seeing as how I lost my copy of the fellowship on a plane when I was 10 or so, reading never worked out lmao

2018-08-17 04:47:42 UTC

and the movies are masterfully made, so I'm ok with them

2018-08-19 11:38:17 UTC

What's the earliest age you can start lettting your son watch UFC? 😃

2018-08-19 14:05:46 UTC

day 1

2018-08-19 20:44:00 UTC

Feckin A

2018-08-20 03:05:24 UTC

Watch it from day one and start training when he can walk save weights until he is at least 13 though.

2018-08-21 05:28:24 UTC

I no longer recommend Jien Liedloff's book, "Continuum Concept" @@missliterallywho I read it about 10 years ago. I think its bs tbh. I totally agree with living by the rhythms of nature but that book is very questionable imo

2018-08-21 05:30:08 UTC

Birth control pills are definitely awful. Using natural fertility awareness is ideal. It has always worked for us. Intentionally conceived 3x with no accidents and our children are spaced by 3.5 years+

2018-08-21 05:31:31 UTC

So plenty of time for extended breastfeeding and allowing me time to recover and revitalize before conceiving again. I love that you're on this track!

2018-08-21 05:40:04 UTC

What I dislike about Continuum Concept is that i feel like it is in some ways anti-White, and also her observations of childbearing within the primitive South American tribes are put on a pedestal, disregarding European tradition, and I feel like for us we need to find a balance when seeking nature/rhythmic lifestyles, bc we generally lack resources for our own historical info- many aspiring Whites tend to internalize what literature and research that does exist- being that of "indigenous" tribes of the globe. While some of it can be of use, I find that deep down, much of it doesn't resonate as it once did, simply bc it it doesn't represent our folk ways.

2018-08-21 12:29:32 UTC

If you do decide to read the book I will look forward to seeing what you think of it 😀

2018-08-22 01:59:27 UTC


2018-08-22 19:59:06 UTC

Tbh it's been a long time since I read that book, but I think some of her accounts are extreme and unrealistic. Such as relaxing and trusting your crawling baby near a cliff edge. Lol. There is some questionable stuff in there about interacting with babies and if I remember correctly-sexuality stuff that was a major red flag. Regarding the continuum concept, i do think there is a balance to be struck. Hovering parents can be detrimental. We have always tried to allow as much physical freedom as safely possible with our developing children such as tree climbing, exploring water, etc. and it has benefited them in their agility and confidence and mental faculties. But I don't think her book contributed to our patenting style whatsoever, it was more of just observing our children, intuiting and bri g present to immediately step in and help and guide and teach when needed. It is bizarre sometimes to see some parents at the park, for instance. It's like, here they are at the playground and they are instructing the child's every last move. Let's do the slide now, let's swing now, climb on that, do this, no that's too big for you, that's scary, etc. The child is not getting to experience anything for themselves.

2018-08-22 22:04:29 UTC

i agree! well said!

2018-08-22 22:04:51 UTC

i look forward to your fresh take on the book after you read it.

2018-08-22 22:05:15 UTC

since its been awhile for me 😃

2018-08-31 23:53:51 UTC

Hi all. Didn’t realize this thread existed until today. Just had number #2 4 weeks ago and #1., 2yo this November, has been really missing 1 on 1 time with mom and now wakes whenever mom feeds and freaks out. We do sleep. Anyone else cosleep? Similar experience? Help? I’m so tired.

2018-09-01 12:40:39 UTC

Hey @Prestor John , I’ve got a 2 year old and a 4 month old myself. I can’t speak for everyone but I’ve never been a fan of co-sleeping. Of course you’ve “gotta do what you gotta do” but I’ve seen it backfire. I’m friends with two couple that both have 3+ year old children sleeping in their bed at night.

2018-09-01 12:57:46 UTC

My 2 year old didn’t seem too phased when we brought his baby sister home...at first. But now that she’s more active during the day, he’s started with the jealousy. Every family dynamic is different, and every kid is different, but one thing that worked well for us was to make sure our son was getting plenty of physical activity, he is much more likely to fight naps, or just generally act out when he hasn’t had much exercise.

