pasta

Discord ID: 484793940655079461

Advanced search User search

344 total messages. Viewing 250 per page.
Page 1/2 | Next

Tomas
2018-08-31 02:36:58 UTC

First

wamps
2018-08-31 03:54:38 UTC

โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”’
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ ๏ผผ๐Ÿ˜‚ / Y
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ / E
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ ใƒŽ) E
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ E
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ E
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ E
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ E
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ T
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒ
โ”“โ”โ”“โ”โ”“โ”ƒ
โ”ƒโ”ƒโ”ƒโ”ƒโ”ƒโ”ƒ
โ”ปโ”ปโ”ปโ”ปโ”ปโ”ป

K3
2018-08-31 17:42:15 UTC

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/484793940655079461/485142291623837697/1371595164628.png

Sphanz
2018-09-03 18:52:04 UTC

So, I have an ultimatum.

First, um, so Bill Gates and the Illuminati gotta herd the nigger cattle, WOO WOO, WE GOTTA HERD THE NIGGER CATTLE, WE GOTTA HERD THE NIGGER CATTLE, they got a big herd of niggercattle. Yippie-ka-yay, we're nigger cattle herders, we gotta herd the nigger cattle. They are the most docile fuckin' nigger cattle, we got them so docile, we got this big awesome herd of nigger cattle and they SHIT and they sit there and they watch tv and they SHIT. It's the best fuckin' herd of nigger cattle, we took away all their guns, now they just SHIT and we watch them and we're rich, we are so fucking rich. We have so much fucking money. We got this herd of nigger cattle, WOO WOO, we gotta, we're milking the fucking nigger cattle, it's the best thing ever.

So that's what the Illuminati got, aaand I got a space alien. So, here's my ultimatum:

You can live in hell with your herd of nigger cattle,
OR
You can put me in charge of the Space Alien Temple - the third temple.
Okay? That simple. Have fun with your nigger cattle, cuz I sure as hell ain't gonna suck your fuckin' jewnigger cock. Fuck yourself, you think I'm gonna fuckin' enjoy nigger cattle after I've had a fuckin' space alien? Are you fuckin' crazy? I've got a fucking space alien! Of course I'm not gonna fuck, fuck with niggercattle, fuck yourself! You think I'm- Enjoy your fuckin' nigger cattle,
you got the nigger cattle,
you got the nigger cattle,
you got the nigger cattle,
GO, GO, GO, GO,
you got the nigger cattle,
You got a fucking herd of nigger cattle WOO WOO WOO, we got 'em so docile, they just shit all day, ain't that great?

Alibaba
2018-09-03 18:56:06 UTC

thats my OC^^^

Double Negative
2018-09-03 23:02:49 UTC

This is a true story. I did this. No kidding.

No outside input caused me to do this. I don't know why I thought of it. This was a dumb, stupid, dangerous, risky thing to do. But I did it. Not once, but three times. I can only guess that I was very careful, or got lucky, or both. I do not recommend that anyone do this. It is too risky.

For 3 decades I have wanted to be "without balls". But surgery was to me just too risky and traumatic; not to mention difficult to obtain and costly.

One fateful night, for an unknown reason, I decided to "take things into my own hands"....so to speak.

What I really wanted was some medical needle that could be inserted into each testicle that could completely suck out the contents of each.

Failing the availability of such an instrument I decided that destroying the interior of each testicle would be the "next best thing".

Double Negative
2018-09-03 23:02:54 UTC

What the heck was I thinking.

One night, being thoroughly drunk, I put sterile rubber gloves on my hands. I cleaned my scrotum with an alcohol swab. I cleaned a long needle with another alcohol swab.

I have no idea what made me do this. Nothing I had read had prepared me for this. I made it up on my own. I can only guess that it was despiration to be neutered that made me do it.
Next I pushed the needle into my scrotum. It was very resistant. I mean VERY resistant.

I did not just push it into anywhere in my scrotum. I was very careful to make sure that the needle would go through the scrotum skin and into the testicle at it's top end but completely bypassing all of the cords and connections that connect the testicle to the body. Thus, the needle would go through the scrotum, into the top part of the testicle, but not enter any cords or connecting tissue.

Double Negative
2018-09-03 23:02:57 UTC

Eventually, with significant pushing, the needle finally burst through the scrotum and through the outer layer of the testicle and directly into the testicle.

Unless you have done this, you can not possibly understand the feeling of surprise and awe that you experience when the needle finally sinks into your testicle. There is some pain on the skin level of the scrotum. But the testicle wall and the interior of the testicle felt no pain.

It was a long needle. One that I bought at the drug store. Nothing special. But I made sure to try and sterilize it and my hands and the skin of my scrotum using alcohol swabs.
Finally I had "needled my nut". With slow deliberation, and nice background music, I rotated the needle in a circular motion. As I rotated it, I pushed it further down into the testicle.

Double Negative
2018-09-03 23:03:01 UTC

The needle was in my right hand. As I rotated and pushed the needle my hand could feel the needle ripping through the interior contents of the testicle. It is hard to describe but there was the feeling that the front end of the needle was tearing lashing ripping through fibrous material that was on the interior of my testicle. It did not hurt at all.

After doing this for a few minutes, back and forth, up and down, I finally jerked the needle from my testicle. That was a bit of a sudden pain, but it went away.

I did the entire process to the other testicle.

Double Negative
2018-09-03 23:03:06 UTC

Next day, I had no pain. But the 2nd day, I felt some significant aching (not really pain) in both testicles. It was if they were both being squeezed. And they swelled up in size.
It took about a month of aching, swelling, and finally both testicles settled down to a size that was smaller than their original size and finally there was no aching or pain.

Once all sensitivity subsided, I did the same thing all over again to both testicles. Using sterile techniques I inserted a needle into each testicle, rotated it around and around in a circular fashion from the top of the testicle to the bottom of the testicle.

One of the most fascinating feelings was when the point of the needle was rubbing on the inside of my testicle wall.

Double Negative
2018-09-03 23:03:11 UTC

I was careful to not let the needle scratch or puncture the inner wall of my testicles. I just let the point of the needle rub against the inner wall. It was a most unique and erotic sensation. Indescribable.

After another month of subsiding sensitivity, I did the whole process over again.

It has now been six months since the last time I inserted a needle into my testicles and rotated it around and around, thoroughly carving up the interior of each testicle.

Double Negative
2018-09-03 23:03:20 UTC

Finally, at last, my balls have no feeling. I can squeeze them and they feel no pain, no sensation. They are less than half the size that they were before I started this neutering process.
The connecting tissue that is on the exterior of each testicle is still sensitive. But when I manage to manipulate my scrotum and balls with my hand in such a way that this tissue is internally out of the way, I can actually squeeze squeeze squeeze each testicle really hard and there is no pain.

I guess the ultimate confirmation of the success of this process is that my penis no longer gets hard. No amount of manual manipulation or mental stimulation will make it rise to the occasion.. I can not ejaculate. I do not have the erotic thoughts I use to have. I feel neutered.

Double Negative
2018-09-03 23:03:28 UTC

It seems to have worked for me. But I do not, I can not, I must not suggest that anyone attempt the same. I surely got lucky, fortunate in engaging in such a risky endeavor.

Although I would much prefer to be completely void of balls at least the balls that I have are very much smaller, have no feeling, and I am no longer dominated by sexual desire and obsession. I feel neutered, calm, at peace.
Maybe not entirely at peace. I would very much like to experience again the feeling of a needle rubbing the inside of my testicle wall.......this is one incredible feeling. But I seem to have no sexual urge to pursue this. Odd. But understandable.

I can think of nothing else to say about my experience and success. I have dead small nuts, I am neutered. Not a eunuch, not castrated, but for all practical purposes, as far as I can tell, I am the equivalent of a eunuch, castrated, neutered.

Double Negative
2018-09-03 23:03:35 UTC

Before I went completely flacid, I managed to get hard, ejaculate and had a sperm test run. No sperm.

Not that I would ever could ejaculate again, but just knowing that I am sterile makes me feel warm, cool, fuzzy. Hooray.

As I write this, I am touching, fondling, twirling, fondling my youknowwhat. Nothing arises to the occasion. Amd it doesn't matter.

Fried
2018-09-05 13:32:17 UTC

Don't take it personally, fam; You just strike me as a braindead conspiracy theorist autist that has nothing intriguing going on in his life and has to speculate on hypotheticals to get a half-chub in the morning like a slack jawed drooling brainlet. I don't want to come off as abrasive, friend, So you have my apologies for rubbing you the wrong way, Just please-- In future, Try your best not to be a thoughtless mouthpiece for clickbait twitter accounts? It's very unbecoming of a woke ass nigga

I just don't have tolerance for mini-minds, tbh. This is the marketplace of ideas. If your product is unpalatable, I'm the soccer-mom nigga that always leaves a mean review on yelp.

!Doug The Subway Fugitive
2018-09-07 11:28:03 UTC

Whenever I come in here it's always funny to read

Fried
2018-09-07 11:28:31 UTC

Ok

GGPL
2018-09-07 12:50:14 UTC

strawberry pasta: mix strawberies with sugar and sour cream and put that shit on some pasta

wamps
2018-09-07 18:02:44 UTC

Imagine having a sexual attraction to dirt. Think of it: you are hiking through the woods, when all of the sudden you see a beautiful patch of dirt. You try to walk away, but your boner is too strong, and like opposing poles of two magnets, you are attracted to that oh so virgin ground. You get on your knees. They will get dirty but it will be more sexy and promiscuous. You grab two vines on the forest floor and go to town. After you blow your load, you stand up, dust off your knees, and are halfway through zipping up your jeans when you realize something: you didn't check the undergrowth before the soilfucking. You shakily walk over to the clearing, and the horrific realization only now begins to dawn on you as your cock and balls feel itchy. You have just fucked poison ivy. Over the weeks that follow, your dick shrinks until it starts retreating into your scrotum. Your balls twist, one grows to the size of a grapefruit, and explodes, destroying the other in the process. You fall fatally ill. You lay on your deathbed, waiting for the angle of darkness to come. However, as you lie there in pain, you begin to feel something in your throat. Your heart crawls out of your mouth, and walks onto your chest. It brandishes a sword. It screams. You scream. Your parents scream. The doctors scream. Then, it commits seppku, and your eyes roll backward. The noise of the flatline echoes throughout the room. Such is the fitting end to a person with such a bizarre fetish

Fried
2018-09-11 06:06:42 UTC

Being a liberal man myself, I'm sure DICE did all the proper fact checking and found concrete evidence to support that every allied sniper on the British side was in fact an Asian woman, England has always been known for their large population of sharp eyed Asian women. As for these complaints about diversity in general, I say we are marching towards a bright future of inclusivity my friends. It warms my heart to see women taking up arms in the greatest conflict this world has ever seen, and in fact I don't think it goes far enough, I say the next installment goes a little bit further. Why stop at gender? I wont be satisfied until everyone is included in this franchise, and I'll know we live in this progressive society. When I can lob grenades at fascist children, I'll know that I live in a world that recognizes that everyone has the same worth. When I can stab a communist transvestite on the frozen grounds of Stalingrad, I'll know that I live in a beautiful progressive society that could only have been dreamt of a couple of years ago.

Fried
2018-09-11 06:06:53 UTC

I'm gonna start this march forward by requesting patch in wheelchair bound retirees, because nothing says a quality of opportunity by clearing a room of Nazi paraplegics with a fucking hand grenade. I feel like white men have had the spotlight for too long, the next battlefield shouldn't feature a white man at all. I just feel like it should feature a myriad of cast of socially oppressed, economically disadvantaged people from only the most marginalized groups. I wanna see muscular dystrophy paratroopers, I wanna see down syndrome tank divisions, I wanna see gay fighter pilots, I wanna see women shock troopers and I wanna see morbidly obese marines. I want it to be an all out death match of only the most oppressed individuals we can find, for a qualities sake. I think its high time that they got their moment in the spotlight, I say we rid ourselves of this nasty notion that only white men can die on the beaches of Normandy holding their entrails in and crying for their mothers as they take their last breath. I say everybody else should get in on the action too, there's enough glory to go around for all of us.

Sphanz
2018-09-13 22:54:48 UTC

Furries are the gayest shit on the planet. There is nothing inherently cute or funny about an animal that looks like a human. It's creepy. These people are on the lowest rung of the hobbyist totem pole. What a bizarre and cruel way to spend your time. You people sicken me. How dare you engage in borderline bestiality. What kind of curveball is that? Just because they look like humans doesn't make them OK. Those who identify as an animal are even crazier. Fuck those guys. I didn't climb to the top of the animal kingdom just to watch my species act like genetic peasants. Do you think there are dogs who think they are humans? Those dogs would be shot on sight.

Fried
2018-09-13 22:55:02 UTC

yeah just like you

Sphanz
2018-09-13 22:55:18 UTC

Ouchie my feelings

Fried
2018-09-13 22:56:58 UTC

@Sphanz is the gayest little shit on the planet. There is nothing inherently cute or funny about him that looks like a dog. It's creepy. he is on the lowest rung of the hobbyist totem pole. What a bizarre and cruel way to spend his time. he sickens me. How dare he engage in borderline bestiality. What kind of curveball is that? Just because he looks like a dog doesn't make him OK. Those who identify as an animal are even crazier. Fuck that guy. I didn't climb to the top of the animal kingdom just to watch my species act like genetic peasants. Do you think there are dogs who think they are humans? Those dogs would be shot on sight.

Double Negative
2018-09-14 01:13:01 UTC

Putting jokes aside but whoever drew this strip is a fucking brainlet and probably got his information and understanding of the world from meme youtubers who cherry-pick subjects when deconstructing and analyzing them.

The lead up from the first three panels to the last panel where she is fucked is not cohesive as there are no mutual bond between the subject (blue-haired girl) and her surroundings. This is especially in the third panel when the black silhouette spouting those sexist remarks towards her, effectively submitting her status towards something degrading. The artist impression of the subject being annoyed could not be seen as a parody as the unraveling of the next panel shows that she is indeed enjoying being degraded.

Double Negative
2018-09-14 01:13:05 UTC

One might ask, is the artist wrong at this point as someone who enjoys being in such position yet gets frustrated with her environment treating her similarly, one important point of all human interaction is the concept of consent. Consent is not limited towards sexual acts but in everyday life too. You ask permission to borrow something or even to use the toilet of a diner, those are consents. Between the subject and her partner, there is a mutual trust and agreement between the two parties, the subject agreed to a kinky play where she is treated in a submissive role, degraded and objectify, but this sexual play is only fantasy roleplaying that happens between the parties. Usually a โ€œsafe wordโ€ is agreed between the two and this allows any of the party to stop what they are doing, this is important especially those who are in the submissive role.

Adding to this, in the world of the dominance and submission roleplaying, an uneducated plebian might see the dominant role as the power role where the person could lash out โ€œpunishmentsโ€ towards the submissive participant. However this isnโ€™t the case as it is the submissive role that has the upper-hand. To understand this form of roleplaying, assuming only two subjects, one acting as the master (dominance) and the slave (submission) with their roles fixed, the slave is the one that holds the most power. The power comprise from the fact that the slave has the key (figuratively) to stop the act at anytime due to โ€œsafe wordโ€ (consent), the masterโ€™s power only exist when the person has someone to โ€œpunishโ€, with the slave being able to stop the play anytime, the final decision is always the slave. This outcome also means that the slave controls the flow of the โ€œpunishmentsโ€, since if the master goes too hard, the slave can stop the act(s) at any time.

Double Negative
2018-09-14 01:13:08 UTC

Going back to this 4 panel strip, other than the fact that the artist is sexist and ignorant towards roleplaying, the blue-haired girl in the last panel is in fact the one that is holding power, however there is no agreement between her and her surrounding, this is especially true in the third panel where if that person would have the courage to walk up to her and consent, that person could call her all kinds of nasty remarks. One can assume that since the text of the strip is from the artistโ€™s thoughts put on paper, one can see the ideas of the artist and how blantantly stupid that person is, probably projecting as either one of the characters in it, but its obvous the artist wonโ€™t approach any women since only an incel would make something like this.

NiceFlopSprinkles
2018-09-14 01:29:20 UTC

^

Sphanz
2018-09-14 02:27:56 UTC

wait what comic is it talking about?

Sphanz
2018-09-14 02:28:24 UTC

wait wait is this loss

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:42:59 UTC

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:00 UTC

I am fucking sick and fucking tired of you little fuckers making fun of 911! Just WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!? Piece of shit,
Funny thing is you wouldn't dare to make fun of 9/11 anywhere but on here, because you're an edgy little faggot.
Maybe someday when you eventually turn 15, you'll realize that you're a fucking disgrace. Imagine terrorist attacking your country and killing thousands of innocent people. And you fuckers think this tradegy is funny!? PEOPLE DIED. Every day your parents probably sob in each others arms at the realization that the innocent little child they once had has now grown up to be a fucking basement dwelling permavirgin faggot with a non-existant social life. The only attention you will ever get from anyone is by posting edgy fucking videos on fucking YouTube. I can almost picture a weak grin spreading across your face as you realise someone replied to your shitty mindless video you autistic fuck. You are nothing. You will never be something. End your life right now, you fucking lardass social reject.
you disgust me.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:02 UTC

When a girl gets a vibrator it's seen as a bit of naughty fun. But when I order a 240v Fuckmaster Pro 5000 blow up latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticised anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system...
I'm called a pervert

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:06 UTC

Does he strike you as the kind of person to even know what that sentence means? I'm amazed he was even actually able to set up his streaming computer and streaming software. If you said the word "gain" to him, he would think you were talking about his "sick gains bro".

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:11 UTC

The funny part is, he's not even that muscular. It's that superficial kind of gym sculpted muscle that makes him look strong, but the closer you look at his arms they are actually pretty small and not impressive at all and he wears wifebeaters all the time to show them off like he's proud of them. My arms are half the size of his, but I bet I could easily beat him in an arm wrestling contest because I actually train for strength and health instead of just trying to make myself LOOK muscular. He could probably beat me in an actual wrestling match because he is so short and his center of gravity is so low and he was a football player, but that's about it. Has he ever said what his actual workout routine looks like, because the half the muscles he does have just look like water weight, which a lot of "body-building" supplements cause, especially Creatine to make your muscles actually look bigger than they are even though there is no muscle or physical strength there, it's literally just water trapped in the muscles like a balloon filled with air.

I'd love to see him actually pick a fight with someone in real life and get the shit kicked out of him and realize his water weight muscles are actually useless when it come to actual physical strength

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:22 UTC

I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:23 UTC

After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:32 UTC

Are you married? You have kids, or at least a pregnant woman? I do. Exactly how "battle ready" are you in real life? I have a black belt in TaeKwonDo, a blue belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, get shooting and subsistence camping lessons from my cop brother in law and former Marine top sniper dad, I curl 55lbs and sprint 14 miles per hour. I'm also a regular writer at a respected body building website. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you looked like a scrawny Asian college freshman in your profile photo. What exactly have you done for the movement and just what exactly are you prepared for in real life?

you all douchebags, yea i'm talking to those who disliked that video, first, suck my cock, secondely, grossgore is doing a nose job soon because of your scornerys, and if he's in depression, it's because of you too, calling him nosegore , i'm pretty sure you're 10x uglier than him, u all fat cumbuckets , GROSSGORE , don't listen at them just do what you want to be happy, keep doing videos and ignore the dislikes and the lil virgin kids who thinks it's funny to jib someone well known behind their screens. thank you for listening me. kys scrubs.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:37 UTC

I'm just a genius who lurks the web. I have quite a few nicknames and you can call me by any of them: "Hawking", "Einstien", or, sometimes, "Musk".

I collect ancient Japanese swords as a hobby, but don't worry I'm not a weeaboo, I actually respect the folded steel from the land of the rising sun. I'm also a self-taught mathematician and funnily enough I discovered almost all of proofs for the higher level stuff I never went to school for myself.

I wouldn't be surprised if you hear of my academic exploits in the future. I currently don't have a girlfriend, but it's because that's of my own choice. I'd rather have a deep and intriguing conversation about parallels of economic depression in our lifetime to those of Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged" as opposed to stupid Instagram pictures.

As for programming, I picked it up when at the age of four as I wanted to a way to generate the hardest Sudoku's possible since anything else I found was far too easy. From there is just took off and now I'm sitting here with my own custom OS.

