I'm all alone tonight kings

Roommate and boog bro is gone johnson for the next two days

nice

Time to drink alone, hopefully I can hop on the discord with you fools tonight

@Bard I've been day drinking alone for a hot minute - definitely keen to hop on later, I reckon

@/K/aptainBlastin same problem my dude - but I'm taking small steps to ween it off - it ain fuckin easy though 💔

@INNYGMATYK 10-4 mein kameraden

@/K/aptainBlastin yo I used to be like this

I fixed it by lowering my alcohol consumption

Which sounds fake but there's so much sugar in beer

Also excercising a lot

Insomniac dealing with withdrawals from breaking away from a cocaine addiction. Should be asleep right now but mind is racing and can't get it to shut down

^ Pretty much still in that boat - but it's been steadying out

Yeah. Got stiffed by my supplier a few days ago, used to prepay for my shipment but this time never came through. So my body isn't very happy with me

I kicked coke cold turkey 2 years ago. It gets easier with time

Just have to stay motivated

Yeah - helps if you're away from that kinda environment, too

Absolutely.

But perfect motivation to get and stay clean. And that's essentially what I'm doing, just not by my own doing Haha. I was most of my people go to guy so won't have to worry about being around it

I spent Sept innaTrapHouse and went on at least 1 week long powder pow wow

I had a roommate who was selling a key a week

About 6 months of it pretty steady, about an oz sold a month ish

My roomie was obligated by debt to sell crack, and in spite of "" how chill it was "", bottom line broke down to ; **I live with a crack dealer**

so I got out while I could

Damn son.

It be like that

That’s fuxked

Happens.

I pretty much watched the town's coke market flip innaweek

Tru

Haha damn man that’s crazy

homie came by to jostle roomie for his contacts, and then he went after anyone else slinging

said "" you work for me - or you don't work ""

Damn lol

was a wild fuckin month, man. . .

That’s gangster tho

idk - it was sorta. . . cringeghetto - but yee

I’m saw my old roomie make some dude his bitch like that one time

Shit was tiny

Funny

XD

I gotta story actually

I love drug stories or stories of people’s illegal shenanigans

I feel like it really brings us together

so this guy who's ""new KingPin"" was meeting my buddy at a fucking Boston Pizza.

2 tables behind them, is buddy's old boss, and Kingy sorta notices. He straight up walks over to boss's table, while he's with his date. And is like "You can finish up, but when you do, we're gonna talk outside."

Boss thought he just wanted to pick up - so they pulled cars up together ""sup"" ""sup."" and that's when he laid out the ""give me your business. you're not from here. and I don't let people who aren't from here deal in my town.""

homie was choked and pulled off - and it was a . . . thing hahaha

it's pretty degen shit - but it's. . . real too, yknow? . .

drama is bleh but. . . watching the market at work. . . 👌

Oof. But it's what happens when you step on toes

yeh

I actually had done something similar, but it was with a different thing

?

now

bois

I remind you

don't post anything incriminating.

but go on.

Valid

Story isn't technically illegal thanks to a few legal loopholes involving religion

God is good LMFAO

@INNYGMATYK jesus man.

@Deadbeat Radio it be like that lmao

So im a decent enough chemist, and I would create my own DMT, roughly a half ounce at a time because shit is very potent. There was one other guy that maybe made an eight ball every couple weeks or so, and I caught wind of it and basically offered a proposition: to save the hassle of making just a little bit for yourself and going through the wait, I'll just trade you what you usually create in exchange for your reagents, it'll keep my process moving and you'll still have the same product, as my method produced twice as much per unit but took much longer. Happily obliged and still to this day, despite my stopping after my apartment burned down due to something completely unrelated, dude still does not make any more to this day, and it's been about 8 or 9 months now.

Now mind you, I'm a pagan spiritualist, and DMT is my method of meditation when I'm wanting to connect with the gods, thus as long as I'm not making it to sell, and only sharing with those to partake, it is fully protected by my first amendment rights.

I feel that.

@AzraelLucius can you help with my chemistry class m8

DMT is a trip to me, and I don't necessarily want to repeat an entire conversation we've managed to have on this server like, 4 times these past 2 weeks lmao

But basically, Psychs are alright. Chems are okayish but they're not great. And the **hard shit** is best laid aside.

I do fuck with quite a bit of acid and fungus though

My chick and I just did whirring last weekend lol

*shrooms

Depends on what part? Lol I know mainly acid base reactions and chemical extractions from plants thanks to my time spent studying

@RedDiesel95 first time or?