2018-09-01 13:24:17 UTC

As far as bedtime/sleeping goes...my wife and I just had a discussion about it to make sure we were on the same page, bedtime is pretty much non-negotiable here. When we moved our son from in a pack n play in our bedroom to a crib in his own room, naturally we had to deal with the “growing pains.” But we set up a sort of timer system. The first night, we let him cry for 2 minutes before one of us would go in. We would not pick him up, but rather just lay him back down and comfort him briefly before walking out. The next night we started at 3 minutes, next night 4...etc. I think it only took 3-4 days before he was falling asleep on his own with no drama. Recently we started dealing with a bit of a sleep regression, where he started fighting his naps, getting out of his toddler bed and coming out at night. Basically I think he’s realized that life goes on outside of his room while he’s napping, and he doesn’t want to “miss out” He can reach doorknobs now and come and go as he pleases, so it actually got to the point where we had to lock his door at nap-time, or else he would come out of his room, or start slamming his door and waking the baby. Once we locked it, the first couple of days he would lay on his floor kicking the door and having a tantrum, if he didn’t calm down after a few mins, I’d go in and just put him back in bed without saying anything, and walk out. He fell asleep on the floor in front of his door a few times but eventually he gave up and started staying in bed.

2018-09-01 13:27:22 UTC

I’m sure there are a million different methods and expert opinions for parenting little kids, some better than others no doubt. I’m sorry this got way longer than I meant it too.

Tl;dr whatever you do, be consistent. Kids, especially toddlers thrive on consistency and boundaries. They’re getting to that age where they’re starting to test you, and assert some independence. They may not quite grasp “why” the need to

2018-09-01 13:28:46 UTC

They* need to nap, sleep, etc. But they do understand cause/effect. If you stay consistent, they’ll pick up on that.

2018-09-01 13:30:32 UTC

I’m no expert by any means, my wife and I are figuring this out as we go along too. It’s by far the most challenging experience of my life. Feel free to message me anytime, it’s great to be able to bounce ideas off of people here, I’m sure there are way more experienced parents here with tons of valuable knowledge

2018-09-01 14:24:14 UTC

We are pro co-sleeping @Prestor John its quite trad. great for breastfeeding and bonding. at around 2 yo or so the transition to toddler bed is definitely difficult, but better imo thanl etting an infant "cry it out". i agree with Px4 about plenty of physical activity to help with kids' behavior. Also strictly limiting sugar can have huge effects. a little one on one goes a long way. perhaps just mom snuggling and reading books to your toddler while she nurses the nb could be helpful. implementing one small daily thing with the older child that is special just for them can be good too, such as giving them a constructive way to "help" cook dinner

2018-09-01 17:14:38 UTC

@Volkmom @Px4 thanks! My wife was a nanny and sleep trained multiple kids but totally lost her nerve when it came to ours. She backed up her gut feeling with some research and we didn’t do it. Our soon to be 2yo was sleeping in his own bed earlier this year but with her being pregnant at the time and a heatwave making hi upstairs room a no go zone he came down into our bed. After our daughter was born we realized that we couldn’t switch back right away and wife and I Knie of like it when we all actually sleep.

My big take aways are consistency which we need to get back to and sugar, which he recently has had introduced to his diet. I did just build a high stool with a rail so he can stand next to mom in the kitchen.

2018-09-01 18:37:10 UTC

@Prestor John see what I mean about every family being different! We opted for the cry it out method (sort of) and our two year old is great about sleeping. Not that I have anything against co-sleeping of course, just wasn’t for us. @Volkmom is spot on about the one on one time, a little extra reassurance and attention can go a long way. And I agree with you both about limiting sugar, with one exception, we only limit added or refined sugars. Naturally occurring sugars, especially in foods with a high fiber content, like fructose in fresh fruit, or lactose in milk/yogurt..we don’t really limit them per se. But we do strictly limit sugary snacks and junk food. We don’t give him juice, they don’t need it and he doesn’t like it anyway. Cookies/candy are saved for very special treats. I really like that stool! I may have to make one for when he “helps” me work in the garage

2018-09-01 19:14:54 UTC

@Px4 im building one for the garage as well. FYI the bottom of the one in the pic is an IKEA stool we had.

@missliterallywho our 2yo goes to sleep without much fuss. I think most of the controversy is about doing it before 1. I could be mistaken.

2018-09-01 22:34:26 UTC

@missliterallywho @Prestor John yes you guys are absolutely right, my mom is actually a pediatric NP, so we had a great resource. She told us that you shouldn’t attempt to let a baby cry it out until they are old enough to sleep through the night without needing to eat. Usually 6 months old at absolute minimum. And only after you make sure their other needs have been met, they’re fed, not too warm/cool, in a dry/clean diaper, etc. A child that is crying ONLY for comfort at bedtime, IMO it’s ok to begin letting them cry it out. Learning to self soothe is actually an important skill that they need to learn. I will say that it’s hard to listen to your child cry, but eventually they all have to sleep on their own. The “timer” system my wife and I used was a happy medium between having them cry vs sleeping in our room forever

2018-09-01 23:10:28 UTC

we haven't ever let ours cry it out, but no dis to you whatsoever @Px4 . im glad you guys found what works for you. i dont coddle mine, i try not to. they're all boys and they're still tough as nails even though i gave them a full two years each of nursing and co-sleeping. imo the first one is the most difficult. after that, the younger ones strive to be like big brother or big sis so its easier to wean them from the various milestones...