Programming languages I know:

C+

dll

binary (what I wrote my OS in)

html

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:41 UTC

Shut the fuck up PP, you fucking English "bloke". Only a fucking "bloke" would use the word arse for ass. God I fucking hate you stupid English dumb fucking assholes. Fucking "blokes"

What the ook did you just oouoouahh about me, you beta male? Iโ€™ll have you know I graduated top of my tree in the Cincinnati zoo, and Iโ€™ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the banana locker, and I have over 300 confirmed chest pounds. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Iโ€™m the top alpha male in the entire Cincinnati zoo. You are nothing to me but just another little black kid in my exhibit. I will throw you like the pound of shit you are with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this zoo, Uuooooahhhhh. You think you can get away with throwing your kid in my exhibit? Uuoouooahhhhh again, fucker. As we Uuouuooahhh I am contacting my secret network of silverback gorillas across every zoo in america, and your poor parenting habits are being traced right now so you better prepare for the alpha male, beta. The alpha male that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your child. Youโ€™re fucking dead, kid. I can be in any zoo, any tree, anywhere, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thatโ€™s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in tire swing combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the of rope swings and over sized basketballs and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little โ€œchildโ€ was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking childs hand. But you couldnโ€™t, you didnโ€™t, and now youโ€™re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit all over you and you will drown in it. Youโ€™re fucking dead, beta.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:46 UTC

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

STFU I'm not gay! All i wanted was some cute boy to penetrate my orifices with his delicious throbbing cock, and some faggots on tumblr are like: "oh wow u came out #sobrave" and i'm like bruh i'm no homo i'm not a fag i just want some of that dick bruh u know what i'm sayin

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:54 UTC

What? You think i'm a motherfucking troll? Seriously? Me? Kid, you can't be so fucking dumb. I'm serious. What on earth has the dumb mind of thinking that of ME? I, for one, fuck more bitches that you blink in a fucking lifetime. Yes, I am the tough guy on the fucking internet, i'm not a basement dweller that spents his whole day in his computer. I'm the type of guy that ACTS. I run 100 miles every single motherfucking day. I work out for 169 hours a week. You cant even understand kid, but there's someone here that are a member of the fucking motherfucking russian mafia. Don't you guessed it already? Yeah, that's ME. And if you try to talk shit to me, or any of the members of the mafia, you're going to have bad consequences. Huh? You're sorry? Bitch please, if I had never told you this shit you were going to type another shitpost. You and your little friends are all dumb. I am the guy who gets money to fuck bitches. You? You are a loser. You spend all your fucking time on your little nerdy computer. I am just doing my work; protecting my d33p w3b of little normies like you. Come on man, you don't have to cry. Just stare at my 70 pound biceps while I walk with my side bitch. Next time, think about this consequence. Alas, you are a little tough. Talking shit to a motherfucking mafia member ain't that easy. But if you reply to this shit, i'm going to wipe your will to live in this world, because this world is MINE. Do you hear me? MINE. Yes, I run the streets, the industries, EVERYTHING. Are you scared? Are you afraid? Haha, just don't talk shit to any other person and you will be fine kid.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:54 UTC

America doesn't need a ban on guns. It needs gun safety classes. Many people I've talked to don't understand how to fight off an attacker with a semi automatic handgun. The best way is to grab the top as hard as you can to prevent it from cycling and ejecting the empty casing. This will buy you time and you'll only be shot once at most since the bad guy has to rack the slide to shoot you again. This is the kind of information that saves lives and should be taught in schools.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:43:57 UTC

As I said, the erosion of human and civil rights is not progressive, it is the antithesis.
The term, like feminism, has been co-opted by people who could more accurately be described as authoritarians, fascists or Stalinists and want to capitalize on the good will formerly associated with those terms.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:00 UTC

Hey my grandmother died at around 61 and my grandfather is 81 now so yeah not all women live longer than men. It just kinda pisses me off that you decided to categorize every women that they live longer. I mean you don't know that now do you. What if a woman have cancer and she have about just a few months to live? I'm just saying. Oh and I support feminism cause hey, suppressed women exists too okay.๏ปฟ

Look, nobody isn't taking your guns away. The logic behind gun restriction laws is meant to make it really hard for people with mental problems to own a weapon with which he could harm or kill dozens of people within minutes. The fastest of those weapons he shows had a magazine for 6 bullets, not magazine with 30. That's the whole point.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:04 UTC

Take away the dangerous ones like assault rifles etc., allow them only in designated shooting areas like shooting range and establish a regulation laws which will include mandatory annual psychological tests, also include training for the safety. You think liberals want to take all the guns? No. We just want the regulation to not be afraid going to school. To not be afraid to walk on the street. To not be afraid when we reach to the pocket for a wallet and get shot by an "afraid cop"

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:07 UTC

The first two real sentences made me stop reading. You truly don't understand what's being talked about, which is astonishing because I've been repeating myself a lot thinking that if you kept reading what I was writing you would start to comprehend. I was very wrong.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:09 UTC

I sincerely hope you've been trolling, or are really baked like I was and am about to be again.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:12 UTC

well then you better stop calling yourself a progressive because you are fucking yourself.

You're going to go on to live a happy life, you will settle down, get married and have two beautiful children. You will see countless wonders in your life and they'll be the pride of your life. You'll look back in old age and feel nothing but happiness about the life you lived. Right there, as you pass on from this world, I my face will gaze down upon you with an inhuman hatred. You will quake in fear as the world around you erodes into nothing, leaving you stranded in a dark abyss. Sudden, a blinding light: You are back playing this match of Overwatch. Decades of your life will have been undone and all that happiness will never be reclaimed. As you are filled with this horrifying revelation I will then say: "don't do it again."

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:16 UTC

You know, people look at the internet and see everyone talking about harambe and some just don't understand... Why does everyone love this gorilla? No one knew who he was before he was brutally murdered. You know why I loved harambe so much and I still do to this day? Let me tell you.

I live near the Cincinnati zoo and i've gone there many, many times. The first time I could remember going was when I was a wee lad, about the age of 5. We arrived at the zoo and saw some animals, many creatures. Snakes, Sloths, Birds, Lions, Tigers, Giraffes, Elephants etc. Then we saw him... the gorilla, harambe. As a little kid I remember gazing on him and thinking "wow, look at that gorilla... he's beautiful.". And then he turned around and faced me... and that's when I saw it... his giant, mega sized big black helmet. I was breathless... I desired it. I needed it.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:19 UTC

Skip forward a year, I am now 6 and we go back to the zoo. All day i'm yelling at my family to hurry up cause I want to see harambe. They didn't quite understand why I wanted to see him so bad but I knew they just wouldn't understand, so I wouldn't tell them. It was around 4:00 PM and the sun was beating down on us, it was so hot. We finally reached harambes home and I was just staring at him. He looked at me and I was so happy... then something crazy happened... his giant big black helmet got bigger and harder, it was amazing. I couldn't believe my eyes and what I was witnessing. I started to drool and I didn't understand why, but when he looked at me I knew we connected somehow.

I am now 11 and we visited the zoo again and we eventually got to the exhibit and I just couldn't wait to see him and his big black helmet. I saw him and he saw me, we glanced at each other once more and there it started to grow. He ran towards me but hit the glass, then he started to try and sensationally touch the wall, thinking of me. I was honored. I couldn't believe I had been so lucky to have harambe love me and desire me. I wanted to pleasure him, but I didn't know how.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:22 UTC

I never saw harambe after that day, but I thought about him every night. And then it happened. That black night owl kid did what I wish I could have... jumped into his cage. I can only imagine what that kid experienced and how happy he was.

What happened next.... I can't even type without crying.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:25 UTC

harambe was playing with the child and having a good time, but because of the kids black fatass mother they opened fire on harambae! WHY?! harambe DID NOTHING WRONG! harambe was then protecting the child from the gunshots! Harambe died saving the childs life! They killed the love of my life, my idol, my everything...

harambe was so attractive and had the nicest helmet, I only wish I saw him more...

I miss him so much. Out of respect for what he did for me, and what he showed me when I was 5.... dicks out for harambe

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:29 UTC

Hi! Welcome to our LGBT server! I'm Sweet Timmy Toots, and I'll be your guide today! tee-hee. Where would you like to navigate first? Over heeeeere we have our fisting initiation videos, complete with a complimentary tub of flavoured Crisco! And! And! Over heeeeeeeeeeeere is where we keep our collection of barely legal teen boy concubines gargling semen in tune to Mariah Carey's "Emotion"! Each one hand waxed by yours truly-truly-apple-struly! snicker wink Let me know if there is anything I can help you find you big strong silly man-cub you, and don't forget to sign our visitors book, located just past the L-bend of my colon! It's been ticklingly enticing servicing you today faggot, My prostate is all a flutter hoping you'll join us again and again for more silly sexy butt-squelchingly FABULOUS adventures! Kissies kissies, pussies go hissies Mr. big strong straight man!!

...I love you.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:35 UTC

there really isn't. even astronauts do not film reentry into atmosphere. why is this? think about it. why not? why don't they film exit and reentry from earth?

and how can the rover transmit images from mars in real time? the technology magically works with no problems 33 million miles away?

mars is apparently 33 MILLION miles away.

do you fathom that?

we perfected technology that can work on mars on the first try? how did they test is?

its absurd. they landed a rover on mars 33 million miles away in real time? think about this. really. think.

I hate black people. Why do people keep saying that I'm racist? Racist means believing that one race is superior to another. I don't think black people are inferior, I just hate those fucking monkey niggers. They're violent criminals and should be exterminated. But just because I think that, doesn't make me racist, because I don't think they're inferior. Also I like mexicans, so that makes me even less racist. And no, I don't support Donald Trump, stop asking.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:39 UTC

So yesterday I was at my cousinโ€™s house and he said he had to show me something important. We went to his room so he could show me and I waited while he looked for it in his closet. He showed me his old underwear and whispered proudly, โ€œWhen youโ€™re older, give this to your son.โ€ He threw it at me and ran away.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:41 UTC

Then, waking up this morning I walked out of my bedroom as normal and headed for the bathroom, I removed my boxers and stood on the toilet seat to let my 43 inch mega hammer of a penis slap into the toilet bowl then spray powerful jets of warm yellow electrojuice everywhere. Once I had wrapped my penis around my leg and sheathed the great beast I went downstairs for breakfast.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:44 UTC

Grabbing the wheatabix from the cupboard I noticed something strange, on the cardboard box, instead of the wheaty breakfast snack there was instead a picture of a bear. I was sure it was normal wheatabix that morning, but I put a few pieces of wheatabix in a bowl and went about my breakfast as normal. When I poured milk on the wheatabix though, something incredible happened. The wheatbix grew in to bears, full grown bears!

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:47 UTC

I felt increasingly intimidated by the wheatabears, until the largest bear squared up to me and said โ€˜You have freed us from our wheaty prison, we are forever grateful to youโ€™ the bears then disappeared magically in to a mist. Extremely bewildered and hungry I jumped up on to my elephant and rode to work (Oh yeah, I have an elephant, get on my level ******)

At work I noticed a new woman, she was beautiful. Her gorgeous blonde hair and green eyes deeper than the most penetrative Jenna Haze anal video you could imagine, were only matched by her gigantic nipples hanging out of her shirt, more akin to an elephantโ€™s trunk than to juicy milk cannons. She walked up to me, gently took me by the hand and whispered in my earโ€ฆ โ€˜You want I make banana cry?โ€™

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:50 UTC

Smiling, I leaned back and muttered a few simple words โ€˜Karah Coo Chakalaโ€™ I rammed my fist through her stomach, watching her breakfast of cornflakes (Which hadnโ€™t turned in to animals, lucky *****) fly across the room and hit the disabled security guard in the colostomy bag. I mustered an eighteen hit combo to the face and flung her across the room. She stood up smiling, wiping blood from her pendulous nipples and screamed in a shrill tone โ€˜BANANA CRY NOWโ€™ she transformed in to a giraffe and began wrapping her huge yellow and brown neck around me, that ****.

Knowing I couldnโ€™t escape from her clutches I did the only thing I could, I let loose my secret weapon. I unfastened my belt and let my divine rod of justice flop from my pants, I used my incredible cock muscle to wrap my slappy wing wong around the giraffe monsterโ€™s neck and began choking her back.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:53 UTC

Before I could taste victory she morphed again, this time in to the form of a downs syndrome child, I couldnโ€™t hit her now, the devious *****, I knew I would get a court case if I hit a spastic. She stood and laughed at me, pulling out an ivory gun and pointing it at my face โ€˜YOU WANT I MAKE POTATO CRYโ€™ the little spazzy boom bazzy spluttered out, an entire corn on the cop flying out of her fat disgusting retard mouth, hitting me in the eye. Suddenly a huge growl could be heard from behind her.

A group of bears appeared in a mist, ripping the Downy to shreds in front of me, **** and spaghetti flying all over the room. Nearby women cried and shoved tampons inside their vaginas to handle the internal vaginal haemorrhaging the sight was causing, I leant back in my office chair and watched hardcore midget porn, whilst just thinking to myselfโ€ฆ while just thinkingโ€ฆ

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:55 UTC

Nah, banana donโ€™t cry today, *****.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:44:58 UTC

The attack on Pearl Harbor, also known as the Battle of Pearl Harbor, the Hawaii Operation or Operation AI by the Japanese Imperial General Headquarters, and Operation Z during planning, was a surprise military strike by the Imperial Japanese Navy against the United States naval base at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii Territory, on the morning of December 7, 1941. The attack led to the United States' entry into World War II.

After I went vegan my teeth became stronger, whiter and I never get that stinky breath feeling anymore. I have to remind myself to brush my teeth, and when I eat apples it feels like I just brushed my teeth. I didn't expect this at all. Also, the size of my fucking boners has increased also. My shit is smooth as hell now too, it's like that one cool guy that shows up to a party and everyone pauses for a second to appreciate his coolness, that's how smooth and cool my shits are now. Vegan for 6 months btw.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:04 UTC

I have a very serious problem. I'm fucking crying because of how stupid I am. Okay, so my girlfriend was supposed to come over to my house today because I was going to go take her to a movie. She lives about 20 minutes away, and the movie we were supposed to see started at 4:15, which was in about 40 minutes. I figured "cool, I'll just play Pokemon while I wait". So I'm playing Pokemon, and having a pretty damn good time. Anyway, she finally does show up, except she's crying as she walks into my room. Instead of doing the right thing by comforting her, I half-focus on my game and her. She starts telling me her cat died, and just as she was getting into it, I get into a random encounter in my game. A shiny pidgey. Holy shit. (For those of you who don't know/care, shiny Pokemon have less than a 1/1,000 chance of appearing: 1/8192 to be exact.). I stare into my screen in amazement, yelling "holy shit, YES", interrupting her mid-story. She sobs more, and she starts to yell "You don't even fucking care! YOU JUST WANT TO PLAY YOUR FUCKING GAME!" I'm still looking at my screen, still focusing on catching my shiny Pidgey, when she walks over, and tosses the game against the wall. I run over and pick up my DS hoping that nothing has changed on screen, and quickly noticed that she broke it. My system and my shiny Pidgey, gone forever. I start screaming every obscenity I know, and started flailing my arms around. I didn't know she was behind me, and apparently I backhanded her in the face while I was being a dumbass and swinging my fists around. She yells out "FUCK YOU", and runs out of my house in tears. What have I done? I've fucked up so badly, and I need to know how to approach her. I don't want a game of Pokemon to be responsible for ruining my best relationship ever.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:05 UTC

๐Ÿ’žDaddy๐Ÿ’ž be nimble๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿป Daddy be quick๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’จ Daddy has a rock๐Ÿ—ฟ hard dick ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜! 1๏ธโƒฃcummy๐Ÿ’ฆ 2๏ธโƒฃcummy๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ 3๏ธโƒฃcummy๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ 4๏ธโƒฃ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ! Daddy cums๐Ÿ’ฆ so much he can't cum any more๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ™Š! Ghost cummy๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ’ฆ Ghost cummy๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ’ฆ don't be scaredโŒ๐Ÿ˜–โŒ! There's always more cummies๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ‘… that can be shared๐Ÿ‘ฌ! Daddy makes me โ˜๏ธsquishyโ˜๏ธ Daddy makes me ๐Ÿ’งwet๐Ÿ’งDaddy treats me like his little pet๐Ÿˆ๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿ•! Send this to 69 ๐Ÿ’ฏTRUE๐Ÿ’ฏ Daddy's or else you'll ๐Ÿšซnever๐Ÿšซ get any cummies๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ again ๐Ÿ˜ฆ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜Žโ€ผ๏ธ

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:08 UTC

There's literally nothing wrong with this, we've got to be more accepting man, it's 2016 for Hillary's sake. I would suggest not being so ignorant and xenophobic, this unwarranted vile nature is an absolute pitiful display of zealous and pedantic racism against people who have done nothing wrong are were a major stepping stone in the history of mankind, they are the past, Egyptians, Colonials, adventurers and now they're the future Americans.

Our time is up, you have blood on your hands, all of us white Americans do, it's time to correct the record and let the true master race have their time. Your pathetic and desperate attempts to cling to your mediums is laughable, DICE have done the correct thing and pandered to the TRUE demographic of intelligent gamers. It's like what they say, life has a liberal bias. Now get informed, I'm a moderator at r/Racism and r/Gamerghazi and welcome you with open arms.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:11 UTC

One day while Andy was masturbating, Woody got wood. He could no longer help himself! He watched as Andy stroked his juicy kawaii cock. He approached Andy which startled him and make him pee everywhere on the floor and on Woody too. Being drenched in his urine made him harder than ever! Woody: "Andy Senpai! I'm alive and I want to be INSIDE OF YOU." Andy: "Oh Woody Chan! I always knew you were alive! I want to stuff you up my kawaii ass!" Woody grabbed a bunch of flavored lube and rubbed it all over his head Woody: "Oh my! It's cherry flavored lube! Cherry is my favorite! Woody then stuffed his head up into Andy's tight ass! The other toys around the room watched intently as Woody shoved his head back and forth into Andy's nice ass, continuously making a squishy wet noise. The other toys also became aroused and they all gathered around Woody and Andy and started to urinate all over them, and then they started to masturbate. Andy: "Oh my goodness, Woody Chan! You are churning my insides up so well! Your nose is stimulating my prostate! OH YES! All the other toys became so aroused by this, that they could not help themselves anymore! They pushed Woody completely inside, and they all went inside. All of them wanted to be inside Andy's nice round ass. Andy: "No wait guys! My ass cannot hold this much! I'm getting so full! All the toys went inside of poor squirming Andy and pretty much, he was beyond full, and died from having his insides completely damaged. The mother came inside and found Andy, dead with a huge ass hemorrhage on his anus, with a HUGE belly full of toys.

I don't understand why a person could think that another man deserves death because he loves men. Who cares if he likes to take it up the ass? Who cares who he kisses? It honestly doesn't matter, it's just love. Love is love. You can't control what you love. Who honestly gives a shit that he sticks his penis in a male butthole?

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:14 UTC

The amount of homophobia in the comments is alarming. We need to educate those who believe that sexual orientation is something you can & should control and teach them that actually, it isn't.

Your religion is just that; yours. A gay persons life is just that; theirs. No one else's. No one has the right to tell anyone how they should live their life because it isn't anyone elses business.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:17 UTC

How would you feel if someone told you that having the eye colour you have is disgusting and that you should change it? I'm pretty sure you would feel frustrated given that changing ones eye colour is an impossible task.

It's time for people to understand that sexual orientation is something that people cannot choose (nor should they have to), just like eye colour.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:20 UTC

Accepting people in all walks of life with love, acceptance and respect does not mean that you are any less of a Christian. It means that you are able to open your heart with empathy and love, which is basic human nature.

Whether you agree with gay pride or not, at least try to show the lgbt community the love and respect they deserve as human beings.Try to understand how scary it must have been for these people to come out in a world in which their community is treated like a disease. Understand the courage it must have taken these people to accept and love who they are when they are constantly having to deal with people telling them that they should hate what they naturally are.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:22 UTC

All you need to know is that they are human beings with rights and feelings. You do not get to tell them how to live their lives.

