I lik3 my brother

Wasnt very ethic

Told it in front of my friends

She ran crying

I feel like shit

I mean, does he have a problem with her following him?

Y3ah

Fuck dat bitch

He told me to tell her that

Trenches m8

Affirmative

cold weather is making my ol grunt bones hurt again

ow oof

my bones

Yp lo

I feel like a stepped on spider

I ***feel*** my knee joint

idk how to describe it

other than i really feel it

heh

heh

I *feel* that

@P I L L A R M A N I feel it

I have a bad knee

wellp

I'm the new supervisor

Congrats

Hum

It's not good, isn't it?

It's not great - but it's not terrible.

*can I sleep yet?*

**no.**

My gf hasnt let me peacefully play mw all weekend and im strongly considering tellin her to deuce out.

Damn

Girls will be girls after all

I got a gamer grill so I got lucky

Ah, the most elusive race

This is more like the cherry on top tbh

^

My girl is cool with it

I just have to wait for the fucking 80 gb install

I can play all I want

Cus I don't have one

*dab*

I mean your now wrong homie

Not

In what?

**no.**

I aint been feeling to hot fellas. My grasp on emotional control is slipping,i barely sleep, chain smoking, I am having auditory and visual hallucinations

Ive been creatively stuck, almost manic

Anxiety

yea ;c

im feeling bit better than i was

lol

@Thomatorr, King of Ohio we outta throw down some MTG tomorrow eves

dude Brawl is insane

I have a fucking overwhelming red green deck now, I can DM ya so we can nerd out more on this shit

bruh I can't even handle coffee grinds on my S K I N - how the fuck yall drink shotty coffee??

Not having much choice made me drink it lol

Still won't touch instant coffee though

I remember we used to dip the instant coffee that came in the MREs

^^

Now I ain't gotta do that shit lol

I've dipped instant coffee

It's hard out in these screets

Yea it was pretty shitty lmao

Today its been 5 years since my italian grandfather died

I miss him so much

I see him as an example of a man

Took great care of my family

Something I can't do

You will be abke to

Just taking my load off

@wendiko no i dont. Im useless. I don't do shit

Jobless, a barely take my trade seriously

I hate myself. This is the big reason I dont go to the gym anymore, there's no point of taking care of my body

Its easy to feel bad for yourself.

Gotta keep going. You have time

Grind for it

Your ADOS is weak - but subte enough that anyone will take it

Self doubt only comes from fractured senses of self and iron ideas of this person we expected we should be. Doubt is the killer of dreams and I don't want you to ever give up Kings. Some where along the line,you lost faith in yourself. But it can always be reclaimed. You just have to trust yourself more.

It's all gonna burn - but only **you** decide how flammable you are.

^

Use the fire for positive change

I wish there were more Terrorbirds around but

let's be real - we'd btfo that beak n feathers. . .

@Thomatorr, King of Ohio there are things I know I can do

But there are other things that im sure i cant

Like, a lot

King I will be here to help you feel as confident as I can. Hell if I lived any where near you I'd be over often

Thanks fam

I'd invite myself to that hoedown - but, same distance problem

I cant get confident enough

What have you been up to this past month my man?

It takes small steps

When I lost my mind because I was gaslightened-narcissistically mind fucked by my best friend of 15 years. I wrote all over the walls as a way to have a place to re-enforce what I knew of myself. I wrote all the good things about myself I could muster. I wrote the bad things and how I can be more aware of my negative habits and how i can change them. I wrote what I dreamed about. I wrote what small victories I've made in the past. We will always battle against ourselves. We must take the reigns from our unoccupied mind and demand it to submit to our will. That will take the best of your strength. Catch yourself feeling that way,then try to do even the smallest joy producing thing and get lost in it.

@INNYGMATYK nothing really

I read a bit

But most of the things I really wanted to do I didn't do anything about

I feel that - I'm lacking and behind too

but I'm taking all the steps I can

and it helps to remember or remind yourself who you're doing it for.

Like Tomater said ; take inventory of your assets. All of them. You have at least some, trust me.

And then you know what you're working with.

And, once you break down your problems, you'll find the tools and what you have with how to use em.

idfk dude - but please trust me you will find a way.

Yeah

But there are things I really want to do but I dont have the personality nor the hability to do so

Do I really deserve happiness? serious question

Its not that you may or may not deserve it

Its whether or not you can find it in and for yourself

It exists in us. there are just complications in there

Never be worried about getting medical help.

I am sure a good bit of us come from a rough background,and those things as a child,really fracture our perception of the world and of ourselves.

So taking the time to go back and evaluate the wrong doings and the pain is worth it. I got good relief knowing that I'm partially manic and everything I worry about is turned up into a 10 by my fucking stupid dick smoking brain

and we do give too much power to our unoccupied brains

its like busting an employee fucking off while your the manager,come back " Oh look this fucker went on lunch early" or " this dumb sum bitch is on facebook "

Damn dude....

You seek your own hapiness my dude

Im just too unlucky to find it

Did I say something wrong fam ?

i don't know how I should feel now.... or how I should proceed.....