2018-09-01 23:18:58 UTC

as for parents having their bed back, alone together--- i say we just have to acknowledge that there are different seasons of our lives/ relationships and its not always going to be like the honeymoon... couples can still find ways to be together in another space of the house. afterall, the point of marriage is to have children...

2018-09-01 23:34:49 UTC

@Volkmom it took me a bit to come around to your way of thinking since my wife and I had planned to parent very differently. I saw her rejection of sleep training, nursing until almost 2, and then co-sleeping as coddling and soft but I went along with it because she is at home with them. I couldn’t have been more wrong. My son is tougher, stronger and more confident than kids twice his age. I’m convinced Moms milk gave him the strength and knowing he has a home base gives him the confidence. That’s not to say kids SA can’t be those thing when raised differently. It just works for us, except the lack of sleep right now.

2018-09-02 00:28:33 UTC

@Volkmom none taken! Discussion is great, two very different schools of thought, two very different approaches towards meeting the same goal...happy, well adjusted, confident huwhyte children. @Prestor John I agree with you both, breastfeeding is so vital. Formula has its place but any amount of breast milk is better than none IMO. Curious as to your guys’ opinion on spanking? My siblings and I were spanked as children but very rarely. It was like the nuclear option for my parents, that’s kind of how we’ve been doing it with our son, when he needs discipline he first gets a sort of time-out, which isn’t really a punishment, more of a re-direct. One of us will sit with him in the rocking chair and talk about why we don’t (pester the dog, stand on the coffee table, take sissy’s toys..etc) after that we go back out to play. If he continues the behavior he gets one very clear, stern warning, we make sure that we have eye contact and he knows what he’s being warned about. If he still continues, he gets a spanking, a couple of firm swats across his diapered behind usually does the trick. We’ve been very consistent with the redirect, warning, spanking. And after a few times of that, we very rarely ever get past the warning stage anymore. I think once he realized that we weren’t kidding, he thinks twice before we get to that point lol

2018-09-02 00:31:15 UTC

Only asking because I was at the grocery store earlier and a girl I’m guessing around 4 was having a full on tantrum in the store, her mom was pretty much ignoring it, but the dad was doing the “ok that’s the last time, I meant it! Don’t do that, stop it, alright I’m counting to three, one two three, alright that’s it! This is your final warning...”

2018-09-02 00:33:00 UTC

I know my mom would have pulled me out of that cart and spanked me in front of everyone without a second thought, thankfully our 2yo is far too curious at the store to be getting upset.

2018-09-02 01:20:09 UTC

@Px4 we have not crossed that bridge yet. Our oldest is still under 2. My wife and I were both spanked but she is now opposed I am not. My feeling is that as long as it is consistent and controlled spanking is a good thing. I was only spanked 2-3 times and was a fairly well behaved child.

2018-09-02 01:56:51 UTC

I spank my kids while they’re young just use it as a sort of thing that lets them know they’re in trouble not to punish them with pain. When they get older I use work (academic and physical), taking away some of there toys or other pleasures as well as push ups and running as punishment.

2018-09-02 02:03:03 UTC

@JesseJames that's what my dad did with me. spanking until I was 8, then just various types of grounding and what-not

2018-09-02 02:05:23 UTC

One unique thing I remember was one time I was bugging him while he needed to make phone calls or something, so he taught me how to do long division and made me do a bunch of long division problems for a few hours.

2018-09-02 02:06:12 UTC

Same. I think it worked great on me so I continue with it. One difference is I can keep my cool with my kids much better than my father could.

2018-09-02 02:06:29 UTC

Yeah don’t spank angry

2018-09-02 02:07:22 UTC

^ wish you’d told my pop that 30 years ago. Lol

2018-09-02 02:08:08 UTC

Lol, one of those hard learned lessons

2018-09-02 02:08:33 UTC

We’ve all been there.

2018-09-02 04:11:15 UTC

@Prestor John Very nice! Glad to hear it! I totally agree. I have also seen some weirdo, typical liberal, parents take these ideas way too far. Definitely have to strike a balance. I think extended breastfeeding is great and the American Academy of Pediatrics now backs it up, which is great. But IMO weaning should be complete before the third birthday.