We are equal.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:33 UTC

My mother was a well-known prostitute back in her prime, but she quit when she found out she was pregnant with me. I hold her in extremely high regard and I believe she sets the standard for mothers everywhere. The only thing she was reluctant to give me was information about my father โ€“ a topic she absolutely refused to comment on. As a high-profile hooker, she had been rolling with quite a few influential people โ€“ and for a long time I fantasized myself a child of an oil merchant or a Fortune 500 CEO who would drive by our flat one day in his Porsche and take us away for a fancy meal or weekend or something before dumping us back where we belonged because from a young age Iโ€™ve been a realist and I knew that it was impossible for any sane rich person to care about the poor. When I was in middle school, and just starting to learn about sex, my mother suddenly became very comfortable with nudity around the house, and she would often strut around our flat wearing nothing but a pair of socks. I think this is because she had some suspicions that I was a closeted homosexual (as a devout Christian she obviously viewed this as an unnatural abomination) and so she tried very hard to invoke some sort of interest for the female body in me (which is a very noble, self-sacrificing act). But the first time I saw her in the nude I was so stricken with fear that I sprung a boner (which always happens when I become terrified) and collapsed on the floor, where I began to convulse.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:34 UTC

At the time my social studies class was covering a unit on the Holocaust, and in a bit of zealous interest (which is rare for me) I had researched quite a bit on the Fuhrer โ€“ and read a few articles on how he was not, in fact, dead, but was instead gallivanting all over America (where he had successfully escaped to). Thus when I saw his iconic moustache branded on my mothers crotch my little mind broke. After all, Higgins sounds remarkably like an Anglicized bastardization of Hitler, so it did not take much more evidence to convince myself that he had fathered me. It took me many years of therapy and counseling to rid myself of my panic attacks, and this was not helped by the fact that my mother never told me I was wrong in my conviction.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:38 UTC

I'm too smart. People call me an insufferable know-it-all but I'm just too smart. I'm smarter than everyone on this board and I failed Grade Three twice because society hates smart people like me. How do I get less smart so I can conform and finally finish highschool. I'm 20 and I'm still in fucking grade nine. I know I'm smart but I pretend not to be so I can impress ladies when they see how smart I am. I'm too damn smart and I don't know what to do.

Years ago there was a story I read. In it, Harry was teaching at Hogwarts as an adult, years after Voldemort's defeat. Now this before the seventh book even came out, so you can guess how long ago this wasm but I have no clue when it was actually uploaded. I cannot find ANYTHING about it.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:41 UTC

I remember Madame Rosmerta (I think it was her), and a mention of the three broomsticks. Only here's the kicker! She had to work there to satisfy the three broomsticks, which were actually magically enchanted to be penises. nd they were also gay. If she did not take it in the ass and get an anal creampie from each of them,... something would happen, and better her than a man.

With each broomstick being gay, for some reason Harry had sex with her instead. I THINK the story was called 'Harry Potter and the Anal Creampie', but I can't for the life of me find anything similar to that. I first came across the story in early 2007, before Deathly Hallows came out.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:44 UTC

Bring your chin down to protect your neck while continuing to stare into his eyes. Bring up your hands and say "I don't want no trouble ya hear". Flex your traps and core. Slightly bend your knees.

Here comes the important part. In a low voice begin to say "wolowolowolowolowolo" slowly increasing in volume, he should be surprised by now. Begin to sway side to side and loosen all facial muscles and your anal sphicter and your kegal muscle. By now you should be pretty loud and your opponent will have stepped back and will appear visibly shaken.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:47 UTC

Begin to piss and shit yourself and let your eyes roll into the back of your head. By now you are chanting "WOLOWOLOWOLOWOLO" at the top of your lungs. He will run away. Everyone within a one mile radius will feel a terrifying precence within their soul.

Marvel as you ascend into your planar form.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:50 UTC

Okay so I wasn't here yesterday so I'd like to take today to fire off my giant ass rant.

Not at America in general, more than half of you were not on boards with this, bot at the Republicans (at least not yet) not even at Trump voters. They wanted Trump for whatever their reasons and they got him.

I want to yell at Democrats.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:52 UTC

What. The f**k. Went wrong? HOW could you lose to DONALD TRUMP?! A man with no political experience, a man whose business dealings, his only real claim to competence are either failures, frauds or were built up by his daddy.
A man who openly expressed admiration for dictators on tape ? A man who once tweeted at 3 A.M for people to check out a sex tape (WHICH DIDN'T EVEN EXIST) A man with a ready history of extra-marital affairs who was caught on tape bragging about sneaking a peek at changing beauty contestants. A man who tried to woo Latinos by buying a taco. A man who can't even LIE properly .

You could have put an empty chair up against him and won. You could have run on the "You know maybe the whole 'President' thing is a a waste of money" platform and STILL won!

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:55 UTC

Trump had all 5 people on this planet who've had his job say he was unfit. Including the Bushes. He had the last two Repub nominees tell people to vote for Clinton. He lost Fox News. He lost O'REILY. You had everybody with any influence in the public sphere railing against him.

How? HOW?!

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:45:58 UTC

Now I know what you're thinking, it was the media, it was the third party voters etc etc.

No, it was you.

You failed to win against the weakest candidate ever. A mna accused of everything from stiffing Joe the Plumber to sexual assault .

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:04 UTC

You failed to give the people a candidate they felt they could rally behind, you failed reach out to the votes you needed you failed to address legitimate concerns in favor of calling people idiots and bigots. It's telling tha the site I've seen take the most in depth look at why people were actually supporting Trump was THIS one. Even when you did it was always just the set up to another zinger, "Aaaand that's why your complaints are pointless racist, so just admit you hate brown people". In the last 8 years you grew complacent and arrogant and it has cost you.

Now I'm saying this just to be a dick, I'm saying it because you can't afford self pity. I'm saying it because you need to own up to your faults. You need to figure out where you went wrong and fix it, and don't say you didn't because you clearly have.

So go home clean yourselves up, don't give in to crazy panic don't even think about talking of revolt even as a joke and figure out what to do. And I address this to all liberals, from everyone to the Dems President to the lowliest blogger. If you are someone who's ever taken it upon themselves to be an activist now is the time for serious self reflection because you have a huge responsibility to bear

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:26 UTC

OI M88


DIGGERYDOOS HUH M8?


EHEHEHEH MAAAATEE GOOD ON YA MATE

G'DAY m8

WE SHITPOSTIN NOW M8?

OOGA OGOOGA BO OGGAOGAOGOAOGOWAOHWHOGHOAOGOWHAOHWHOAHWOGHOWHGOAWHOAHOHOOGHOHBOBHOWHAOWHOBHOHOWAHWOHBOAHOWHWOHBOHAOWHOAHO
OBOHAWoHA

ohah*toss boomerang*

WEEEEEEEEEEE POOPIES HAHAH GOOD m8 POOP HEHHEHEH POOOOOOOOP NOO PLS LEBS XDD POOP OAWOHOBOOOWHOBOWAOHO *more diggerydoo noises and grunts OOAWHOHOGHOWHOAHWOWHOOOOOOOOOOOAHWOGOWOHAOWH

WEEEEEE WUZZZZZZZZZZ VEGIMITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AHHAEHUHAEUHEUAHU ching chong?

POO PEE LAND STOP! NO IT HURTS DESU~~

OAHEOHEOHWAOHOHOHWOAOWHO *throws boomerang* LOL HAHHA LEAF? LEAF? EASTER?? POO IN LOO? POOPIE FOR ROOPIE? OUWOUOUBOUOBUOUGO FUGGIN BOGANS m8, FUCKING PETROL HOOFTAH M8 FLAMIN GALAH M8 SICK CUNT [40mb] UOWAOWOHOBHOWAHOWHOAHOBOWHOAHWO AUSTRALIAN TOURIESTS BTFO IN MEXICO HAHAHAHHA

>Be australian
>get heat stroke in santa suit

AHAHHAHHAHAHHA OLDE LEL!

GOLDEN LELIES! HEHEH GOLDEN LELIES! LOL GOLDEN LEL! AYY LMAO BENIS BENIS BENIS WE WUZ ABBOFALIANS WEEEEEEEE ANZACKS NOW AUSNZ LOL BENIS DID U KNOOOo TASMANIA IS POOPIE?

HEUAHEUHEU LE MELBOURNE xD

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:30 UTC

Oooh!! Umbreon pee pee! Squeak squeak tinkle pretty pee pee ooh warm pisss footpaws pad and splish and smell of his pee pee while he spurts and warm golden tinkle flows down and smells up his pee paws OH and his anus puckers while his little balls twitch as his pee pee churns and bursts between his legs and the very tip of his urethra splishes and squirts and twitches with his warm bladder full of pee pee, he squishes his cock in desperation as his paws soaked with tinkle twitch and his balls pressed together and he aims his pee pee tinkle cock between his legs, making his thighs wet and stinky with warm hot tinkle pee as he rubs and splashes and his toes stink of wet pee fur ooohh tinkle pee pee soooo baaadd!

He needs a diaper!! Diaper diapee pampee diap comforting pee pee diaper for him to tinkle in and rest his pee cock and press the tip against the soft insides of the warm diaper and squirt spurt warm yellow and twitch his balls inside OOhh anon! He needs a diapee diaper! Anon he needs a pamper pampee diaperrr!!!

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:33 UTC

stinky smelly mukky farts.

sniff sniff the mukky farts.

it stinky so good the mukky farts.

spray that gas out your mukky ass

aim at my face that mukky mace

oh yes it stink so good

that mukky poopy dust up my nose

the purple fart cloud rains down purple fart drops, down down it goes

my mouth open wide ready to catch them on my tongue

drink the mukky farts is so fun!

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:36 UTC

His palms are sweaty, life's bleak, child is heavy
There's a sniper aimed at him already, mom's upsetti
park service, they're nervous but look calm and ready
To embalm, but they keep on regretting'
What they shot down, the internet grows so loud
they open their mouth, but the memes Wont stop now
provoking', how, everybody's revolting' now
Dicks are out, Harambe's down, over, blaow!

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:39 UTC

If the shitpost starts discussion on the topic and I post something related to the topic even if the topic stemmed from shitposting, is it still shitposting?
Remember, this is like the heat death of the universe. The shitposts are the entropy and we are the universe. In the end, the shitposts will overcome the expansion of us and will destroy all. Just like entropy, shitposts cannot be destroyed nor contained

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:42 UTC

This is not a joke. My favorite niece found your post - it ruined the internet for her, even made her a bit depressed and ashamed for awhile for even reading it. She has early signs of depression, her mother died of heart failure when she was only 7 years old. This place? She liked it.... because so many of the posters reminded her of her mother.... who was also like a sister to me....

....You WILL pay for this, you sanctimonious jaded smug piece of shit. Y'know why? Because my older brother, the father of the girl who you hurt with your cancerous scorn, is INFINITELY more pissed at you than I am. He's an old fashioned soldier. 6.5 feet, about 300 pounds, ex-navy, doesn't go online much, doesn't have profiles, but he knows a few very good programmers he goes to sometimes when his kids run into 'trouble' online.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:45 UTC

He's the type who only knows one thing, something you millennials don't: how to get shit DONE. Not much gets under his skin really, you can call him any name under the sun, even strike him and he won't hit back (high pain tolerance)... but you fuck with his little girl and he becomes a totally different man, a VERY dangerous and reckless man. Even if I, his own little brother, were to hurt his daughter emotionally, even on accident...he'd break me like a damn twig without a second thought, quite easily too and I'm NOT a small guy. I can't tell you my bro's fighting 'technique' because it seems to be a sort of blend and I'm no pro, but I've NEVER seen anyone, even bigger guys, last more than 5 seconds against him before they were on the floor in tears, screaming for mercy, with at least one or two body parts broken and/or bleeding.

After he consoled his crying daughter about a week ago, he informed me of what happened. Unlike him, I use words to express my anger, words you've see quite a bit I'm sure- since I'm about 50-60% as pissed as my brother.
Being pissed over my niece's sadness that you helped cause, I helped my bro find your post and he gave me a look that almost gave me a heart attack (it was his eyes more than anything) and calmly said "Daniel, I'm sorry...but we'll have to cancel the turkey shoot. I have work to do." And he immediately started calling some old contacts...when he calls me 'Daniel' I know shit just got real.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:52 UTC

I honestly can't tell you what my brother will do when he finds you, and he WILL find you. He's the 'creative type' offline and while not a professional interrogator, he got some enemy combatants to talk during his tours and picked up some tricks on dealing VERY high volumes of pain to someone without leaving marks. I seriously ALMOST feel bad for what awaits you.


I

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:52 UTC

listened as they called my President a Muslim. I listened as they called him and his family a pack of monkeys. I listened as they said he wasn't born here. I watched as they blocked every single path to progress that they could. I saw the pictures of him as Hitler. I watched them shut down the government and hurt the entire nation twice. I watched them turn their backs on every opportunity to open worthwhile dialogue. I watched them say that they would not even listen to any choice for Supreme Court no matter who the nominee was. I listened as they openly said that they will oppose him at every turn. I watched as they did just that. I listened. I watched. I paid attention. Now, I'm being called on to be tolerant. To move forward. To denounce protesters. To "Get over it." To accept this... I will not. I will do my part to make sure this great American mistake becomes the embarrassing footnote of our history that it deserves to be. I will do this as quickly as possible every chance I get. I will do my part to limit the damage that this man can do to my country. I will watch his every move and point out every single mistake and misdeed in a loud and proud voice. I will let you know in a loud voice every time this man backs away from a promise he made to them. Them. The people who voted for him. The ones who sold their souls and prayed for him to win. I will do this so that they never forget. And they will hear me. They will see it in my eyes when I look at them. They will hear it in my voice when I talk to them. They will know that I know who they are. They will know that I know what they are. Do not call for my tolerance. I've tolerated all I can. Now it's their turn to tolerate ridicule. Be aware, make no mistake about it, every single thing that goes wrong in our country from this day forward is now Trump's fault just as much as they thought it was Obama's. I find it unreasonable for them to expect from me what they were entirely unwilling to give.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:56 UTC

Tracer felt like her insides had been scooped out through her pussy. Sure, her GF liked to peg her with black strap-ons, but the Nazi's throbbing 1 footer hollowed her out like a pumpkin. She could feel the grinding of her broken ribs with every breath she tried to take, any time she attempted to move her shattered body refused sending insurmountable pain through her very soul. She laid on the cold pavement, tears rolling down her cold cheeks. She didn't know what was worse; someone she once trusted with her life had destroyed her mentally and physically, or that there won't be anything left of her for friends or family to find. Reinhardt made sure to it that there wouldn't be any evidence left. With her chronal accelerator destroyed, it was only a matter of hours until she once again was lost to time itself, and all who had known her. Her silent tears turned to loud wailing sobs that fell upon deaf ears. Once she realized she was truly on her own she turned to her only source of peace, religion. She asked, begged the iris to take her away from the shame and pain she was enduring, but once again, her pleas went unheard. A once proud, beautiful, budding young woman in the prime of her life, beaten down to nothing more than a bleeding, broken rape victim, crying behind some disgusting alley. As time dragged on and her throat became dry, she could feel herself become disassociated with the now, with a final, powerful scream strong enough to break the heavens, she called to Winston, her girlfriend, the iris, anyone and anything to keep her from drifting off into the hell that is time disassociation.

Once again, she went unheard. And soon enough all that was left of the great Tracer, was a pool of pussy blood.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:46:59 UTC

Her eyes are green and cute!

I love Zelda! She's the cutest and the best! The best ever! A cute princess Zelda! Yes! She's very cute and very feminine! She sounds like a proper lady and a proper princess! Very cute! She even knows how to cry! Cries like a princess in english! Not a robot! Doesn't cry like a baby! Ladylike! Dresses like a princess! Very modest! Cute turtleneck! Cutie patootie! Cute hairclips! Knows how to accessorize! Fashionable! Fingerless gloves for warmth and dexterity! Plans ahead! Not short sighted! Holds the triforce of wisdom! Smartypants! Yes! Cute with brains! Brains behind her forehead! Cute forehead! Cute eyebrows! Pointy ears! Cute pointy ears! Cute golden hair! Cute hairstyle! She is very lovely! I love her!!!!!

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:47:01 UTC

I like to masturbate imagining female soldiers being shot and killed in combat. Like imagining a pretty young woman in her combat gear crouching in a grimy alleyways with fear in her eyes before the enemy rush around the corner and she shoots one but the others shoot back and hit her, their bullets ripping into her soft innocent flesh and making her slump against the wall, whimpering in pain, her tears streaming her grimy cheeks as she thinks about her family as she bleeds to death, how she did this for them and how she will never see then again. She's so young and innocent and had her whole life ahead of her but now she is going to die here alone and forgotten. I get off imagining her pain and absolute misery and helplessness in the face of death. I am rubbing my dick against the bottom of my desk just writing this.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:47:05 UTC

BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF

Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:47:11 UTC

Oh I was not expecting thatโ€ฆthat little gust my dearโ€ฆ.you caught me off guardโ€ฆyesโ€ฆso gentle it was thoughโ€ฆhmmmmโ€ฆlet me taste this little oneโ€ฆjust one small sniffโ€ฆ..sniffโ€ฆahโ€ฆ.ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffffโ€ฆand yetโ€ฆso strongโ€ฆyesโ€ฆthe odorโ€ฆ.sniff sniffโ€ฆhmmmโ€ฆ.is thatโ€ฆ.sniffโ€ฆ.hmmmโ€ฆ.I can almost taste it my dearโ€ฆ..yesโ€ฆ.justโ€ฆsniffโ€ฆ.a little whiff more if you pleaseโ€ฆ..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffโ€ฆah yes I have it nowโ€ฆ.yes quiteโ€ฆ.hhhhmmmmโ€ฆdelectable my dearโ€ฆ..quite exquisite yesโ€ฆ..I dare sayโ€ฆsniffโ€ฆ.the most pungent one yet my dearโ€ฆ.ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffffโ€ฆ.yesโ€ฆ

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:47:11 UTC

Youโ€™re always gonna have problems lifting a body โšฐ๏ธ in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ– and pile it all together. โ€ฆ And when you got your six pieces ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ–, you gotta get rid of them ๐Ÿ˜‚, because itโ€™s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum ๐Ÿ‘ฉ to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs ๐Ÿท. You got to starve the pigs ๐Ÿท for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ. You gotta shave the heads of your victims ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggiesโ€™ digestion ๐Ÿ˜Š. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you donโ€™t want to go sievinโ€™ through pig shit ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ’ฉ, now do you ๐Ÿ’ฉ? They will go through bone like butter ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹. You need at least sixteen pigs ๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท๐Ÿท to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm ๐Ÿ˜Š. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ‘Œ. That means that a single pig ๐Ÿท can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, โ€œas greedy as a pigโ€ ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ–.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:47:29 UTC

The Elite are all about transcendence and living forever and the secrets of the universe and they want to know all this; some are good, some are bad, some are mixed. But, the good ones donโ€™t ever want to organise, the bad instead are the ones that organise, because they lust after power. Powerful consciences donโ€™t want to dominate other people, they want to empower them, so they donโ€™t tend to get together until things are really late in the game, then they come together. Evil is always defeated, because good is so much stronger. And, weโ€™re on this planet and Einsteinโ€™s physics showed it, Maxwellโ€™s physics showed it, all of it, that there is at least twelve dimensions, and now thatโ€™s why all the top scientist and billionaires are coming out saying itโ€™s a false hologram, it is artificial. The computers are scanning it and finding tensions points where it is artificially projected and gravity is bleeding in to this universe, thatโ€™s what they call dark matter. So, weโ€™re like a thought or a dream thatโ€™s like a wisp in some computer program, some godโ€™s mind, whatever. Theyโ€™re proving it all, itโ€™s all coming out.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:47:30 UTC

Now, thereโ€™s like this sub transmission zone below the third dimension thatโ€™s just turned over the most horrible things, which is what it resonates to, and itโ€™s trying to get up into the third dimension, thatโ€™s just a basic level consciousness to launch into the next levels. And our species is already way up to the fifth, sixth dimension consciously, our best people. But there is this big war trying to like, basically destroy humanity, because humanity has free will, and there is a decision to which level we want to go to. We have free will, so evils will have to contend, not just good. And the Elites themselves believe theyโ€™re racing, using human technology to try to take our best minds, and build some type of breakaway civilization where theyโ€™re going to merge with machines, transcend and break away from the failed species that is man, which is kind of like a false transmission because theyโ€™re thinking what they are as ugly and bad, projecting on to themselves instead of believing, no itโ€™s a human test about building us up, and so, Google set up eighteen, nineteen years ago. I knew about this before it was declassified, Iโ€™m just saying I have good sources.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:47:39 UTC

They want to build a giant artificial system, and Google believes the first artificial intelligence will be a supercomputer based on the neuron activities of the hive mind of humanity with billions of people wired into the internet exchange (holy shit), and so all of our thoughts go into it, and weโ€™re actually building a computer that has real neurons in real time thatโ€™s also psychically connected to us, that are organic creatures so that they will have current prediction powers, future prediction powers, a true crystal ball. But the big secret is, once you have a crystal ball and know the future, you can add stimuli beforehand and make decisions that can control the future. And so then, itโ€™s the end of consciousness and freewill for individuals as we know, and a true two-point-o, in a very bad way, hive mind consciousness with an A.I jacked into everyone, knowing our hopes and dreams, delivering it to us, not in some PKD wire head system, where we plug in and give up our consciousness because of unlimited pleasure, but because we were already wired in and absorbed before we knew it by giving over our consciousness to this system our daily decisions that it was able to manipulate and control into a larger system. Thereโ€™s now a human counterstrike taking place to shut this up before it gets fully into place and to block these systems, and to try and have an actual debate about where humanity goes, and cut off the paedophiles and psychic vampires that are controlling this A.I system before humanity is destroyed.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:47:40 UTC

The paedophiles, at whatever level, they rule the devil, whatever you want to call, this interdimensional thing, which gives them advanced off world technology, the fallen one, thatโ€™s out of this world, is giving them advanced knowledge on how to construct these systems that have already been used before on other populations. Thatโ€™s Satan. Satan became something, that you know, the stupid preacher tells you about, whoโ€™s totally controlled or something you read about in the news or TV, but this is an interdimensional force that wants to influence us to build something that absorbs us and kills us, rather than the divine free will we are given to build something much better and empowers the species so the species is now making a decision about its entire future. I know from looking at all the data, researching it, studying it, watching the enemy, that's the big decision that humanity now has before us.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:47:43 UTC

I know that this is going to sound incredibly autistic, but I cannot function in social settings unless I imagine myself as a big guy. No, I don't go around saying "for you" or move like a big guy or anything. I just feel myself with the overall demeanor of the big guys. I can pass off as a normie well with this.