Bro for the life of me I do not understand quantum numbers or the SPDF bullshit

And psychs were originally my go to, but got roped into a bad crown

Crowd

For her yes for me was the second time

But I used to do acid a lot when I was like 18 19

Blotters or windowpanes? Or were you lucky enough for a vial? Lol

Mmm tans and the gels

Tabs

Ooooh

No vials tho

I’ve only heard horror stories about people spilling that shit and tripping for dayyss

Old gf of mine did a 10 strip and was lit for 4 days

Only after 1 month of my uncle's death he had a funeral

Each day I get more and more sad

Im just venting

I really cant see the good side of things

King I’m sorry for your loss, a death in the family is never easy, how’ve you been coping?

@Sir Harndes We're here for you

@Piv not well

3 months ago a cousin of mine commited suicide

@CPL Henry.L[3SFG] thanks king

Jesus, you been able to get some time to recoup recently? That’s got to have been rough with both of those happening so close

Jesus fucking christ, don't do the same please

You've got one life man, don't throw it away, there are so many people out there that love and care about you. Love and care about yourself, despite stupid mistakes we make and this retarded clown world we live in. Keep your chin up, I'm devastated to hear about your cousin.

Find the joy in little things

@Sir Harndes I'm sorry that happened. That's not easy to deal with at all, just know that were here for you

I ain't getting deep in this subject, but its not easy to find joy in little things, take care of yourself and dont throw it away. Dont want to sound like a cunt, but its easy to say that when you're feeling good and in a good position (not assuming you are, just generally speaking). Guess what? Im not. Have to wake up everyday to have to feel a tremendous amount of anxiety a sadness fucking sucks. Life is not beautiful as everyone tells me, at least not mine. If people think their life is great, I dont care, it ain't making my life better.
Same goes for suicide. "Don't kill yourself. You'll just make the life of your family and friends more difficult". Great, now I have to keep living and suffering just for the sake of others to know that im not dead.

Try to find 3 things no matter how small and tell me about them

3 things that make you happy

Sorry, I still offer my condolences and I hope you feel better, for whatever that’s worth, stay strong

You can’t boog if your dead remember that

i am a kind of tired sleep cannot fix

What's going on chief?

thats one hell of a question

Well then I expect one helluva answer

Cant help if I dont have at least a slight idea of whats up

thats a question ill probably answer another time, for now i will continue listening to music that gives me the same feeling that sleeping on a mattress without sheets does

Aight, but know you can reach out to me whenever

i appreciate it king

Anytime. Now go and do some self care if you dont have any responsibilities to get to. If you do, crush those, then take time for yourself

My criminal case got somewhat resolved today which was good

Got a sentencing hearing on the 25th

May I ask what your charges are?

you dont have to answer that

Lol here's a weird one for you

"Property: Firing Timber or Prairie Lands"

State of Idaho

Just a misdemeanor and like 60 hours of community service for me

If you want to know more just DM me

It's complicated

But I posted here because it's been a year and a half to come to this point and it's relieving

Thats an odd one for sure and I know how you feel man I had a Felony charge and an owi that was in court for like a year

both charges were a bunch of crap but waiting that long for the sentencing was super sressful

It's a criminal case for me and a civil case for me and my closest friends

The criminal is over for me, the massive settlement has driven my friends from me

Which has been kind of hard for the past 2 yeara

*s

Again, hard to explain

My only reliable vehicle started pissing oil today 😔😔

Big oof

It be like that

I had a '00 Continental that I loved more than anything in the world, worked great but at about 155k it started pissing oil like a bitch and was basically a two stroke because I would fill it with oil every time I got gas

Shit man. It may be an easy fix.

Wheres it leaking oil?

My damn Remote Access Client server host went down and my entire company can't remote into our clients computers for troubleshooting!! FOOOOOK

@Ramrod1992 It's from the back on top. I think it's coming from the oil pressure sensor and its a bitch to get to. They have an o ring on them so I'm guessing the o ring is leaking. Not a lot to leak oil from on the top rear of an LS and luckily they're easy motors to work on. Still sucks though

Yesterday was a year I had to put her down, this was my favorite photo of her

@swiggity sorry to hear that

Okay. I'm super bad at staying on top of.tasks. I procrastinate like a motherfucker sometimes and it's an issue.

It stems from my being afraid to get tasks done poorly, so o don't do them at all

Same man. I do it with homework all the time. Staying up late because it was due that day

I do it with shit that ends up costing me money

It's kind of an issue

I'll admit I procrastinate because I know I can. Not trying to sound douchey, but I consider myself pretty intelligent and I know I can get piss ass drunk and write a paper the day it's due and get A's.
I know it'll catch up to me when I start taking harder classes though

Damn man

I do it because I'm afraid I will do a bad job and would rather avoid tasks. I'm facing this right now, bought productivity and mindset training and have been taking it

But I just feel like shit about it

How do you feel with simple everyday tasks?

I saw a bump in productivity by starting small with stuff I hate doing like dishes and yard work

Helped with the procrastination quite a bit when I was keeping up with it

I suck at them.