@Thomatorr, King of Ohio I get what you're saying, it's good stuff tbh. I just feel confused about myself and my own happiness

I'll tell you what I do

I kind of do that Dr.Strange shit. I just kind of imagine myself out of my body and examine the problems and why I react to them,then I wonder why I am holding onto them and try to find the simplest thing that'd bring me joy at the moment.

Like, mental projection stuff?

Yeah

I just go "Tom,do we really need to hold onto this problem ? Look at how its treating you,and how you are reacting to it,do you want to give a probability of a negative experience power over you ?"

I dont/ because normally the worst never happens

and should it ? Well I had my faith in myself and I can cash in on that

Like I used to get mad fucking salty that my lady would go to the bar with her friends. I used to be worried as fuck that some dumb hoe shit was gonna happen. Well. I said,the only real way I can test myself is to let this imagined experience happen if it does,because I've been a good man to myself. I've propped up my ideas on my shoulders,remaining clear and in good acting with myself. If it happened. I knew that I would be okay because I dared myself to let it go and let it happen should it. And know. I have no problem about her doing her own thing because I created trust there.

So anymore I can totally feel okay. I am worried that I might not be there to protect her from any one else. But I know,through emotional conditioning and faith in her,that nothing stupids gonna happen.

and I tell you what. I was like that for years

I'll.... I'll actually have to try that. Thanks bro

You in the US ?

I can give you my number to reach out if you need to

I'll walk you through anything King.

Yeah, Arizona

where ya at bro? i just wanna chat lol

I'll meet all of you at the Valhallian gates. Whether you've faced men in combat or yourself in the darkness of your own mind. You deserve a name on the hall of warriors.

Ohio

Hop in Trenches ?

Lemme get a good smoke in first

Take your time bro, I'm not gonna rush 😎

If you want to know something about me

I am afraid to sleep

ptsd?

Childhood,yeah

damn bro

My family and their drunk friends would dress up as monsters and demons and try to pull me out of the bed that was flush with the window

I understand that they were just being dicks,but its something that carved a very big scar in my mind. and it doesnt bother me now,but its affect me at a very early age

affected*

God damn........ What the fuck even.....

Who the fuck does that with a kid?

my grandfather turned my uncle into a druggie....

Basically, grandpa loved to smoke leafies and well, his dealer got arrested, so he basically got my uncle to start smoking so he could find younger dealers to "hang out with" and get him some supplies

Man they broke acid up in front of me and I ended up trying to put it on my tongue

Thats fucked

I took my first acid tab whennI was 12..... it wasn't a good experience.....

when I*

My grandpa said "it was candy" and well....

I was 7

Man...... our families are just shit.....

To some extent i wish i had not ever experienced such things

But

I know now that I am tremendously powerful

Okay I'm solid now. Trenches fam ?

Trenches are always neat bro

You guys play WH?

WH ?

I mean,if you wanna join me in voice chat king I'm rt

Voice chat?

OH CRAP THERE'S A VOICE CHAT?????

shit I'm stupid 😂

Im joining

But i cant speak atm

Just typing

Lol

ok so @thedarkness05 doesn't work Thurs night

g o t i t .

*nodoxpls*

***sryntsry***

@INNYGMATYK it be like that. Only because I have to work friday mornings. Although I could be taking a permanent thurs-fri double

Mons still gonna work DnD wise??

WHO TF BEING SAD IN THIS MFER RN

?!

Me

oh shit king why

Because im very dissatisfied with life.

Anything particular King ?>

Us not slotting ts makes me sad.

im not familair with what that my might my dude

Just sad

hop in trenches BOI

hey - who's on??

Me

dammit. no admins.

how are you dude?

I'm good, you?

good - just sum the ol War Thunder

Neat, never played that game

and more /k/rama - but yknow

What do you think if the CZ P10C?

I found a good deal on one

But if I bought another gat, my girlfriend would be pissed with me

Good thing you scored a deal then~

it looks sexy tbh

what's the ballpark?

They usually go for $450 or so

I found a NiB for $320

Wellp. If you're sure it's in decent shape

Imean

Reputable seller

you can't get to 250 or 300?

$320

fair.

No, that's the lowest I've seen

It's NiB

oh

very nice

Yeah

I want it, but I also don't want to be in the dog house

So

truth

Do you have a picture of your dog?

I donut hab dug

but

Here's one for you, fren

this is Gus

Yusss

00ft - sippy boi

So pretty

can we get more photos of pups in here?

I have no pups, only kitty cats

Kitty's are acceptable, I got 2 myself

I have one gray normal shorthair and one Maine coon

Maine coons are good lookin furballs

Heres one of mine, this one acts more like a dog than an actual cat. little shit rolls over and latches on when you pet her

Looks like a good boy

I’ll say though, the Maine coon has had more real medical problems than a shorthair will ever have

https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/626254639741796373/639951549388423193/718CFB5E-CFD1-491C-B24B-7F926D04D70E.png?width=264&height=499

Heres my little weenie boy i had for about 8 years, he passed about a week and a half ago

Her name is honey