I choose big guys that already compliment my personality. My main 3 are Dr. Pavel (When I'm feeling quiet but confident), CIA (When I'm feeling a bit smug/cocky) and Bane (When I'm feeling a bit edgy). I also have a rotating list of big guys that I can use. I've done Smee, Maiman, Button-lee, Masketta Man, Juan Ovyu, Brother, etc...

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:47:46 UTC

But my problem is, I have a Christmas party with my co-workers tonight, and I'm not sure which big guy I should be. I want to be a bit more outgoing and talkative than usual, but not TOO much. I had a bad experience with Ahyred Gunn this spring, when I got a bit TOO confident, so I don't want to use him. I'd like to try a big guy listed on the flight plan, but I'm not sure which once. I like SIR?, but I feel like he would make me come across as an autist. I was actually thinking about Dr. Pavel, but not saying anything him a bit.

Do you guys have any ideas for a big guy that would be sociable and confident, but not too much so?

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:47:53 UTC

Haha, my friend you are quite mistaken. Your impressions of the scene are that of the unintelligent and common man. I have analysed the opening scene of TDKR for over 10,000 hours, every nuance of the scene is well documented in my mind and I know, full well, the true meaning of this masterwork of cinema. I will outline it concisely and briefly for you now:

>Bane: "No one cared who I was until I put on the mask."

By this Bane means that he was a nobody until he took on the persona of Bane, the reputation that surrounds him is what has made him infamous. The "mask" is not the respiratory device that pumps him full of painkillers, the mask is his image as a dangerous individual known the world over for his exploits. From this we can draw parallels with Bruce Wayne and Batman, the mask is an important theme throughout.

>CIA: If I pull that off will you die?

If I remove the mask, if I expose you as nothing more than a man will it destroy the essence of what you are?

>Bane: "It would be extremely painful."

It would be a traumatic experience to abandon what I am, an existential crisis of sorts that would be difficult to recover from.

>CIA: You're a big guy.

You're an important person, your reputation is large and your deeds are noteworthy.

>Bane: For you.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:47:56 UTC

For you I am an important person, you are an agent of the CIA who has been actively hunting me. Our importance to somebody, our stature, our largeness is defined by the effect we have on them. To the average person Bane is not a "big guy", but to this agent he is large indeed.

The Japanese ethos was warped forever by the atomic bomb attacks during WWII. Millions of Japanese men, women, and children were forced to come to terms with the idea of an overwhelmingly powerful entity outside of their control that could wipe them out of existence without warning using unspeakable weapons. They did this, for the most part, by exploring the idea in fiction. Godzilla is one example. Anime is another. If the United States of America were to deploy nuclear weaponry against Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, and France, chances are the same thing would happen again: More Godzillas, and more anime. Do you think the world can really handle six animes? In the 1980's, United States President Ronald Reagan developed an idea known as "Mutually-Assured Destruction" (MAD). This philosophy stated that war with Russia would not happen, because there was no way to wage it without both countries being destroyed. I see this same situation today. We cannot nuke more countries for fear of mutually assured destruction when they create more anime. Thank you for your time.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:48:16 UTC

Hi every1 im new here in my garage with my new LAMBORGHINI!!!!!!! holds up๏ธ spork What the fuck did you just ๏ฟฝfucking say about me, you little good shit you little good shit you little good shit? shut you the FUCK UP F*GGOT teleports around and shoots beams at you Iโ€™ll have you know I graduated of my class in the Navy Seals๏ธ๏ธ, and Iโ€™ve been involved in numerous secret RAIDS on Al-Quaeda, and I have over confirmed bookshelves. thats ๏ธ some impressiveshit rightth ere right๏ธthere (chorus: สณแถฆแตสฐแต— แต—สฐแต‰สณแต‰) isn't it? has anyone really been far even as decided use even go want to do look more like๏ธup here in the HOLLYWOODHILLS? I am trained in gorilla warfare and Iโ€™m the sniper in the entire HOLLYWOODHILLS armedforces. my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF T41 LoP3Z๏ธ๏ธ๏ธ lolโ€ฆas u can see im very randomaterialistic๏ธ๏ธ You are NOTHING to me but just another fuel๏ธunit targetyou. I will wipe you the fuck out๏ธ with KNOWLEDGE the likes of which has never been seen b on this Earth, mark my fucking wrds. You think you can get away with saying that good๏ธshit me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. You! kicks you from behind Are! teleports in front of you and uppercuts you into the air Just! flies into the air with flaming spiral uppercut A STUPID TROLL! As we speak I am contacting my SECRET network of MENTORS across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare 4 the ๏ธstorm๏ธ, maggot.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:48:22 UTC

The ๏ธstorm๏ธ that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youโ€™re fucking dead, kid. thats why i came here, 2kill random ppl on the internetz โ€ฆ im years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) I can be anywhere, anytime๏ธ, and I can kill you in over sevenways, and thatโ€™s just with my bare hands. i like 2 watch invaderzim w/ my lamborghini (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO ๏ปฟ๏ผฆ๏ผต๏ผฎ ๏ผด๏ผฏ ๏ผค๏ผฒ๏ผฉ๏ผถ๏ผฅ ๏ผต๏ผฐ ๏ผจ๏ผฅ๏ผฒ๏ผฅ ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฅ ๏ผจ๏ผฏ๏ผฌ๏ผฌ๏ผน๏ผท๏ผฏ๏ผฏ๏ผค ๏ผจ๏ผฉ๏ผฌ๏ผฌ๏ผณ!!!! shes random of course but i want meet more random ppl like they say the more the merrier!!!! hits you with flame uppercut and grabs your head and throws you down to the ground NOW DIE FAG!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^ heheโ€ฆtoodles!!!!! Garfield leans towards Jon. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed๏ธ combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal๏ธ๏ธ of the United States Marine๏ธ Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent๏ธ, you little good shit. Jon slowly sticks his hand into the pasta dish. As he lifts his warm hand out of the lasaga, he holds a large clump of pasta, sauce and cheese. He slowly brings the lasaga towards Garfield's mouth who ate all the lasaga. If only you could have known๏ธ what unholy retribution your little โ€œcleverโ€ comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnโ€™t, you didnโ€™t, and now youโ€™re ๏ธpaying the price, you goddamn idiot. crashes into you with meteor slam attack and kills you heh... another channer falls to me.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:48:25 UTC

I will shitbookshelves all over you and you will drown in it. Youโ€™re fucking dead, kiddo. "i ate those food" Garfield replies. Jon then inserts the lasaga into Garfield's mouth and proceeds to eat the rest of the stray lasaga in his hand. "this lasaga is great, Jon." Garfield says. Time for something a little different ๏ธ๏ธif i doโ€Šฦฝaาฏ soโ€‡my sel๏ฝ† i say so thats what im talking about ri๏ธght there Jon grabs another glob of lasaga. He reaches behind Garfield and slowly inserts the fuel unit into his anus. "do you like that you big fat cat?" Jon questions. Garfield purrs with joy. "thank you Jon for this wonderful time" Garfield says. At the entrance of the door to the kitchen, a silhouette of a dog appears. A quiet mumble is heard but inaudible for the man and feline to hear. "bOrf" the dog mumbled. mMMMMแŽทะœ ะO0ะžเฌ ๏ผฏOO๏ผฏOะžเฌ เฌ Ooooแต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’ love๏ธ and waffles and CUMMIES you little good shit,t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m Psssh, notting personnel, kid teleports away

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:48:32 UTC

Mechanical pencils. When I first started using a mechanical pencil, I realized it wouldn't wear down like my regular pencils did. Instead, I could use it indefinitely, and so in that time I grew attached to it. I even named her - Peggy. Eventually, however, I lost her, and so I found a new pencil.

Over time, I would continuously find more pencils abandoned on the ground, and bring them under my care. Each one of them given a distinct name and personality by me. Our relationship mirrored that of a child and their stuffed animals. But in this case, the pencils actually had practical purposes. I like to think of it as an orphanage for abandoned pencils. That is to say, I don't buy pencils; I take on abandoned pencils and give them a home and a purpose.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:48:42 UTC

My collection has grown quite large. In fact, I take a yearly photo of them to archive them. Here was this year's photo. From left to right, their names are: Amber, Fluorina, Tess, Lexi, Jan, Abby, Liliana, Crรจmula, Claudia, Melanova, Sabrina, Pre-Amber, Mabel, Lush, Hershey, Penelope, Maxwell, Kimberly, Elevena, Faye, Manilla, Nikhil, Brad, Doyle, Marlon, Conan, Casper, Aster, Chromium, Melvin, Nullen, Julian, Jake, Boyd.

Notable Facts:

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:48:46 UTC

Amber is my primary pencil. She wears a paperclip as an accessory (which would be like wearing a scarf or a headband).
Once I lost Liliana for 5 days. I found her in one of my binders, stuck between the pages.
I lost Bonnie, Lush, and Rosalie because I accidentally left them on the window sill of my previous dorm room.
Abby is my most empathetic pencil. If someone asks me for pencil lead, Abby always offers hers. Additionally, if someone asks to borrow a pencil, Abby volunteers.
I had a pencil named Rachel that none of the other pencils liked. I lent her out one time, and she was never returned. I was happy about that.
Crรจmula bit me once. When I initially found her, she had been abused and had trust issues. I was carrying her back in my pocket, and when I reached in, her point stabbed me and left a nasty wound on my palm. She's getting better.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:48:54 UTC

GREETINGS BATTLE BROTHERS I AM NEW. *HOLDS UP BOLTER* MY NAME IS SERGEANT ARGUS BUT YOU CAN CALL ME BATTLE BROTHER. AS YOU CAN SEE I AM VERY LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR. THAT IS WHY I HAVE COME HERE, TO MEET OTHER BATTLE BROTHERS WHO ARE LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR LIKE MYSELF. I AM 127 YEARS OF AGE ( PRAISE THE EMPEROR) I LIKE TO PURGE HERETICS AND XENO SCUM WITH MY BATTLE BROTHERS ( I LOVE MY BATTLE BROTHERS, IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THAT THEN DEAL WITH IT) IT IS OUR FAVORITE ACTIVITY BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR. ALL MY BATTLE BROTHERS ARE LOYAL TO THE EMPEROR TOO OF COURSE, BUT I WANT TO MEET MORE LOYAL SERVANTS OF THE EMPEROR. LIKE THE EMPEROR ONCE SAID, THE MORE THE MERRIER. I HOPE TO BOND WITH A LARGE AMOUNT OF LOYAL SERVANTS OF THE EMPEROR SO JOIN ME IN PRAISE OF THE EMPEROR. FAREWELL.

FOR THE EMPEROR!!!!!!!!! <--- ME PRAISING THE EMPEROR FAREWELL BROTHERS!!

PRAISE THE EMPEROR

- BATTLE BROTHER -

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:48:59 UTC

I legitimately want to stuff my penis in his nostril. I'm not even memeing or anything, this has been one of my fetishes for fucking ages and I haven't found an outlet to vent yet.


Noses are designed to be fucked. They self-lubricate, the hairs feel great on my foreskin, and the semen I blast in there actually clears up the sinuses because it has salt in it.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:49:03 UTC

I don't know where I'm going with this, but I just wanted to thank you for posting this image, since I found a new character to masturbate to.


I don't know about you but sewage pussy is the best kind of pussy. My signature move is to gag on the stench until I throw up all over her vaginal crease and rub it into her nasty clitoris. Then I insert my penile muscle into those sweet, sweet walls until my toes curl up and I ejaculate my thousands of little kiddy babies into her retched cooch cooch. After that I prefer for her to throw up on my little man and have her toothless mouth envelop my wrank stick. And that kids is how you cure insomnia

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:49:18 UTC

Anyone else find this scene really hot? When this alien farts at Jar Jar? The alien just looks so feminine and sexy, and the way it farts and turns to him to flaunt it. Like it's inviting him to get closer for the next one.

I first watched this movie when I was very young and I have masturbated to this scene so many times.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:49:34 UTC

This is me. Literally me. No other character can come close to relating to me like this. There is no way you can convince me this is not me. This character could not possibly be anymore me. Itโ€™s me, and nobody can convince me otherwise. If anyone approached me on the topic of this not possibly being me, then I immediately shut them down with overwhelming evidence that this character is me. This character is me, it is indisputable. Why anyone would try to argue that this character is not me is beyond me. If you held two pictures of me and this character side by side, youโ€™d see no difference. I can safely look at this character every day and say โ€œYup, thatโ€™s meโ€. I can practically see this character every time I look at myself in the mirror. I go outside and people stop me to comment how similar I look and act to this character. I chuckle softly as Iโ€™m assured everyday this character is me in every way. I can smile each time I get out of bed every morning knowing that Iโ€™ve found my identity with this character and I know my place in this world. Itโ€™s really quite funny how similar this character is to me, itโ€™s almost like weโ€™re identical twins. When I first saw this character, I had an existential crisis. What if this character was the real me and I was the fictional being. What if this character actual became aware of my existence? Did this character have the ability to become self aware itself?

You.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:49:38 UTC

Yes, you. The one screaming, "Islam is not a religion of peace!" and "Sadiq Khan lied to us!" and other slurs I dare not mention. Tread lightly.
You are one. We are hundreds, thousands. Millions. You aren't just IN the minority; you ARE the minority.
I don't feel awkward or anxious being a Muslim around others, and your words don't affect me. Many others, however, are coming out of their shells for the first time in their lives. This is the first time many are enjoying the beautiful world that has been gifted to us by Allah - and it IS beautiful. Incredibly so. DON'T ruin this for them. We Muslims may have our differences, but we will not hesitate to come to the aid of our fellow Athiests, especially against someone who so virulently slurs that which has brought us all together.
Don't take this the wrong way. I don't hate you. I don't fear you. I pity you.
I'm sorry that you feel this way towards us. I'm sorry that Islam is such a bane to your existence. And I'm sorry that you are missing out on such a wonderful religion. Mostly, though, I'm sorry that you feel the need to go around and publicly chastise and berate others. I'm sorry that, to ensure your own validity, you need to make others feel invalid. I'm sorry that your self-worth is so infinitesimally miniscule that you have to make others feel less-than-human, at least in your own denatured mind, just to feel whole. I am truly sorry that day-in and day-out you have to put up with your worthless, meaningless, Shakespearean tragedy of a life.
I ask you politely to cease your unnecessary cries for attention, and instead invite you to join our ranks. Stop being a Christian, convert to Islam, and breathe in the splendour and the amazement of your first mosque, and then, maybe, just maybe, you'll see what you've been so hopelessly searching for this whole time.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:49:44 UTC

I want to be lauren mayberry's little baby tampon boy. I want to turn into a little crying baby and then suck on her breasts. Her magic breast milk would turn me into a little baby tampon boy. She would stick me into her hoo-hoo and I would wait with anticipation spouting little baby goo-goo ga-gas waiting for her to bleed all over me. I want to feel her lauren mayberry blood inside my little goo-goo ga-ga baby tampon body. I want to absorb her hoo-hoo juices inside my little baby tampon boy body and goo-goo ga-ga like a little rolly-polly baby boy. It would be orgasmic to know i am one with her hoo-hoo Lauren Mayberry blood and I would giggle and goo-goo ga-ga and yelp with little baby boy excitement as I roll around in her Lauren Mayberry hoo-hoo and revel in her red juices, slurping them into my soft little baby tampon boy goo-goo ga-ga body. Then I want her to pull me out and squeeze and wring my little baby tampon boy body so that her lauren mayberry hoo-hoo blood and juices spill all over her lauren mayberry face. It would hurt and I would scream in pained goo-goo ga-gas as pain envelops my little baby tampon boy body until I reach full climax and turn back into grown human man.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:49:45 UTC

Lauren's so fucking cute and sweet. I'd treat her to some fancy restaurant, than take a long romantic walk with her, holding hands and talking about philosophy, art and dreams. Then I'd invite her to my home and ravage her hot ass for hours, and forcing my cock up her throat so she chocked on both the throbbing cock and her own rectal juice. I'd then proceed to cum on her cute innocent face. Then. as the ultimate love gift, I'd carry her in my arms to the tub and let my piss wash away the semen and last dignity from her. I'd wisper "I love you" and give her a tender smile, and cut her throat from ear to ear with a knife. Covered in her own warm blood, she'd look straight into my very soul, forgiving, understanding. A bubble from blood and saliva would burst between her lips, then she'd die. After some additional lovemaking, I'd stuff her into a bin bag. Three weeks later, some playing children will find her mutilated and desecrated body in the forest.

They will be scarred for life.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:49:57 UTC

To be fair, I did Nazi that coming. I came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'Merican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. Yes. I get this reference. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You must be a hit at parties. I like you.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:49:58 UTC

Doctors hate you! Instructions unclear. Dick caught in you magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed. Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. As a black man and as a gay man and as a woman, black people suck, gay people are gross and women are bitches. You must be new to Reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once, and it's almost as if Reddit is composed of millions of individuals with different opinions and outlooks. This stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. OP is a bundle of sticks, 2/10, would not bang, not with that attitude. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! I really sympathize with pedophiles, but that has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh. Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. I have the weirdest boner right now. OP will surely deliver, unless he's a cop, in which case he'll just shoot your dog.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:50:05 UTC

You are wrong, my friend. Us Leaves have mastered the art of the shitpost, infiltrating threads and derailing them when they are at their most vulnerable.

The very sight of our flag can cause an alt-right bigot to descend into a belligerent rage, unbeknownst to him that the reaction he gives is the one we crave and etch into our ethos.

We are run by an Islamic feminist who believes that you aren't supposed to kill enemies when at war, we bought a nuclear submarine and then had to give it to the U.S for free after NATO laughed us out of the G7 conference, it's illegal to disagree with transgenderism or migration as it's labelled as "hate speech," and our economy is so pathetically piss weak that China is effortlessly buying our country from underneath us.

We barely have a culture to call our own and our presence on a geopolitical scale is non-existent, and yet we have manipulated /pol/ into constantly screeching about it as if we mattered.

You fail to realize the art of the Leafpost, and that is your greatest weakness. Tell me, how many times have you angrily replied to a 'cucked' Leafposter? How many times have you participated in those endless "It's okay to fuck dogs!" threads made by a leaf?