It didn't used to be an issue but now that I work at home it's becoming a problem. I sort of have to routine train my brain to be productive, I have morning rituals etc

But today I didn't do mine and now everything is fuckey

Bro preach. Working at home is a different animal, thats why I refuse to take online classes. I had to analyze an article on productivity last semester, lemme see if I can find it and send it to you king

Maybe I'm just having an off day

It is Friday 🤷

I just feel like a piece of shit for not wanting to do my shit today

I got so much done yesterday

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2019/03/28/smarter-living/productivity-isnt-about-time-management-its-about-attention-management.amp.html

Not so much about procrastinating but it's a good read

Okay

Hey bros

Anyone online?

Ya mang

I just need to share this with somebody

Shoot good buddy

It's about a girl

I've been into her for almost 3 years nos

Now*

And after seeing some of her photos again I realised that all of my girlfriends since were just substitutes for her

You friends or you just watch from afar?

I've been around with a lot of girls, some of them were even good women

She was a friend of mine

I knew her from class, but I was not especially close to her

More of a colleague than a friend, now that I think of it

I've been trying hard to go on and find a girl I'd truly love, but I always end the relationship because I just can't love other women

Anything come between you two recently?

Or you just kinda figuring stuff out now?

I guess figuring stuff out

I'll go on a date with a new girl who seems really sweet next week, so I'll see how that goes

I'm gonna be optimistic

Thanks for hearing me out man

Most of my friends and close family members are either busy or sleeping, so I just needed to share this

Anytime bro, best of luck on your date

Thanks bro

Insomnia!

Been awake for two days fucking crying when I’m by myself

Was fucking stupid and lost my job

@CPL Henry.L[3SFG] explain

@FloperatorFatty oof

Im so sorry

You'll make out of it

Anxiety and the person I like just got into a couple, among other health things I do t want to get into

We're on the same boat then

Epic

Anxiety and depression are really tough to get through but I’ve done it before so I can do it again

You need to get through the bad to get to the good

Hey man fighting those feelings can last a lifetime but so can the boog boi support network. ❤️

I feel that. My last 2 days were nothing but anxiety, partially due to needing this paperwork done perfectly, procrastinating till the last minute, and almost fucking myself over because of it. I still messed up some, but I have 1 opportunity to correct it. I also got fuck lucky with something else that would've taken weeks to get to me otherwise. Point is, I'm bad at starting and finishing things early

Make this my 10th funeral in about 15 months

The fuck bro

Funerals are good for picking up chicks too tbh

I mean what

Uhh

I’m getting blamed for trashing my hotel bathroom by the people who did it.

Dumped out a bunch of sodas

Yeah, I was there, but I was scared and it went by quickly

Oof

Talking with friends makes it better

Bought a new battery for my phone

It fucking stoped working 6 hours after purchase

Damn corona people. I want my fucking money back

Can't trust the chinks

Lol

I have been fighting the worst feelings the past 2 days

I feel totally restless, constant negative thoughts, and I don't know what's going on

Only got 4 hours of sleep last night and woke up feeling totally off

Angry, lonely, anxious, and depressed

I don't know what to do

Usually I don't talk about this stuff

Anything causing them in particular king? Or you start feeling them out of the blue?

Out of the blue. It's combined with the stress of leaving school to go look for a big boy job, and being single/alone with nobody to talk about my feelings with. This feeling of unease, sadness and overall shit just popped out of the blue though

Could be dietary, I have no idea

Honestly the only thing that keeps me going and brings me up are friends that make me genuinely laugh.

Thats good bro

You have a place to go to be yourself and thats important. Lots of people dont have that

It's kind of hard to explain, but even when I'm sitting down I'm constantly having situational anxiety about where I am and I can't sit still

Idk what I'm saying

You dont have to know man just let it out

Sometimes it just needs to come out for you to make sense of it and that's what this is for

Dont be ashamed or discouraged, king. Articulating thoughts and feelings isnt an easy task, and text makes it twice as hard

You're right. I just want to feel like my normal self again. Thanks for the support. I'll check back in if I feel normal again.

My anxiety is out of control and I can't sleep

Record company finally go back, they want to start super soon and have an ass ton of requirements

So that's good but I'm anxious about the effort level

And the time

I have 3 other projects right now and two more starting soon

Pwave is launching soon

First rehearsal with my new church band was a ton of work and very taxing

Corona

People contacting me asking about my plans

Asking me and my boys to come help them when shtf

I'm busy as fuck, have a producer from Nashville coming up tomorrow to work

And I have three hockey games this weekend

I feel like I'm losing my mind and I can't sleep

I'm worried I'm going to fuck myself out of all these good gigs and thousands of dollars worth of projects, table value between now and end of April is like 10k and I'm not sure how to handle that

First rehearsal was hard and I'm worried I'll be viewed poorly

Fuck

I didn't make time to go to the gym but once this week and I'm definitely feeling it

Fuck

*fuck*

@Bard its completely normal

I had the same shit