2018-09-02 04:14:11 UTC

@Px4 Spanking has happened occasionally, usually if it was a quick dangerous situation. Such as the time my son was being rotten and attempting to run away from me in a parking lot. he was 2 and he ran away from me as I was helping him into the car. That was a sharp, quick, mama bear nip, as I think of it. Times like that make sense... As for a spank as a punishment, it can work for some children who respond to just the first spank, never needing to receive another one. I was that type of child. I was only spanked once or twice, and was quite well behaved. But a lot of children just don't respond to spanking and it can turn sour when your last attempt at solving the issue is spanking, and spanking no longer works.

2018-09-02 13:13:03 UTC

If you spanking every day there is an issue that spanking won’t solve.

2018-09-02 14:06:03 UTC

My sister and I were never spanked, it is definitely possible to raise healthy children without spanking.

2018-09-04 17:14:26 UTC

Off the wall idea: IE Au-pair-Mädchen program. We are considering hiring an au pair as we do not have a ton of family support and have 2 under 2. Is this crazy or a building block for building a close knit society?

2018-09-04 17:16:50 UTC

@Prestor John That's a great idea

2018-09-04 17:36:19 UTC

We would need a coordinator who vetted the family and the applicants. But other than that it’s pretty straight forward. @missliterallywho would you be willing to ask around the woman’s server to see if there is interest?

2018-09-05 20:07:02 UTC

@Prestor John I have been thinking this very same thing!

2018-09-12 10:45:15 UTC

@Volkmom what do you say? Also, good morning :)🌞

2018-09-15 04:53:02 UTC


2018-09-15 04:53:23 UTC

been busy with homeschool, sorryguys

2018-09-17 17:03:27 UTC

My wife is 37 weeks pregnant as of this Thursday. What are some tips y’all can give me for being prepared for this final stage. I already have car seats, diapers, all that kind of obvious stuff.

2018-09-17 18:52:20 UTC
2018-09-17 18:52:27 UTC

Home stretch

2018-09-17 18:53:50 UTC

Can’t wait!


2018-09-17 18:54:37 UTC


2018-09-19 21:09:46 UTC

Thanks for the advice @missliterallywho and congratulations!

2018-09-19 21:09:54 UTC

But have you run a marathon?

2018-09-20 02:19:47 UTC

Can anyone recommend a homeschool curriculum that would pass New York states stringent (anti) homeschool requirements?

2018-09-20 02:53:54 UTC

@Jonaltright I want to use this one with my kids http://greatbooksacademy.org/

2018-09-20 02:54:18 UTC

There's also an augmented one, Angelicus Academy, that comes with theology as well

2018-09-20 02:56:23 UTC

Awesome this looks good!

2018-09-20 20:05:21 UTC


2018-09-20 20:06:06 UTC

There are plenty of fat people who have elected surgery over running a marathon.

2018-09-21 01:33:16 UTC

Would this be the proper channel for discussing how to deal with parents?
Not in a teenage angst sort of way, the much more serious "I'm 30+ and my 60+ boomer mom is actually suffering severe, near-complete short term memory loss."

2018-09-21 01:52:12 UTC

@Wood-Ape - OK/MN I'm sorry to hear that. Sure maybe our fellow members can help from their perspective as parents.

2018-09-21 01:54:22 UTC

Yeah, it would just be complaining. Mom and dad have been to many doctors appointments, but my mom refuses to take positive steps that could improve her situation or at least prevent it from worsening. She doesn't exercise, she doesn't volunteer (she's retired), or do a hobby, or read. She just smartphones and watches basic boomer day time TV.

2018-09-21 01:59:55 UTC

I know it can indeed be frustrating... At least she has access to a smart phone,that's something as far as other information. My dad won't do squat but is probably much older at 78. I'm in full caretaker mode though basically now since he has lived with us the fast 4yrs,but more so the past year.All he does is watch TV all day,refuses to excercise,do any type of hobby or sit outside for sunshine. I have to treat him like a lil kid anymore tell him to shower,eat,everything..

2018-09-21 02:03:05 UTC

I've gotten him train puzzles,etc,but he won't do them. And only a few times has he decided to play a board game with us..he just wants to lay in bed and zone out on tv,rarely reads anything at all anymore..

2018-09-21 02:04:26 UTC

But he alao has severe emphysema, so can't do alot of things but he still could do some thingsif he really wanted to but he won't. I have to push him to get anything done..

2018-09-21 02:06:15 UTC

Damn, that sound really rough. Luckily my mom hasn't yet developed any other conditions, although being an inactive female elder has wrecked her posture and I worry about her bones.

2018-09-21 02:06:34 UTC

My mom does play sudoku, but far more on FaceBook

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