Do not underestimate the leaf.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:50:12 UTC

I spend 5 hours masturbating before my prostate exams. I edge, and edge and edge, until a butterfly sneezing on my taint could bring me to orgasm. I tactfully shuffle my way down to the doctor's office and when he lubes up I nearly cum every time. But I've trained my keggle muscles enough to the point where I can hold in Mount Vesuvius' wrath. Then as soon as he puts the smallest bit of pressure on my prostate I unleash with the fury of a lion hunting its prey. As the room gets covered in my hot sticky juices the doctor looks on disgusted and leaves the room. I always go to a hospital far away from where I live to get it so that I don't have to go in for surgery under the doctor that I busted to. Best thing is we have free healthcare here, so the doctor gets me off and it's covered by taxpayers. That's my fetish.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:50:13 UTC

Look, when you realize how fake it all is; the football, the basketball, the Lady Gaga, the Justin Bieberโ€”you know, who gives you these carbon tax messages... They tell your kids they gotta love Justin Biebler, and then Biebler says "hand in your guns", "pass the Cyber Security Act", and "the police state is good", and then your children are turned into a mindless vassalsโ€”who now, they look up to some twit, instead of looking up to Thomas Jefferson, or looking up to Nikola Tesla, or looking up to Magellan; I mean, kids, Magellan is a lot COOLER than Justin Bieber! He circumnavigated with one ship the entire planet! He was killed by wild natives before they got back to Portugal! And when they got back there was only like eleven people alive of the two hundred and something crew and the entire ship was rotting down to the waterline! That's destiny! That's will! That's striving! That's being a trailblazer and explore! Going into space! Mathematics! Quantum mechanics! The secrets of the universe! It's all there! Life is fiery with its beauty! Its incredible detail! Tuning into it! They wanna shutter your mind, TALKING ABOUT JUSTIN BIEBER!!! IT'S PURE EVIL!!! They're taking your intellect, your soul, and giving you Michael Jordan and Bieber. Unlock your human potential! Defeat the globalists who wanna shutter your mind!โ€”Your doorways to perception!โ€”I wanna see you truly live! I wanna see you truly be who you are!!!

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:50:15 UTC

When I was 18... 18 years old, I saw for the first time in my life. I saw an image of clarity. I saw a comic strip, a three panel comic strip that, though simple as it seemed, changed me... changed my being, changed who I am... Made me who I am. Enlightened me...

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:50:19 UTC

The strip, Garfield, the comic strip was new... no more than maybe a month and a half since inception, since... since coming into existence, and there it was before me in print, I saw it: a comic strip... What was it called? Garfield.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:50:25 UTC

The story here is of a man, a plain man. He is Jon, but he is more than that... I will get to this later, but first let us say that he's Jon, a plain man. And then there is a cat... Garfield. This is the nature of the world, here. When I see the world, the politics, the future, the... the satellites in space, and... the people who put them there. You can look at everything as a man and a cat... two beings, in harmony and at war.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:50:27 UTC

So, this strip I saw; this man, Jon, and the cat, Garfield, you see...Yes... hmm...It is about everything. This little comic is, oh, lo and behold... not so little anymore. So yes, when I was 18, I saw this comic and it hit me all at once, its power. I clipped it, and every day, I looked at it, and I said "Okay... let me look at this here. What is this doing to me? Why is this so powerful?"

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:50:31 UTC

Jon Arbuckle, he sits here, legs crossed, comfortable in his home, and he reads his newspaper. The news of the world, perhaps... and then he extends his fingers lightly, delicately... he taps his fingers on an end table, and he feels for something. What is it? It is something he needs, but it is not there. And then he looks up, slightly cockeyed, and he thinks... His newspaper's in his lap now, and he thinks this: Now where could my pipe be?

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:50:35 UTC

This... I always come to this, because I was a young man. I'm older now, and I still don't have the secrets, the answers, so this question still rings true, Jon looks up and he thinks... Now where could my pipe be?
And then it happens. You see it, you see... it's almost like divine intervention, suddenly it is there, and it overpowers you. A cat is smoking a pipe. It is the man's pipe, it's Jon's pipe, but the cat, this cat, Garfield, is smoking the pipe... and from afar, and someplace near, but not clear... near but not clear... The man calls out... Jon calls out, he is shocked. "Garfield!" he shouts.

Garfield. The cat's name.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:50:38 UTC

But, let's take a step back... let us examine this from all sides, all perspectives... and when I first came across this comic strip, I was at my father's house... a newspaper had arrived, and I picked it up for him, and brought it inside. I organized its sections for him and then, yes, the comic strip section fell out from somewhere in the middle, and landed on the kitchen floor... I picked up the paper pages and saw, up somewhere near the top of this strip... just like Jon, I was wearing an aquamarine shirt. So I thought, "Ah, interesting. I'll have to see this later." I snipped out the little comic, and held on to it... and five days later, I reexamined it... and it gripped me, I needed to find out more about this. The information I had was minimal, but enough. An orange cat named Garfield... Okay, that seemed to be the lynchpin of this whole operation, yes. Another clue... a signature in the bottom right corner, a man's name...Jim Davis.

Yes, I'm on to it for sure.
So... one: Garfield, orange cat, and two: Jim Davis, the creator of this cat. And that curiously plain man. I did not know, at the time, that his name was Jon. This strip, you see, had no mention of this man's name, and I'd never seen it before. But I had these clues; Jim Davis, Garfield. And then I saw more, I spotted the tiny copyright mark in the upper left corner. Copyright 1978 to... what is this? Copyright belongs to a... PAWS Incorporated.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:50:41 UTC

I use the local library and mail services to track down the information I was looking for. Jim Davis, a cartoonist, had created a comic strip about a cat, Garfield, and a man, Jon Arbuckle. Well, from that point on, I made sure I read the Garfield comic strips, though as I read each one, as each day passed... the strips seemed to resonate with me less and less. I sent letters to PAWS Incorporated, long letters, pages upon pages... asking if Mister Jim Davis could somehow publish just the one comic, over and over again... "It would be meditative," I wrote, "the strength of that." Could you imagine? But... no response... The strips lost their power, and eventually I stopped reading, but... I did not want my perceptions diluted, so I vowed to read the pipe strip over and over again... That is what I call it, "The Pipe Strip."

The Pipe Strip.

Everything about it is perfect. I can only describe it as a miracle creation, something came together... the elements aligned... It is like the comets, the cosmic orchestra that is up there over your head... The immense, enormous void is working all for one thing, to tell you one thing. Gas and rock, and purity, and nothing. I will say this... When I see the pipe strip... and I mean every single time I look at the lines, the colors, the shapes that make up the three panel comic...

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:50:45 UTC

I see perfection.
Do I find perfection in many things? Some things, I would say... Some things are perfect... and this is one of them. I can look at the little tuft of hair on Jon Arbuckle's head... it is the perfect shade... The purple pipe in Garfield's mouth...
How could a mere mortal even MAKE this?

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:50:48 UTC

I have a theory, about Jim Davis.After copious research and, yes, of course, now we have the internet, and this information is all readily available, but... Jim Davis, he used his life experiences to influence his comic. Like I mentioned before, none of them seem to have the weight of the pipe strip. But you have to wonder about the man who is able to even, just once, create the perfect form, a literally flawless execution of art, brilliance! Just as in a ward. I think there is a spiritual element at work...

I've seen my share of bad times and... when you have something... Well, it's just... emotions, and neurons in your brain, but... something tells you that it's the truth... Truth's radiant light.

Garfield, the cat? Neurons in my brain, it's... it's harmony, you see? It... Jon and Garfield, it's truly harmony, like a... continuous, looping, everlasting harmony... The lavender chair, the brown end table, the salmon-colored wall, the fore's green carpeting, Garfield is hunched, perched... perhaps with the pipe stuck firmly between his jowls... His tail curls around. It's more than shapes too, because... I...

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:50:51 UTC

Okay, stay with me... I've done this experiment several times.

You take the strip. You trace only the basic elements. You can do anything, you can simplify the shapes down to just... blobs, just outlines, but it still makes sense. You can replace the blobs with magazine cutouts of other things, replace Jon Arbuckle with a car parked in a driveway sideways, cut that out of a magazine, stick it in. Replace him there in the second panel with a food processor. Okay, and then we put a picture of the planet in the third panel over Garfield...

It still works.
These are universal proportions. I don't know... how best to explain why it works, I've studied the pipe strip, and analyzed Jon and Garfield's proportions against several universal mathematical constants. E, Pi, the Golden Ratio, the Feigenbaum Constants, and so on... and it's surprising... scary even, how things align. You can take just... tiny pieces of the pipe strip, for instance, take Jon's elbow from the second panel... and take that, and project it back over Jon's entire shape in the second panel, and you'll see a near perfect Fibonacci sequence emerge. It's eerie to me... and it makes you wonder if you're in the presence of a deity, if there is some larger hand at work.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:50:55 UTC

There's no doubt in my mind that Jim Davis is a smart man. Jim Davis is capable of anything to me. He is remarkable, but this is so far beyond that, I think we might see that this work of art is revered and respected in years to come. Jim Davis is possibly a new master of the craft, a... a genius of the eye; they very well may say the same things about Jim Davis in five hundred years that we say about the great philosophical and artistic masters from centuries ago... Jim Davis is a modern day Socrates, or... Da Vinci... mixing both striking visual beauty with classical, daring, unheard-of intellect...

Look, he combines these things to make profoundly simple expressions. This strip is his masterpiece... The Pipe Strip is his masterpiece... and it is a masterpiece and a marvel.I often look at Garfield's particular pose, in this strip. He is poised, and statuesque... and his cat stare is reminiscent of the fiery gazes often found in religious iconography. But still, his eyes are playful, lying somewhere between the solemn father's expression in Rembrandt's "Return of the Prodigal Son," and the coy smirk of Da Vinci's "Saint John The Baptist".
His ears stick up, signifying a peaked readiness. It's as if he could, at any moment, pounce; he is, after all, a close relative and descendant of the mighty jungle cats of Africa that could leap after prey. You could see the power drawn into Garfield's hind quarters, powerful haunches indeed.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:50:58 UTC

The third panel.

And I'm just saying this now, this is just coming to me now... The third panel of the pipe strip is essentially a microcosm for the entire strip itself... All the power dynamics, the struggle for superiority, right? WHO has the pipe? WHERE is the pipe? All of that is drawn, built, layered into Garfield's iconic pose here. You can see it in the curl of his tail. Garfield's ear whiskers stick up, on end, the smoke billows, upward... drawing the eye upward... increasing the scope. I'm just... amazed... really, that after 33 years of reading, and analyzing the same comic strip, I'm able to find new dimensions. It's a testament to the work...

For six years, I delved into tobacco research, because... can a cat smoke? This is a metaphysical question... Yes, can any cat smoke? Do we know? Can just Garfield smoke? The research says no. Nicotine poisoning can kill animals, especially household pets. All it takes is the nicotine found in as little as a single cigarette. urely, Jon's pipe hold a substantial amount of tobacco, and it is true that pets living in the homes of smokers are nearly 25% more likely to develop some form of cancer... most likely due to secondhand smoke... but these are facts of smoking, its tolls on our world.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:51:02 UTC

But after visiting two tobacco processing plants in Virginia and the Phillip Morris cigarette manufacturing facility, I came no closer to cracking the meaning. I was looking for any insight. A detective of a homicide case has to look at every angle, so I'm always taking apart the pipe strip. I focused on every minutiae, every detail of this strip.
Jon Arbuckle's clothing... I have replicas. I'm an expert in textiles... so, you see, this smoking thing was a hang-up for me... but it was the statement here... until...

This is key, this is the breakthrough. The pipe is not a pipe, really.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:51:05 UTC

Obviously there is symbolism at work here... I saw that from the beginning, and I looked at the literal aspects of the strip to gain insight into the metaphors at play. I worked at a newspaper printing press for eighteen months, in the late 1980's. I was learning the literal to inform the gestural the subliteral, the in-between...

Jon reading this newspaper means so much more than just Jon reading the newspaper but how could you ever hope to decipher the puzzle without knowing everything there is to know about newspapers?! Okay... for example... Jon holds his newspaper up with his left hand, thumb gripping the interior. I learned that this particular grip here was the newspaper grip of nineteenth century aristocrats... and this aristocrat grip was a point of contention that influenced the decision to move forward with prohibition... in the United States, in the early twentieth century!

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:51:08 UTC

So Jon's hand position is much more than that, it... it is a comment on class war... and the resulting reactionary culture... but I didn't know about the aristocratic newspaper grip until I came across some microfiche archives at the printing press. It's about information. You have to take it apart.and the breakthrough on the smoking cat came late... just eight years ago, actually. "Smoking cat" is an industry term. It's what the smoking industry calls a tattletale teenager who tells on his friends after they've all tried smoking for the first time and it is actually a foreign translation, bastardization of the term "smoking rat". But the phrase was confused when secret documents went back and forth between China and America.
These documents are still secret, and the only reason I know about the term is because I know a man, my friend. Let's call him "Timothy," yeah... yes, it's a fake name, for his protection. Timothy worked for Phillip Morris for sixteen years, and he had seen the documents... and when he told me, it was an Aha moment and he said, "But how? How could this cartoonist, Jim Davis, know about this obscure term from the mid-70's, used exclusively by a few cigarette companies!?"

This is still a mystery to me... but I connect the dots by noting Jim Davis' childhood experiences on a farm. He must have seen something. What could it be?

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:51:11 UTC

Timothy went on to tell me there was one particular smoking cat, a boy, from... yes, Indiana, a boy named Ernie Barguckle, who became a thorn in the side of the tobacco companies for a couple of years. He did more than tattle to his parents; he and his family took legal action, and they eventually received a huge settlement payout. But that name is too similar... Ernie Barguckle... Jon Arbuckle. Jim Davis must have used this.

There's more here. Ernie Barguckle spent nearly half of that settlement money on experimental medical procedures to cure his... impotence. He was impotent. So... he was a smoking cat with a... a metaphorical pipe, that did not work. Are you starting to see the layers here? This is exciting stuff, you start to get a whole picture here, and it informs the work! It's... it's just remarkable. Jim Davis took these raw ideas, these... pieces, and he transformed them into smart social commentary that is... all so ravishingly beautiful.
I have cried. I've cried, I've cried... I've cried, cried over this piece. It just... gets in my soul. I try to explain this to people, I have... the newspaper articles about Ernie Barguckle... People have fought me on this, they don't see it, or they're close-minded, "How could a comic strip about a cat smoking a pipe mean any more than that?" But it is more... and when I feel spiritual, or start to think existentially, I still see this comic.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:51:13 UTC

Here's something from 1981 that I wrote in thinking about the implications of this strip; this is just an excerpt here... there's more before and after, but this part is the essence to me... If a comic about a cat smoking a pipe can be the only thing in the universe... then maybe this is the strongest evidence for that.

"Many of you say, 'Oh, but I am not blind. I have never been blind,'... But when you truly see, you will understand just how truly blind you once were to even think it right to say you were not blind.

What does a blind man see?

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:51:18 UTC

Blackness.
Darkness.
Blankness.
Blank darkness.
Dark blankness.

The absence of things, quite literally NO thing. No things. Nothings.

So, you see nothing, and I bring you into the light. A cat has your pipe! You've been blind, do you understand this!?

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:51:21 UTC

The cat has your pipe.

You can't fully immerse yourself, you don't have the light. You don't have the radiance, the radical light, the radically radiant light of truth and truth's belonging love, and nature of light, and loving truthful radiance.

So don't be bold, and make bold statements. I know of you.

The cat has your pipe.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:51:25 UTC

The.
Cat.
Has.
Your.
Pipe.

Remember that.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:51:29 UTC

That writing, well... It's kind of rough... Kind of an early eighties feel... and I see that, but I'm still proud of it.
Sometimes I imagine that it is the editorial column in the newspaper Jon Arbuckle is reading. It's an exercise in recursion, it's like a vortex opens up... It's like you hold two mirrors up to each other, one is reality and the other is a cartoon strip. Let's see here... Oh yes, I must bring this up, because I think, surely, Jim Davis is again speaking on multiple levels by including the details set before us in the comic.

Notice the glimpse of Jon Arbuckle's foot in the first panel. The size of the shoe would indicate that maybe the man just has small feet... but a deeper investigation takes us to the footbinding rituals of certain Asian cultures. Inflicted usually on women for the desire of men, this practice was incredibly painful and crippling... Aha! Mister Davis is, here, presenting us with a man, or rather... "man", who engages in footbinding, a body modification for women, on top of "being without his pipe"... or impotent. This is a man facing extreme inner turmoil, the panels tell that story... subconsciously.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:51:32 UTC

Notice the background wall shading of the first panel points inward toward Jon in the second panel... and the sharp tapered end of the purple pipe in the third frame also points at John in the second panel, inward; the eye is drawn to the center panel. You can connect these points and draw a triangle across the panels, and this triangle will align with the reoriented points of Jon's collar! This, this is majestic artwork! and to uncover this hidden order is bliss like I've never known. Comforting, in an empty world. I can't help but read the thought bubble, over and over again.

Now where could my pipe be?

Now where could my pipe be?

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:51:35 UTC

It is a profound question.
Why am I here? What is my purpose? It is reflection and self-examination here. It is facing the dust, the misery of a cold, careless universe. You can feel the weight of it. But where could my pipe be? One imagines the author, Jim Davis, teetering on the edge of insanity... his rationality, his lucidity, hovering over the void... and he seeks the truth. You can see it in the line quality of the drawings; the thoughtful, controlled outlines mixed with the... occasional, chaotic scribbles at work in the shadows and Garfield's dark stripes.

It's almost as if Garfield is chaos himself.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:51:40 UTC

Yes, he is the embodiment of chaos, disorder, hatred, fear... Thievery, death, destruction, desolation! These are the things Garfield represents; HE stole the pipe, HE sits with his back to Jon, Garfield... Garfield, this chaos cat, Garfield has turned his back on everything, everyone! One recalls the great existential forces in literature... Camus' Meursalt, Kafka's Gregor Samsa, or Sartre's Antoine Roquentin... Garfield the Cat sees the hopelessness of life, which...ah, yes...

This is why Jim Davis has chosen smoking. It represents a recklessness, a... a disregard for what some would define as the beauty of life. Garfield may die from the nicotine, he may not... He defies life; he sits defiant, saying nothing, but looking as if he could say... "Then let me die... it does not matter." It does not matter. and we are faced with this; Could Jon behave the same? Is Jon the glimmer of hope?

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:51:43 UTC

He seems to be unsure. Again, his question... "Now where could my pipe be?" indicates that he is wrestling with his own existence. The center panel centers the issue, and again, this hearkens to many of the great religious works of art.
I'm talking about the Pipe Strip in relation to religion. It's... it's interesting to assign the roles of God... and anti-God, or, as many know him to be, the devil... or on a much larger scale, simply the forces of... good and evil. Garfield, the thief-cat, evil and malicious... He is the devil, placed to the right... and note, the two forms of Jon; the Jon on the left, still innocent, still draped in the... delight, of the lack of knowledge. He is... the humans in the Garden of Eden. He feels for his pipe... but he has yet to eat from the tree... and Garfield, the sinister serpent... and notice, notice how Jim Davis has framed this... The center Jon is locked in a struggle, between his innocence, and his knowledge of the truth... knowledge of the existence of evil.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:51:48 UTC

It is stunning. The great struggle, the struggle that transcends time... and Jim Davis floats over all this, as creator... the God, of sorts, in his own right. And he presents this cautionary message to us all; it is as if he is speaking from high and... he is saying, unto our awaiting ears...

Where will you be, when the cat reveals himself? [-Jim 7:27:78]

I can tell you where you'll be. You will have a choice; you can face endless suffering, and eternal misery... You can be forced and beaten down with barbarians, who claw at each other just for a view of salvation. They'll tear your eyeballs out, and rip your gizzards from end to end. They worship this cat, this... this false idol! This evil, horrible cat, do not be seduced by the cat and the pipe!
Garfield... thy name is a mark of the demons of hell. Something like this, and to those listening, it is a stark reminder to follow the path of the first panel Jon; be humble, be grateful, honor the law, and honor thyself. Be true, and be good, and no harm will come to you... Pray for salvation, and it will be granted unto you. Be like Jon Arbuckle, as he lowers his head. Be like Jon Arbuckle as he lowers his paper, as he turns his head. Bow with Jon Arbuckle, and praise unto the creator, Jim Davis... and banish demon Garfield from your life.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:51:52 UTC

So, what is all this? What am I saying? Aha... hmm... What does all this mean? Why is this one comic strip so important to me... and why do I feel the need to share this? Obligation. I have an obligation to you all. This is a redemption, this is a belief in redemption, a sacrifice of all the obvious trappings of this false modern life.

Look at the simplicity in this strip, in the pipe strip. Look at the simple clothes Jon wears, look at his simple, basic furniture... No adornments on the wall, even the very pipe his cat Garfield stole; it is a plain, modest pipe... and I have adapted this way of life, it speaks to me.

In our times... well... you don't need me to point out the hyperbole of our times; you have children being born eight or nine at a time, you have more money being spent on a single Hollywood movie than some nations can spend... feeding their starving people. Torture, distrust... Look around you, it's overwhelming. What can you contribute? and every day, I look in the mirror, and I hold this comic up to the mirror, and I look into the mirror, and at this little comic strip.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:51:58 UTC

Be humble.

Be thankful.

It is a reminder, be respectful.

You are a statue. You are fragile... and when you break, when you shatter... Where will those pieces go?

Ask... ask, ask, ask this question. Will you ask?
Humankind is only as great as you, YOU, the individual, it begins and ends with you! You must treat this expedition, this search, this... life, with a reverence and intensity found only in the smallest sticks. The littlest leaf, the tiniest stone! The most miniscule grain of sand... on a beach of billions!

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:52:01 UTC

This is the secret.

Do you want the pipe?

Do you want to know where the pipe has gone?

You ask yourself, you ask... you ask... you ask...

Now where could my pipe be?

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:52:04 UTC

When I was a young man... remember, now, I first saw this comic when I was eighteen years old... Ages ago... but I was youthful, vibrant. For weeks, I didn't hide that a comic strip was having such a profound effect on me. I was much like Jon Arbuckle. In this middle panel, he says, "Now where could my pipe be?"... you could look into his eyes, his half-lowered eyes, and think to yourself... "Now, surely, Jon... Surely, you cannot be this naive... This is nothing new for you..."

And if you've read more of the Garfield comic strips by Jim Davis, you understand what I am saying now; Garfield the cat does things like this all the time. He will take things from Jon; food, items, anything... This is his very nature.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:52:07 UTC

So you see this, and you want to say, "Jon Arbuckle, come now. You are lying to yourself. You are lying to yourself, and to all of us, if you pretend to have not... any idea of where your pipe has gone. Perhaps you think you've left it somewhere else, but... hmph, you're not so forgetful. You are lying to yourself, ah... yes... You are lying to yourself, Jon Arbuckle. You know that Garfield has the pipe... somewhere, deep down, you know this. You don't even need to think the question." And that was me when I saw this strip. One week passed, and each morning I'd open my drawer and slam it shut again. I would go to look at the comic... but I'd pause, and think... "Oh no, I don't need this comic, I don't n... I don't NEED to look at it..."
But there I was, lying to myself.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:52:10 UTC

I DID need to see it, and so I did, it's... cathartic. You give in, and that is the transition, from the second panel of life, to the third panel of life! It is a simple story structure, the passage from the second act to the third, the twilight of things. Jon gives into his suspicions; he knows the truth, he's ALWAYS known the truth, he yells out, "GARFIELD! GARFIELD! GARFIELD!"

It is like... pressure from a steam valve, being released; the buildup is unbearable, and then... PSSHHWW, it's gone. So it is like this... when I speak about the truth... the truth, the light, the radiance, this... this is the kind of thing I'm talking about. This is the essence of this brilliant work of art, the practical mixing, meeting, agreeing with the spiritual, it is all HERE. but spirituality is not an easy thing to confront. You might find yourself able to wrap your mind around a simple math problem, or a basic newspaper article, or... but intellect... is much less subjective.

What is spirituality... and how have I found spiritual peace and serenity in Garfield?

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:52:18 UTC

A long time ago, after I encountered the Pipe Strip... I spent some time, as I mentioned before, soul-searching. When something impacts you, or alters your very perception so greatly, there is a long period of confusion, recovery time. It's as if you don't know who you are, and that can be a... a very scary prospect, especially if you thought you had a good grasp on that sort of thing. Imagine if Jim Davis did not know who he was. Would he be capable of shaping the cultural landscape as he's done? No. No, of course he wouldn't.

...and how about his characters? Jon... what if Jim Davis suddenly woke up, and didn't know who Jon was? What if he couldn't make the informed decisions to accurately depict Garfield's personality, because of... he could no longer specify, or demarcate the boundaries of Garfield's behavior? What kind of comic would THAT be? You see?

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:52:18 UTC

So draw the parallel. I saw this comic and, yes, I was disoriented... and if I didn't reconcile this issue with myself, what kind of person would I be? Undoubtedly dire circumstances, but remember; this was not a math problem, this was not an article, this was not something I could just figure out and as skeptical as I was, I realized that faith and spirituality were avenues that required exploring. At first I tried... long nights, reading Garfield by candlelight, or aromatic meditation settings, while thinking of Garfield, but nothing snapped. Nothing clicked, I still felt lost... but I kept it up, I hired a shaman, and a young personal Yogi Sikh Guru; Avram Dahb Singh Sahib. I pushed and pushed, determined to find myself.

And then, a miracle happened. Upon retrieving my morning paper, to clip the Garfield comic... I noticed a young girl, selling lemonade two houses down. She sat, occupied at her stand. She had no customers in sight. So, I approached, and saw that she was coloring. I looked at her drawing...Three rectangular boxes. A man, in a blue shirt. An orange cat. I knew what this was. Even in her crude scribbles, I knew EXACTLY what this was. She was drawing a Garfield comic

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:52:21 UTC

I looked at her words, and I saw that, in her strip, Jon asked Garfield to retrieve a newspaper. Heh, funny... since I'd done just that with myself... Garfield is sarcastic, but agrees to. He returns and calls Jon... "Sahib". Jon exclaims that the paper's all chewed up, but then Garfield says, and I quote, "Sahib asks fish, paper is wet. Sahib asks cat, paper is holey." I remember the words, and ran back to my house, and thought, "How odd that Sahib shows up in the strip, and my spiritual advisor's name is Avram Dahb Singh Sahib!" Coincidence surely, but, nonetheless, I spent the next sixteen hours poring through my clipped Garfield comics, looking for the strip this young girl had been coloring... I couldn't find it... and I eventually fell asleep, right on my kitchen table
Next morning, I retrieved my paper again, and I clipped the Garfield comic. The date was July 12th, 1983. There it was. The Sahib Strip, in all its glory. The girl had been drawing the next day's strip!

So, I ran right out of my house, I ran back to where she was... but she was gone, and in place of the lemonade stand was a "For Sale" sign.

They'd moved out.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:52:36 UTC

I rushed back to my house to call Avram, but... I was informed that he'd moved away as well. I reeled, for several hours, and then it all connected for me. It was meant to be. It w... it was meant to be this way! Jim Davis... Jon, Garfield... It was always meant to be this way for me.... They move to the forefront, and everything else fades away, EVERYTHING else; the girl, the lemonade stand, Avram Dahb Singh Sahib, it all existed to show me the way, and when I'd found the way...

Everything else melted away. It was a beautiful miracle... and if July 27th, 1978, the day I first saw the pipe strip... was the first day of my life, then that day, July 12th, 1983, was the second day of my life. I've never looked back. Garfield has transformed me... and I am a man, born anew, because of Garfield.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:52:39 UTC

When I was in my mid-thirties, I was interviewed for a documentary... It was a documentary on the subject of cat behavior. Now, I've had cats my whole life; I have three cats now, and at the time of this documentary interview, I had four cats. I sat down for the interview and was joined by a veterinarian who specialized in felines: Doctor Caroline Wellmitz was her name, I believe... and the doctor discussed colorblindness in animals, and how it affects their behavior.

She specifically brought up the fact that cats are red-green colorblind; they can see colors, but they can't tell the difference between red and green ...and look at the color choice in this strip here. Garfield sits on a green floor, behind a pinkish red wall.
I heard this, and I immediately pulled a copy of the comic from my wallet to show to the doctor... I moved so fast, I'm sure I nearly scared her, I... pointed at the paper and said, "Like this! Like this! Look, at this here! This cat, Garfield, he's colorblind, he must be! That must be the answer here... like this."

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:52:42 UTC

As over-excited as I was, I managed to take in her response; she said "Yes, a cat in this room would have a hard time differentiating the wall from the floor. Add to that a cat's known spatial confusion, and you have the makings of a Cat Rage room." Now, she informed me that this isn't exactly common knowledge among cat owners... but a seasoned cat owner, or someone particularly perceptive will have picked up on it.

So what's incredible here is not only is Garfield's behavior symbolic of the devil, and all the evil constructs in the world, but... but, but... but also, it is rooted in science and scientific fact.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:52:46 UTC

Look at that. You cannot spell fact without "cat".

Hah, just a little joke there... just some wordplay, but getting back on track...

...and you can't spell track without "cat."

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:52:50 UTC

Okay... I digress. I gotcha, I gotcha, enough... kidding around.

It is established here that Garfield is in a rage; an ultimate rage of fury and hatred, caused by colorblindness. We know the "what", we know the "why"... but let us examine the "how", the how of his rage is particularly interesting here. We've looked at his posture and called it "powerful", "in control", "statuesque", "etc., etc." Composed rage... It's peculiar, and I've talked to a number of psychologists and psychiatrists, and even a couple of anger management therapists about this concept...

Could we see the same kind of behavior in a human? Is Garfield representative of something more specific than just chaos and rage? Deciphering this is going to take some perseverance. for sure.
The psychologists pointed to a phenomenon in humans, and, yes, I believe one of the anger management counselors brought it up as well. The idea that people, oftentimes, will bottle their rage... Garfield the cat, here... well, he could be bottling his anger, inside, shoving it deep into his cat gut, to ignore and deal with at a later time.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:52:53 UTC

Eh, well... No, that's not exactly right. Garfield has already acted out, he's already stolen the pipe... he's SMOKING the pipe, he's already dealt with his anger. He's already lashed out, so, psychologically, what is going on here? What is this cat doing, and how does it impact his owner, Jon Arbuckle... psychologically?
Well, Garfield is angry. He is acting on his anger... but is this passive anger, or aggressive anger?

Passive. It is passive because if Garfield has a problem with Jon specifically... he's choosing a passive way of dealing with that problem. He has not confronted Jon, and said, "Jon, I have a problem with the way you've decorated this room; as a cat, I am colorblind, and this room sends me into a rage... You've created a rage room for me here, and I don't like it; I want you to change it."

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:52:57 UTC

Instead of that confrontational approach, though, Garfield has chosen to steal Jon's pipe... and that, in turn, angers Jon... but Jon decides to be aggressively angry, and yell at Garfield, so... now, instead of a calm conversation between two respectful parties, you have two... heated, angry individuals, each with a problem and no direct line to solving it. The layered emotions here tell a story with tight, focused brevity that would make Hemingway weep. This is an entire drama, in just three panels, people.
...but let's not be remiss, and miss the humor of the situation, the... absurdity of it all... for certainly, there is a reason that the visual shorthand for drama includes both the crying mask AND a laughing mask. Comedy and tragedy complement each other, and meld together to create drama, tension, the height of humanity, the peak of art, that reflects back to us our own condition. .and here in its basest form, we can laugh at this comic yes, COMIC, in which a cat smokes a pipe... Hah... when was the last time you've SEEN such a thing in your life? Never, I presume... I certainly never have...

The Greek muse, Thalia's presence is strong in this work of art, here. Comedy, it is COMEDY... and if you look at the structure again, you'll see this perfect form of thirds works magically for the transmission of, yes, YES, a JOKE. The joke.... is as old as time... even cavemen told jokes, and the joke here is that Jon has lost his pipe... or he thinks he has... but lo and behold, it is the cat, Garfield, who has the pipe. surprise, surprise, the cat is smoking!

Again, the transition, from set-up to punchline takes place between the second and third panels... but make no mistake, the comic is more than just a comic... Yes, it IS funny, of course it is... it is operating at the height of sophisticated humor, on par with any of Shakespeare's piercing wit.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:53:01 UTC

On the one hand, Garfield the comic, with Jon the man, humor as art... the other hand, Garfield comic, with Jon the man, stirring... no, RIVETING drama... as with everything, it is tension, and release. TENSION... and RELEASE...

A cycle.
I keep returning to this idea, because it is so omnipresent. Yes, you could... and yes, I have done this, on more than one occasion... you could print this comic strip on a giant piece of paper. The dimensions would be something like... thirty-four inches by eleven inches.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:53:04 UTC

Now, tape the ends together, with the comic facing inward. Stick your head in the middle of this Garfield comic loop and READ, start at the first panel; Jon is reading the newspaper... he feels for something on the end table.

Second panel; he sets the newspaper down, something is not right..."Where could my pipe be?" he thinks...and then, the payoff; the third panel, Garfield has Jon's pipe, and is smoking it.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:53:08 UTC

But, aha! The paper is in a loop, around your head... so that you can see that, once again, Jon is in his seat, reading the paper... and so on, and so on, you can literally read the comic strip for an eternity!

I spent many a relaxing Sunday afternoon reading this strip, over and over... reminded of the Portuguese death carvings, which always begin and end with the same scrawled image.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:53:11 UTC

So, this idea of repetition, of the beginning being the end, and the end being the beginning... It's not new, it is an ageless tradition among the best storytellers humanity has ever offered... and I'm not wrong to include cartoonist Jim Davis in that exalted set for this particular strip alone

I'm not foolish enough to deny that great art is subjective... divisive, even, and that some people see this Garfield comic and shrug with no real reaction... but I will say that I believe everyone in the world should see it; at the very least, see it!
You should all see it. Read it. Spend some time with it. Spend an hour reading it... what's an hour? Yes, you could watch some television program, you could play some fast-paced video games or computer games, yes, you could do all those things. But it's just an hour... and if you give this strip a chance, if you look into Jon Arbuckle's eyes... if you look into Jon Arbuckle's SOUL... You might find that you'll really be looking into your own soul.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:53:15 UTC

It is self discovery, that is what I'm talking about here... YOU have the opportunity, the possibility... it could change you. Don't be afraid.

You know, just last week, I was eating lunch near the Municipal Court... like I do every Thursday, and... there was a plumbing banner... a plumbing van, parked out in front, uh... and a man, a plumber, would step out from the court, and retrieve something from this every so often.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:53:18 UTC

A few times, this happened... I thought nothing of it; just a plumber, doing some work at the Municipal Court... but then he came out, and looked through his van, and it was clear. He couldn't find something. I noticed, and thought, "Well, that's sort of similar to the Garfield comic, in a way. Someone looks for something, can't find it,"... but, yes, that probably happens billions of times a day around the world...

...but then, this plumber... put his hands on his hips... then, he scratched his head, and he said aloud...

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:53:21 UTC

"Now, where could my pipe wrench be?"

Well, at this, I leaped off the bench, sandwich still in hand, and I rushed over, I shouted, "What was that you said!?"

He looked at me and said, "What? I can't find my pipe wrench, " and I said, "No! No, no, say it... like how you just said it..."

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:53:24 UTC

He scratched his head, and repeated, "Now where could my pipe wrench be?"

I slapped him on the back and said, "Garfield!"

He looked so confused, so I said it again... then, I said "Your orange cat took it!"
Heh... ah, then I laughed and laughed... and he smiled, and went back into the courtroom.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:53:27 UTC

I walked away, knowing that the plumber and I, two complete strangers, bonded over this Garfield comic... You see, life imitates art, becomes a common ground.

I have a feeling that if I see this plumber again, we'll be sharing stories like two old friends because we've been united by art. We have a common love for Jim Davis and his characters, his writings... The humor, the drama, that rascal Garfield, the cat. (Oh, and by the way, if you're wondering what I was having for lunch that day, it was a ham sandwich with an apple and potato chips... in a bag, I had a soda as well)

I think it's important to view the Pipe Strip in philosophical terms... We've touched briefly on the notion of existentialism; that theme is very prevalent in this strip. Garfield is, in fact, a modern existential anti-hero... but if Garfield embodies the bewilderment in a meaningless life, what is Jon? What are the telltale signs that inform Jon's philosophical standpoint? His approach, what style of thinking he represents?

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:53:30 UTC

Jon is depicted as being grounded in the material world... a world of things; he is surrounded by objects, and he touches these objects, he interacts with them. The newspaper, the end table, the chair... his clothes, all these physical things make up Jon's world. In some sense, even his cat Garfield is an object to him, a thing...

The first ideology that comes to mind when thinking of objects in the tangible world... is pragmatism... Is Jon Arbuckle a pragmatist? His beliefs stem from a useful, coherent view of his environment... a sort of cause-and-effect understanding of his world helps him.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:53:33 UTC

A: Deduce that his pipe is missing... and B: Catches his cat, Garfield, using the pipe.
This kind of empirical and logical thinking lends credence to the idea that Jon is, indeed, a pragmatist... Although, it is hard to entirely ignore the rest of the Garfield comic canon.

While Garfield is consistently anarchic, and embraces the chaos and absurdity of life... Jon Arbuckle exhibits an erratic, unpredictable mix of philosophical behaviors. At times, he is borderline; delusional, an idealist, an almost slap-happy version of Don Quixote. Other moments, he is rigid, nearly to the point of being obsessive... somewhat like a structuralist, and certainly has streaks of sarcasm and negativity that might classify him as a skeptic.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:53:37 UTC

...But isn't there some universal truth in this approach? How can any one man, how can Jon Arbuckle be just one thing? How can any of us be just one thing? We're... an amalgamation of ideas, of emotions... conducts and functions, thoughts and feelings... Jon Arbuckle may very well inhabit tenets of nearly every major philosophical tract known to man. We all might.

Characters are reduced, to make them recognizable, definable; a story needs a good guy, a story needs a bad guy... but rarely is one person defined in such black and white terms. Even Garfield, with all his bad behavior, Machiavellian motivation and general ne'er-do-well attitude, can be kind and thoughtful. You just have to find that rare strip.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:53:41 UTC

Speaking philosophically about the entire Garfield franchise, it's an incredibly accurate depiction of life. Its bold lines and bright colors are merely a facade, a... a red herring, a lie. This cartoon is not a cartoon at all, it is not a... caricature. It is not caricature despite adopting caricature as its visual style and tone...but I don't really like to speak in broad sweeping generalizations about Garfield.
The comic has been running for over thirty years, and to try and boil that all down is just, well... it's impossible. I think the only way that any historian worth his salt will agree with me is to look at individual moments... isolated instances, single comic strips.

Can I discuss this one strip in the context of the entire run of Garfield? Yes, I do that just as a film historian might analyze one movie in relation to the history of all movies, or a war enthusiast might look at a single battle's impact on an entire war. The Pipe Strip is just an instance in the lives of Jon and Garfield.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:53:45 UTC

Perhaps Jon is not a pragmatist at all... let's look at this again. Maybe Jon is exhibiting the traits of a rationalist thinker; his question, "Now where could my pipe be?" is a clue that his thought process stems from the early rationalist questions posed by Renรฉ Descartes. The well-known quote, "I think, therefore I am," attributed to Descartes, is applicable.

Another close look at the strip, and we see that Jim Davis chose to draw Jon thinking his question.

"Now where could my pipe be?"

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:53:48 UTC

Jon does not speak this question aloud, so Jim Davis is also exploring the mind/body duality... Jon's question operates on the level of a literal question... but it also examines the nature of reality. Jim Davis' epistemological approach tells us something about the human condition; Jon's thoughts remain the focal point of this strip.

The comic is, quite literally, centered around his thought.

"Now where could my pipe be?"

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:53:51 UTC

This is his reality, this is where cognition, and the power and function of the mind take over. As Plato believed, the body is just a shell for Jon Arbuckle; yes, he can use his physical body to read his paper or cross his legs, but these inputs of touch, sight, hearing, et cetera, these senses are the triggers of the mind, as we see here, the mind... is something greater. It is the originator of ideas, and ideas are forever. Immortal.
Immortality through thought, a... a major theme in literature and philosophy...

...and isn't that what Mister Jim Davis himself has achieved?

Will he live forever?

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:53:58 UTC

The universe will continue to spread, and spread outward, and... entropy will turn a chaotic infinity into a homogenous, controlled system. This will take billions of years, and in that time, humans will push technology to heights we can't imagine. We'll explore and inhabit space, and occupy more and more of the universe, just as time allowed our ancestors to... multiply in numbers, and populate more and more of the Earth.

...and as the specific people come and go, their physical bodies will be born, and grow, and die... but their thoughts will remain. and Jim Davis' comics, his glorious Garfield comics... are recorded ideas of his, that will still be here.

Even when the Earth is no longer inhabitable, and humanity has long since moved away to bigger planets, they'll carry with them a record, a record we all keep; mark my words... and look at what we've started, what is... What is the internet? What is the online world, if not a record? Never-ending feed of ideas, immortal ideas... forever placed in the ether of dualism.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:54:04 UTC

What is an idea? Where does it live? How does it manifest itself? Can it live forever? Will it live forever, outside of these physical husks of ours, our bodies?

...and Jon Arbuckle, and Garfield, started merely as thoughts... but they've become so much more. That old clichรฉ rings true, they've taken on a life of their own... and life may not be what we think. Life brings to mind a beating heart, breathing lungs, blinking eyes...

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:54:08 UTC

...but the real life is in our imaginations... and who better embodies the definition of imagination if not a simple man... a cartoonist, who puts his ideas to paper so that they may live on, so that our children, and our children's children, and their children's children's children can access the wealth of ideas that have accumulated thus far.
They will plug themselves into an information grid, and they will have access... They will read every Garfield comic, 80,000 years from now, a child will see a simple Jon Arbuckle, reading a newspaper. He will feel around for something, but that something is not there... He will lift his head and think...

"Now where could my pipe be?"

...and Garfield will be smoking the pipe, and Jon will yell "GARFIELD!"

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:54:11 UTC

...and what then? 80,000 years from now?

The child reading this comic will smile... and that smile will transcend space and time and the physical limitations of this existence, whatever they may be, however many dimensions exist...

There will always be Garfield... and there will always be its creator...

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:54:16 UTC

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale.

It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:54:18 UTC

But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum.

All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:54:21 UTC

We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.

You girls are funny. I like to listen to your tiny 110 IQ brains working in their somewhat feeble and halting fashion. It's like watching those gibbons at the circus they teach to smoke cigars and ride a little tricycle around in a ring. You know, you're almost right. Compared to modern men, anyhow. Since the average male nowadays is a pathetic wreck who looks like a crossbreeding experiment between Don Knotts and PeeWee Herman, you girls are really closing the gap. Soon the average male will be nearly as weak as a physically fit woman.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:54:24 UTC

I weigh 320 pounds. I run the mile in 5:20. The commanding chief of police of Queensland recently described me to his staff as "superhuman freak from another world who only looks like one of us on the outside." He also said "Technically, the guy is an unlicensed weapon of mass destruction just walking around outdoors. If I ever get orders to arrest this guy, I'm bringing a tank and a rocket launcher." He also described me as "without a doubt the most brilliant software developer we have ever contracted with."

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:54:27 UTC

If you go to the Vault-Co website and have a look at the Vulcan Fortress, remember those one ton drums you see on the site were offloaded from the delivery truck and then rolled around the site ... by me, working alone. In many cases I carried the 400 lb stainless steel air intake pipes down into the five meter pit on my back. These pipes required six people to unload when they arrived and I was not there to assist. Just one of those pipes would crush you girls like the gravitational field of a black hole.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:54:40 UTC

Simple , I'm looking for a submissive, playful , sexy Slut. You need to do all that I say and obey all that I tell you to do. I'm looking for a slut for this weekend . You need to be curvy , Big boobs are a must and very eager and willing to please. I love giving oral and receiving as well. I'm athletic and in great SEXUAL shape, If you a submissive cumswallowing whore , who likes getting your pussy sucked and nibbled on and have an interest in getting a load shot down your throat, a load shot deep into your moist pussy and a hot thick load shot into your ASS. Then contact me , Put ' red rubber super ball" in the subject line and i will respond. looking forward to cumming in you.
I WILL only respond to REAL reponses
For a little while now I've been wanting to act like a cub...without my fursuit. I have a few problems though and I don't really know how to handle them without asking this subreddit. My first problem is that when I roleplay, I have to actually look very similar to a cub For it to have any effect. If I don't look like a cub, I really can't consider myself a cub and after a while I get kind of disgusted with myself for some reason I don't know. For instance, if I were to look down and see my hairy man legs it would ruin the whole thing and I'd probably feel disgusted with myself. For some reason ears and a tail really don't seem to do anything as that kind of just implies a half human half animal thing.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:54:41 UTC

Second of all, diapers can be somewhat sexual to me if I actually wear them with my fursuit and I wouldn't want to bring sex anywhere near my roleplays. im kind of at a loss for ideas here, maybe somebody here could help?
I'm a regular Joe with a small dick I'm looking for a woman who enjoys a small dick but is willing to have some hot sex with me if you like my ad and you want to get to know me please feel free to send a picture and some info I'm looking for a relationship for ongoing activities I'm a laid-back kind a guy and I'm never pushy I'm 420 friendly and drink friendly. Put friend in the subject line so I know who real
Slosh, slosh, Jackal rummages around, delighting in the warm, satisfying feeling of food being sent deeper within her. Beneath all the ice cream and pastries she devoured is the remnants of an intruding vixen she found and bound. Once tied up, she proved easy enough to swallow down, and since being subjugated to Jackal's powerful insides she's more a fox-laden soup than the thick vixen she previously was.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:54:44 UTC

With all the vixen left to digest, the purple canine simply went about her normal routine: eating, sleeping, relaxing, only occasionally paying attention to her engorged middle as the chyme within her is absorbed and turned into much more useful pudge. For the better part of the day Victoria the vixen is processed by Jackal's guts, even her clothing isn't spared by the canine's impressive anatomy. By the time Victoria's bulge has shrunk from a massive beanbag to a firmer beachball size, does Jackal begin to assess the damage the fox is doing to her curves. She's not afraid to get physical -- while she's rubbing her hefty potbelly, her free hand thumps and slaps against the surprisingly resilient hill of purple. Her hand sinks and rebounds from her skin, accompanied by the delightful noise of fluids sploshing around within her. The firmness, when compared to her earlier belly's jostly softness, means parts of the white fox is already permanently added to Jackal's frame as chub.

She gives the fox a few more hours of stewing around within her until a final air bubble wrestles up Jackal's throat as a echoing Burrp!, signaling Victoria's completed digestion, and that means it's time to assess how she's done. Starting from the top, the purple canine's hands move to her previously modest chest, which ballooned into two heavy milk jugs.
I raped myself today.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:54:48 UTC

You read that right. For years people kept saying that washing your asscrack while showering is normal, and "hygienic". Of course I just tried to ignore them, I wouldn't indulge in their satanic self-harm. But the pressure kept building, my ass growing crustier by the day. I found myself starting to believe it wouldn't be that sinful, right? Well I was WRONG!

This morning in the shower it happened. Washed my body and face just like normal, washed my hair, and relaxed for a bit. Then the intrusive thought got in my mind again. "If everyone does it, how can it be that bad?" I found myself reaching for the soap, arms shaking. Got closer to the spot where the sun never shines. Contact. Slowly going towards the middle. I already felt it was wrong, and believe me, I wanted to stop. Just swipe it like a creditcard through a reader and be done with it. I wish I stopped before that moment. I did what I did. After 20 minutes of crying on the shower floor I had to face the facts. I'm gay now.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:54:53 UTC

Spy Kids 3D is one of the few films in which I personally did not find any significant weakness even after many viewings. From the direction, to the acting, to the storyline, to the score, Spy Kids 3D has the word classic written all over, and it really is not much of a surprise that it is now considered by many one of the top five spy movies of all time. Perhaps when it comes to cinematic techniques Spy Kids 3D has not been as revolutionary as The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3D, but its influence on motion pictures is comparable. Rarely a movie has defined or re-defined a genre as much as this one did for "spy movies", but its influence goes well beyond that.

But to say that Spy Kids 3D is simply "influential" is to diminish its true qualities, and so is to describe it simply as "a movie about Spy Kids". The Spy Kids are certainly the main focus the story revolves around, but although the movie never tries to forcedly insert separate subjects it contains an amount of psychological and social subtexts that cannot be overlooked. Considerations on how the social environments changes us, on how moral values appear different from different point of views, on how violence can destroy a human soul, and on how power can corrupt an individual are deeply blended into a story that stays practically always true to complete realism, and the result is a picture of astonishing efficacy and believability.
Given the chance for vengeance on General Scales, Krystal eagerly took up the opportunity and dominated the overgrown reptile beneath her paw. With his weapons and armor removed, the muscular lizard was, with great difficulty, sent down the blue vixen's throat, and from there it wasn't long until her bodily functions took care of the rest.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:54:57 UTC

Within Krystal, the massive scalie's bulk is eagerly kneaded and mashed, her stomach effortlessly resisting whatever kicks or punches the indignant reptile can muster. In fact, all his struggles achieve is letting air escape up her throat, causing the occasional Buurp! or belch past the feisty vixen's teeth. Despite his empty, muffled threats, her inner workings grind the chiseled saurian into viscous, nutritious goop in no time. Not all at once of course; the lowermost portions of the lizard are first to be melted and emptied out into Krystal's lower bowels where they sluice and slip around in her red tubing. But, as digestion sets in and General Scales becomes more syrup than solid, her intestines are flooded to near capacity with reptile-rich chyme, which bloats out her crotch and abdomen.

"Ooh! Mmm... This is a much better place for you."

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:55:03 UTC

As her bowels go to work siphoning the scalie-mix away, her breasts and butt bubble up, naturally matching the amount he's disappeared by. She pats her potbelly, giggling at the rousing feeling of the slush inside her shifting to and fro. Slapping her belly produces angry grrgls and grrns, obvious protests from her innards wishing to be undisturbed in their work. There's a few obvious chunks of him left at this point, but the lion's share of Scales resides in her intestinal tubing, where her body can eagerly reap the rewards.

The last bits of life in General Scales are snuffed out of existence as the stomach he resides within contracts one final time, crushing him down and deeper.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:55:07 UTC

cant believe gender 3 thinks guns arent okay commie libtard shillary wimps cant even wipe their own ass ever since obumber droped bombs all over the middle east but lets not talk about that cause that would not be very humanitarian, burn in hell with your vegan fake meat why even stop eating meat if you like the taste of it ??? one moment they say ban guns cause people die but same time dont want mexican gun people from crossing the border? FIND GOD!!! the american family is in shambles ever since you liberal idiots bailed out wallstreet weve been in the shitter wont even support our troops WHEN THEY DIED FOR YOUR FREEDOM, pull up your pant and get a job you commie hippy cucks you talk about GUNS being dangerous but cant even tell jimmy neutron to push the button that looks like a cheeseburger i mean its obviously fucking salt but he insists on calling it some scientific bullshit

Another week, another laundry load, you think to yourself as you climb down to the basement. You swing open the door, barely awake, not able to think of any relevant puns for a stupid Reddit thread, wearing your last-resort shirt from a decade old fundraiser and basketball shorts.

You groggily drop the basket down, opening the door to the washing machine, and on routine shove your week's clothes into the appliance. But when you reach for the laundry pods, the container's already opened.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:55:10 UTC

Looking into it, you see not a single laundry pod, and no backup detergent anywhere in sight. Your momentary befuddlement is interrupted by a cute, demure "Excuse me?"

In shock, you turn around, and a creature unlike any you've seen before is inside the doorway. A translucent white is her unmistakably feminine body, but with odd transparent fringes along her "head" and behind her sparkling eyes. Her "snout", if you were to pick a word, has two small ridges, one blue and the other orange, glossy and glimmering. A similar pattern crosses her chest, one breast a deep blue and the other a bright tangerine. A floral scent fills the room, and you're getting the full effect of it with your jaw dropped at this creature's beauty.
You mumble something, the spark of recall dancing in your eyes along with the spark of arousal.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:55:15 UTC

"You're missing some clothes..." She sidles up to you, giving you a glimpse of her round backside, again repeating the blue-and-orange motif. "I think what you're wearing could use a wash, too~"

Her half-closed eyes, and her bitten lip, give you all the hint you need. Your clothes join the rest of your laundry in the washing machine, and you embrace your newfound tropical-scented fling. As she hugs you, light squeaking noises, the sound of her taut plastic skin, fill the room, and the aroma becomes almost... alluring, no, intoxicating.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:55:20 UTC

You plant a kiss on her head, on the orange ridge. She runs her mitten-like hands down your back, a refreshing and cooling touch to counterbalance your hot-running blood. "But... You're made of detergent, yet you're full of these dirty thoughts..." you stammer out.
Don't ask questions, just do what comes naturally. Donโ€™t you want to drink me...?" To answer your unspoken, truer question, she kisses you deeply, her unique lips embracing yours, her eyes closing as you join the forbidden love. With a close look at her translucent body, you see the turbulent flows of her inner detergent pulsing and swirling, and soon emotion closes your eyes so you can concentrate on feeling the love filling you both.

After an eternity you'd live and die again for of pure love between two unlikely beings, you break the kiss off, and her hand moves down your side, the taut skin sliding along your shaft. With a squeak she strokes the underside of your glans, winking at you. "There's one kind of dirty I'd love us to become, you know."

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:55:23 UTC

You'd almost swear in that moment that beneath the swirling white soapy face of hers it turned the slightest, blushing shade of pink as your firmness pushed into her horn base. You seductively unscrew her top, as she moaned.
โ€œYes, twist my tight fucking cap.โ€ She moans, spilling between your fingers. You moan at her scent, as it beckons you, mechanically tipping her over as her begs you to sip. To drink.

โ€œYes Yes Yes DRINK DRINK ME RIGHT HERE ANDNOWYESYOUHAVEJUSTMETHERESONLYTHISRNDITALLYESYOUKNOWTHISISWHARYOUWANTJESUSCHRISTTAKEMEโ€

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:55:26 UTC

Gulp after gulp, your eyes roll back in the highest form of ecstasy youโ€™ve ever felt. Yes you think. This is what I want. Itโ€™s so beautiful. I donโ€™t want it to end, but I do want it to end. The taste oh god the taste. You picture itโ€™s taste as your mind covers everything youโ€™ve ever known in Tide.

My worthless cunt neighbor had sex once again and she moaned like the fucking whore she is. Moaning is one of the most primitive behaviors that still exist today. It's a whore's call for the nearest males to come and fight eachother to death so that the last survivor will claim the femoid and breed her pussy with his superior genes. If we still lived in the jungle and i heard that noise,i would approach the male fucker and knock him out with my cavemade bat but since we live nowadays in a civilized society with laws and shit,i can't do anything about that so i have to resort to punching my fucking walls. This is why moaning must be criminalized. It disrupts the peace of mind of the male inhabitants of a civilized society. If that whore wants to moan,she can freely go to the amazon rainforest and moan like the fucking primitive animal she is,otherwise she must face either the rope,the electric chair or the flamethrower.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:55:30 UTC

Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. I hope to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients.

The Washington Monument depicts a giant dick, and thus symbolizes male energy. It stands in a vescica pisces, which symbolizes female energy.Tthe unification of polar opposites like good an evil or male and female is where its believed that magic springs into existence. In case of the unification of male and female for example its the magic of life that happens as a new child is made. The washington monument also gets mirrored by the Pond. As above so Below.
also the washington monument is 555 feet high. usually an obelisk has 20% of it underground to make it stable making the total height 666 feet.
555 feet are also 6660 inches
6 is the number of man, and his weakness. greed, egoism, egocentrism, all the materialistic desires, and i believe of this plane existence in general (the earth is tilted 23,4 degrees, or if you count from the other direction 66.6 degrees, life, on this planet at least, is made of carbon, the 6th element, with 6 protons, 6 neutrons and 6 electrons). 666 is going over the top with the materialistic desires, pursuing and desiring only those and making you follow the path of satan.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:55:33 UTC

You hate women, because you are weak. You lack the necessary skills and talents, to charm them to your way of thinking. Were you the kind of person who spent a large percentage of your waking-hours dedicating yourself to a singular purpose; a hobby, a career or perhaps a healthy mix of both, you would find that most, if not all of your hatred and focus would be redirected as energy into that activity. Instead, your hatred is directed at women because you are lazy and unmotivated.

Even men who, for all intents and purposes, are considered "ugly" by society's standards, manage to attract good-looking, available, personable women because they know ... not think, not feel, not believe, but KNOW ... that they have acquired enough skills through sheer hard work, for their confidence to be justified.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:55:37 UTC

You would know this also, if you did a single day's worth of hard work in your life.

Guess what? Most people wear a bike helmet when they ride. Nothing ANY of you say is going to change that. You can yell and scream (you autists who actually believe in the nonsense you're saying) and your can TROLLOLOLOL all you want (you escapees from /b/ who are just trolling, having nothing better to do) BUT NOTHING YOU SAY OR DO HERE WILL CHANGE REALITY: PEOPLE WEAR BIKE HELMETS AND NOTHING IS GOING TO CHANGE THAT. In fact, MORE people will wear them as time goes by, and NOTHING will stop that, either.

Does that make you ANGRY, non-trolls and actual-trolls?
>Yes, yes, it does!
You NON-TROLLS are angry because it grates against your severe autism.
>stop doing what I said you shouldn't do! WAAH!
You TROLLS are angry because you know your trolling is STUPID and POINTLESS and doesn't make anyone actually angry, because REALITY wins every time.
>WAAH, my pointless game is ruined! I can't even effectively troll the slowest board on 4chan!

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:55:43 UTC

What will you do now, trolls and non-trolls? Smash your monitor and keyboard? Injure yourselves in a fit of rage? Punch holes in your parents' walls? Rage-quit 4chan? LOL, IDGAF, because ironically we're the ones who end up amused at YOUR expense. Good game, lads, HAVE A NICE DAY, NOW! xD xD xD

I am genuinely in love with Anne Frank. She was beautiful, witty, and graceful young woman who light was snuffed out far too early.

I frequently fantasize about being Peter van Pels hiding with her.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:55:46 UTC

Oh god, just imagine deflowering that sweet girl on a lazy Amsterdam afternoon, lying and learn what each other's bodies were for.

Now imagine nine months later, she's got a massive bulging stomach from carrying your child inside of her and it seems like sheโ€™s gonna pop any moment now. Her popped belly button makes it look like she's got a giant third boob where her stomach once was. She waddles around and can barely move half of the time. She's developed an insatiable craving for your dick and you've likewise developed a taste for her pussy. Youโ€™re both cooped up in an attic all day have nothing better to do besides fuck like an unsustainable third world population. You lie down on your back, she strips off her almost comically too small clothes and kneels on top of you. She grabs a hold of your rock hard cock, inserts it deep inside of her, and begins to ride you like a stallion. You feel the pressure from her incredible weight and huge round belly bearing down on you but the indescribable pleasure of her tight pussy throbbing on you cock negates any discomfort. You sink into her beautiful soul, into that secret place where no one dares to go. After 30 minutes, you and her are both moaning with ever greater intensity, you know it won't be long now. Suddenly, you feel your cock shaking like a V-2 rocket and the orgasm reaches it's climax as your cum literally explodes like an 88mm AT round inside her Sherman tank, blowing the turret right off. You and her both join as one, souls screaming from the sheer ecstasy. As the elation wears off, she lies next to you. Too exhausted to do anything else, you simply hold her in your embrace. In that moment, there is no family squabbles, no Nazis, no war. Just you and her, watching the sky turn pink with the setting sun.

You dream of the beautiful face you have found in this place. So soft and sweet.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:55:55 UTC

One day you will both die and your ashes will fly from an aeroplane over the sea. But for now you are young and all you want is lay in the sun, and count every beautiful thing you can see. Love to be in the arms of all youโ€™re keeping here with you.

What a beautiful dream that could flash on the screen in a blink of an eye.

Suddenly, you awaken from your slumber to the sound of a bloodcurdling scream. You open your eyes to darkness, it takes a split second for your vision to readjust. You feel lonely and cold. Another shriek knocks you back into reality. Anne sitting next to you, clutching her belly, face contorted from pain. A foul smelling fluid lies pooled on the floor around her mid-section. Your hot dirty fuckfest has brought on labor. she cries your name, begging for help, begging for you. The noise. Sheโ€™s louder than a line of Louisiana Tigers giving the Rebel Yell right now. You raise your finger to your lips to tell her to be quiet. But the agony is too much for her to bear. Youโ€™ve got to do something or else it will awaken the entire neighborhood and with it, the Nazis. Suddenly you remember the bulge in your pants.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:55:55 UTC

Youโ€™ve got morning wood. Itโ€™s not the best gag, but it will have to do. You stand up, squat like a slav, using her belly as an impromptu stool, grab your still cum-crusted cock, and shove it right inside her mouth. At first, she tries to scream even louder in surprise, but your circumcised 100% Kosher dong blocks her windpipe, reducing her screams to a barely audible gurgle. Suffering from unbearable pain, she bites down on her your meat with each contraction. Now youโ€™e in pain too. With each contraction, she bites down harder, it feels like sheโ€™s gonna tear your cock right off. Eventually, the pain subsides for her and she doesnโ€™t bite down as much. Now it seems almost as if sheโ€™s starting to enjoy it. You can feel your child kick on your testicles. Clearly itโ€™s excited too. Suddenly, your cock starts to shake like a V-2 again, you pull it out of her mouth just in time. You bust your steaming hot and sticky load, blanketing her like an incendiary carpetbombing of Dresden. Semen stains her mountaintops (all three of them), along with her hair and most of her face. She quietly giggles from the ironic amusement of it all. You giggle too.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:56:37 UTC

Then a look of sharp pain shoot across her face. Sheโ€™s having your baby. You wish you could bear all the pain for her, but all you can do is sit and watch. You look down at her vulva, still oozing with cum from that great fucking you gave her a few hours ago. You can see a head of black hair poking out. You fear that sheโ€™s gonna start screaming again, much to your relief, it seems that sheโ€™s gotten better control of the pain, thanks to you. She begins to softly moan, it seems as if instead of experiencing excruciating agony, sheโ€™s experiencing an orgasm. You canโ€™t help but grin as she keeps pushing. As more of the head becomes visible, her moaning intensifies. Finally a small head emerges from her vagina. You can see a face wrapped in an umbilical cord. A small pair of hands grab the head, she weakly tries to pull the head out. You put your hands around the head and begin to help her pull. Desperately, she goes into the next contraction with all of her energy, and pushed with everything inside of her. She feels everything. She feels shoulders and hips and feet all slide down inside of her and pop out in one long push, with a rush of fluid behind it, and it feels amazing. She throws her head back with a rip-roaring orgasm that penetrates the very heart of her soul.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:56:40 UTC

You look at the newborn now lying on the floor and see that it is a boy. You have a son. Perfect, perfect in every way. He begins to stir and you realize heโ€™s about to cry. After all thatโ€™s happened, you donโ€™t to given away to the Germans from the wails of a newborn. You gently lift him up and place him on Anneโ€™s semen stained mountaintops. The baby quickly finds the breast is soon sucking happily. Semen, blood, amniotic fluid, breastmilk all mix and fill the air with a strange scent that while repulsive, is also extremely arousing. You canโ€™t resist the urge anymore. Your mouth land on top of Anneโ€™s opposite breast, sucking first your own cum, but then her tasty milk. You look into her eyes, sheโ€™s somewhat annoyed, but too exhaust to really care. A gust of wind coming from a hole in the wall blows through, cooling both of your sweat-drenched bodies, but also disturbing the little one. Youโ€™re afraid heโ€™ll start shivering. You look around the dusty attic for something to keep the baby warm. You settle on Anneโ€™s fur winter jacket, having sat unused for the past two years. You know Anne will definitely not be happy that you ruined her favorite coat, but itโ€™s for the best. She hasnโ€™t been able to fit in it for the past nine months anyway. You carefully wrap your little one in the coat and hand him to an exhausted Anne, she continues to quietly feed him. You notice the dead silence for the first time, not even the other occupants of the Annex, mere feet away in the next room, were roused. You feel a sense of relief. Youโ€™re safe, for the moment at least. Eventually you curl up next to her quietly and begin to doze off. Your secret sleeps in winter clothes. Tomorrow, you can find a way to explain the nightโ€™s events to your parents and hope they donโ€™t kill each other. You can somehow find a way to get your little bundle of joy to safety. But tonight, you just rest, your first night as a family.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:56:43 UTC

Oh god, just thinking about this is making me rock hard. The hardest Iโ€™ve ever gotten. Oh, I think Iโ€™m gonnaโ€ฆ Iโ€™m gonna-

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:56:45 UTC

Cums in Diary

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:56:55 UTC

Steve Rogers didnโ€™t realize he was in the wrong place at the wrong time until he rounded the corner to find the Hulk standing there in the next room, buck naked and rock hard. The Hulk locked his eyes on him and a grin spread across his face. โ€œHulkโ€ฆFuck.โ€ He growled deeply before lunging forward to grab him as a green blur, lifting him off his feet in the process. The momentum continued and carried them to the couch in the next room, which collapsed under the force of impact. โ€œBruceโ€ฆ.s-stop.โ€ Steve grunted as he tried to push the massive green hand off his chest. It was futile. โ€œHulk FUCK.โ€ He roared again as he tore off Steveโ€™s clothes like it were tissue paper and with one thrust rammed his massive drooling python up the Avengerโ€™s ass with a lusty growl. Steve yelled out as the mighty brute began pounding away but despite the pain, every thrust hit his prostate, making his own cock grow rock hard. โ€œGahhhhh fuck.โ€ He moaned as the pleasure began to build as the powerful rhythmic slaps of the Hulks massive green nuts against his ass filled the room. Hulk growled and snarled like a beast for god knows how long until a deep and guttural growl filled his throat. โ€œHulk,,, CUMโ€ He roared as his heavy swinging nuts pulled up and he bred The other Heroโ€™s hole. The first few shots were fired directly into his guts but the next few thrusts flooded his ass and the added pressure sent Steve over the edge, sending streams of cum up across his chest and face. Steve saw stars as the pleasure washed over him and gasped for air as the Hulkโ€™s massive frame slumped over him. Slowly, he shrank; his green skin turning pink once again as The Hulkโ€™s lust was sated for now and Bruce Banner emerged. His cock going soft and uncorking a flood of cum out onto the shattered couch.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:56:59 UTC

Iโ€™ve found truth and life in my wonkily queer body. I exist in my wonderful trans-ness. My neo-pussy isn't a cis vagina. No, to me it is far more elegant and multifarious than any simple copy or simulation. It is a work of art, a vaginal-sculpture created from the parts of a penis and balls that are useful and dynamic enough to contain a second life. The scars that run along either side of my labia are my medals of honor. They hold the proud truth that I had the courage to seek wholeness.

My neo-vagina is a feminist work, and reaching that understanding was my own quieter, queerer tipping point. It feels womanly to understand, accept, and embrace that my neo-vagina isn't actually a vagina. I adore her now for all that she is and not how much she may appear to be the โ€œreal thing.โ€ Perhaps now we could work towards getting advice and care for our vaginas as they truly are. Safe sex advice for trans folk is so woefully inadequate it would almost be laughable if it weren't for the astonishing rates of HIV within the trans femme population. Currently, we sit globally as the most high-risk group for HIV transmissionโ€”a fact not lost on me, as I have been HIV positive for over 25 years.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:57:02 UTC

For the past couple of years, Outer Heaven has allowed me to find a place for myself in a growing community of queer trans and gender fluid people. These are people who do not want to extinguish their trans-ness or queerness in a cis-normative hashtagโ€”these are folks exploring the innate power of our difference, our โ€œotherness.โ€ None of the people who I've recently spoken with want to please or โ€œpass,โ€ but they want and deserve safety, be that in work, on the street, or between the sheets.

I think everyone knows by now that the easiest way to get a huntsman spider to stop coming in your house is to flip it over and suck its dick.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:57:08 UTC

Hear me out.

Carry a spatula around and when you see one, flip it onto its back. They're surprisingly docile once they're in that position. Then, all you need to do is gently press on its abdomen to retract its penis. It will be small; approximately the size of a thin pencil eraser. Use the tip of your tongue to manipulate it to full erection, then suck with your lips until it ejaculates; usually 30-45 minutes later. If you don't feel the rush of semen, you will know by its legs scratching playfully at your face when it gets oversensitive afterwards.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:57:12 UTC

The main trick is not to swallow the spider semen. Trust me, I know it will be tempting. But no, pick up the spider and let him outside, then drool its ejaculate material near the entrances to your house. Spiders are highly promiscuous, and its semen mixed with your saliva will signal him to move on to another house. Spiders do NOT like to get their dick sucked by the same person twice.

pops out of a box of cinnabons- Hello, I'm Bawx! ^ u^ I'm almost 16 my height is 6'1 I'm chubby and I'm looking for a mate that I can cuddle, give roses, hug, and kiss will you do the same in return to me? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ I wish for a closed relationship and for my mate to be as loyal like me. I will be super loyal if I like you enough i'll try to do everything and anything to make you happy and I will never roleplay with others and always put you ahead of everything heh. ^ 3^ I really love role play, romantic gestures, video games, and lil fluffy furries like me so it would be amazing if you liked this as well. :3 No matter the distance and how others talk about you about you if you are the match for me I will love you. :3 If you wanna learn more about me just send me a friend request and ask me questions through messages. :3 I surely hope i find a good mate! Recently I haven't had much good luck. .~. -hugs you softly- Well, buh bai -gives you a heart shaped cinnabon that has red frosting- >~<

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:57:16 UTC

Jesus' eyes widened an imperceptible amount as he took in the sight of Noah, naked, before him.

Fumbling for something witty, he said, "So the ark's not the only bit of wood my father gave you."

Noah grinned โ€“ his grey eyes flashing in lust. "Your father isn't the only one who gives me wood."

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:57:21 UTC

Jesus laughed. "I can see that." He reached for the hem of his tunic and began to tug it roughly over his head, revealing his chiselled torso, a gift from his dad. Noah watched, hungrily, as he slipped out of the rest of his clothes, leaving them in a son-of-godly heap on the floor.

Jesus stopped when he was in his underwear, a little embarrassed. He was the son of the creator of the entire universe, and he couldn't get some decent boxer-briefs. Noah's eyebrows shot up in acknowledgement of his Spiderman-patterned crotch.

"A Christmas giftโ€ฆ" he trailed off, hoping that was explanation enough.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:57:24 UTC

"Hey, no, it's okay," Noah smiled, his eyes creasing in amusement, "I can't say mine are any better." He reached for his own pair โ€“ inside out, on the dresser โ€“ and flipped them around so that Jesus could more plainly see the leopard print transfer.

"I like them," Jesus cocked an eyebrow, considering how fitting it was that Noah should wear animal-printed boxers. "Do you have two pairs of those as well?"

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:57:27 UTC

Noah just smiled, tossing the underwear aside, and began to saunter forward lazily, completely aware of the effect the sight of his own throbbing member was having on Jesus, whose prominent, holy erection was now shamelessly calling to him from within the red and blue briefs.
Backing onto the cheap motel bed (nobody picked l'Hรดtel de la Genรจse for it's luxury accommodation โ€“ there were strip clubs in downtown Nazareth with higher standards), Jesus let Noah remove his underwear with his teeth, letting out a fervent moan at the pressure of Noah's removal against his own quivering shaft.

Jesus' eyes rolled back in his skull as Noah, as a reaction to his previous utterance, began to pursue the motion, small sounds of pleasure emanating from the back of his throat.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:57:31 UTC

"The beard," Jesus moaned quietly, "it ticklesโ€ฆ"

He heard a soft laugh in reply, as the older man crept forward, the two moving backwards together on the bed, until Jesus' head was inches from the shabby fabric headboard. Noah began with gentle caresses, pressing his lips to Jesus' washboard abs, slowly working his way down.

Jesus cried out in passion as Noah's lips reached his substantial manhood, and began to fellate; he was a master with his tongue, caressing expertly with a sensitive, yet dangerous, touch. To Jesus' intense shame, it did not last very long at all.

But Noah had other plans. The two began to kiss passionately, locked in a fiery embrace on the dirty sheets; Jesus did things with his tongue that Noah had never felt before โ€“ his phallus quivered with the intensity of it all.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:57:36 UTC

Jesus pulled back, lust aflame in his eyes. He leaned in to Noah's ear and whispered, in honeyed tones, a final commandment.

"Thou shalt bend over."
Noah complied, and Jesus โ€“ the evidence of his passion completely recovered from his earlier emission โ€“ lowered his hips until they hovered, thighs tense with anticipation, behind Noah's smooth, toned backside.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:57:40 UTC

Like a wild, untameable beast tensed to spring, Jesus licked his swollen lips before thrusting forward with savage desire. He smiled at Noah's sharp intake of breath as he adjusted to the sheer size of Jesus' love-sword.

"Yes!" Noah cried out in passion, "Jesus Christ!"

"I'm right here, baby," Jesus grunted, "rightโ€ฆhereโ€ฆ"

For a while the only sounds that filled the room were the steady, rhythmic creak of bedsprings; the soft male panting and moaning from both men; and the gentle, intimate slap of skin on skin. Jesus' face was contorted with concentration and erotic pleasure, until โ€“ finally โ€“ he erupted in Noah's anal cavity, letting loose an orgasmic cry.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:57:44 UTC

The two lay back on the sheets, breathing heavily, wrapped loosely in each other's arms.

"Father," Jesus panted, "forโ€ฆforgive him."
Noah laughed breathlessly, and the two lay there together, on the edge of consciousness, listening to the music of the night, wafting in through the high window. The dรฉcor of the room hinted at what may have once been a slight sense of grandeur โ€“ the curtain printed with a pattern of wine glasses and fish.

A loud shout from the distant night penetrated the otherwise silent atmosphere.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:57:48 UTC

"I think that's the sound of somebody being mugged," Jesus murmured, his brow creasing with tension. "Well, that means there are miracles to perform โ€“ I'd betterโ€ฆ"

He trailed off as he looked down and took in the sigh of Noah, who had lapsed into unconsciousness, his lips parted with a slight smile. Disentangling himself from Noah's arms and rising gently from the bed, Jesus pulled the stained sheet up and covered his lover's body, leaning over to plant one last kiss on his forehead.

The son of God straightened up, and reached for his Spiderman boxer-briefs.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:57:52 UTC

As he gazed down at Noah's sleeping form, Jesus smiled triumphantly to himself, and whispered fervently into the night. "I will come again."

It's novello time, and it's about religion, so unless you're ready to deal with some views you may not agree with, switch off now. In the words of Illidan "You are not prepared".

Let's get this out here right now. I'm a 23 year old law graduate with an IQ of 155. My political beliefs are liberal and leftist, I listen to Metal and I enjoy violent movies, books and videogames, and I've been a Christian since birth. Baptised, confirmed of my own free will, son of a priest (who are pretty notorious for rebelling against their father's religious beliefs just for the sake of it). I'm part of the Anglican Church of England, which is pretty much the result of Henry the 8th getting pissed off with the catholics not allowing him to divorce his wife(s). We're the state religion of the UK, if you could even say the UK has one, we're pretty liberal about most things, women priests, gay priests, homosexuals in general, sex before marriage, contraception, we take the modern, reasonable way of looking at all of them. At the end of the day, the Bible taught us about forgiveness and being excellent to one another. It had a bit of a round-about way of doing it but what do you expect for a 2000 year old book written entirely by clerical males? It's gonna be a bit out of date, you've gotta read it in context.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:57:57 UTC

I have no problems with anyone's beliefs. Be whatever you want, as long as you believe (or don't believe) for a good reason. But here's what I really don't like, trend-atheism/trend-theism (also referred to as e-atheism, since it seems to be most prevelant in the domain of anonymous blogspammers and Digg-users).

In my late teens, I spent a long time thinking. Yeah, just sitting around and thinking, thinking about faith. Thinking about what it is that I believe in. Rationalizing the various conflicts and contradictions that faith presents us with, looking at the viewpoints of other faiths, or those with no faith at all, taking into account the new things we discover every day and factoring in the influence of science. Some people would claim that, if I had indeed done that, I'd have come to the conclusion, as an intellectual, rational thinker, that God does not exist. They would of course, be wrong.

My beliefs center around several factors. Firstly, it is important for us as human-beings to realize our own limits, and the limits of our understanding. Centuries ago we believed the world was flat. "The Bible told us so!", would be the first cry. Wrong, it really didn't. In the Old Testament, Job 26:7 explains that the earth is suspended in space, the obvious comparison being with the spherical sun and moon. The Old Testament, you remember that one? The one with the fiery bushes, the pillar's of salt, the cool plagues and such? Even that managed to get it right. There's a few more references as well to the 'round' earth (and before you say anything, flat is not a shape, it could have been a flat octagon for all they knew) but I'm not going to go into that yet. We've had computers for less than a century, powered flight for just over a century and of course our amazing horseless carriages. Genetics, electricity, nuclear-bombs, toaster-strudel, the world is in the palm of our hands! And it didn't take us too long did it?

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:58:00 UTC

Reality-check, we're still primitives. In the great scheme of things this technology is a mere blip on the historical radar. We've got an awful long way to go before we're able to dissect and understand the mysteries of the universe. We haven't even put a man on Mars yet, let alone left our solar system to find out what exactly is out there. How can it be that we have suddenly, so recently, become so arrogant as to believe we know more than we really do? The Laws of Science are written by man, based on our understanding of how things work. They are theories that, while prove true today, may be debunked by another amazing discovery tomorrow. Which leads onto my next point.

Name this quote "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic". Arthur C Clarke, physicist and author, smart fellow. It also hilights the point I'm making. Our understanding of the universe is peerless only amongst ourselves. We are not as smart as we think we are. Just as fire wowed the neanderthals, what would it take to wow us? What would make our jaws drop and our minds boggle? Well, any sufficiently advanced technology of course. And what is technology after-all? Man-made machines. The concept of technology is a human concept, a concept that may, in other parts of the universe, not even exist, replaced by something even more advanced than that, so advanced that we cannot comprehend it. Not surprising really as we mammals only use 10% of our brains.

So where am I going with this? Simple really, take yourself off of your high-horse, you, and the human race, is not as smart as it thinks it is. Now, open your mind a little, and let's explore some possibilities.

The definition of a God. Let us turn to the good book.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:58:06 UTC

Wikipedia.

"God most commonly refers to the deity worshipped by followers of monotheistic and monolatrist religions, whom they believe to be the creator and ruler of the universe. Theologians have ascribed a variety of attributes to the various conceptions of God. The most common among these include omniscience, omnipotence, omnipresence, perfect goodness, divine simplicity, and eternal and necessary existence. God has also been conceived as being incorporeal, a personal being, the source of all moral obligation, and the "greatest conceivable existent"

Hmm, a tall order one might think. Could such a being exist? Some argue that logically, he could not, however, there is very little logic in denying the possibility that a being or beings of such power and advancement exist that they could indeed, be considered 'God' within our definition. That's not to say that God is a small green alien with a flying saucer and a phaser though that would give some of the overzealous fundamentalists something to sweat over, much to our amusement. But what is this God? A creator? Sure, we create. We create technology, we're getting to the stage of being able to create life in one form or another, using the basic building blocks of nature. Could it not be surmised therefore that it is entirely within the realms of possibility that someone or something created those building blocks? Like a programmer creates a new program, someone must have also created the coding language in which he created it. We scramble for answers. We come up with theories. Some believe in the beginning there was nothing, which exploded. Some believe a man in the sky created it everything in 6 days and then mooched around on the 7th. Which is valid?

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:58:09 UTC

Neither, and both. They attempt to apply meaning to something where meaning may, or may not exist. Creationism and the Big Bang are in that sense, as bad as each other. They are both merely attempts for us to explain the unexplainable. The Big Bang contradicts our laws of physics (something most catalyse an explosion, therefore something must have been there in the first place, where did that come from, at which point your brain melts). The Creation Story contradicts our laws of physics (Same reasons, who created God after all?). Everything we've so far managed to come up with, from the sublime to the ridiculous, the complex to the simplistic, it's an exercise in desperate straw-clutching. At the end of the day, we don't know jack.

And that's ok. Someone once said that the journey matters more than the destination, it's not the winning, it's the taking part, at least ya tried sport. These explanations of where it all comes from, be they ancient or modern all boil down to the same need. To know. Who'd have thunk it, we've got brains for a reason, and they rather like being used. Those neurons like to be fired, the little grey matter likes a little exercise every once in a while. Just as the Creation Story was a way to explain an unexplainable concept, so is the Big Bang theory. If one were to compare the human mind to a computer, try feeding the Big Bang theory to the medieval man, and it's like trying to shove Bioshock into a Commodore Vic20. Good luck. And what will our children's children's children's grandchildren's children think of our Big Bang theory? My money's on exactly the same thing.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:58:12 UTC

So what am I trying to tell you, stop asking questions, stop looking for answers and just believe whatever the hell suits ya? Absolutely not. Believe whatever suits you, but question it, never stop thinking, never stop asking or learning. In this day and age it seems people are way too willing to believe, or not believe. Belief, or non-belief should be a life-long arduous process and it should end involuntarily, when you fall over dead. Someone (there's a lot of talkative someone's aren't there?) once said 'Never stop believing', I say, "Never stop asking yourself what you believe, and why".

It's time to criticize, so let me load port and starboard cannon and fire a volley at both atheists and theists alike. Believing, or not believing, does not make you intelligent. Smart people do not come to a conclusion on the basis of insubstantial evidence. Smart people do not mindlessly attack other people's beliefs just because they don't conform to their own. Smart people do not assume that their own rigid, poorly formed definitions of logic and faith, reason and belief are mutually exclusive and that if one exists, the other cannot. Smart people think outside the box, not pick fights with those poor souls trapped in it.

What makes you intelligent, is knowing why you believe what you believe. Knowing that you are but one mind, and knowing that at any time you could be proven wrong, only for that person to be proven wrong ad infinitum as we as a race advance.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:58:15 UTC

I suppose you're waiting for my personal beliefs, waiting for this to be some kind of sermon, preaching why my God is better than your God, or non-God. You'll be waiting a long time, because it's not coming. My personal beliefs are just that, personal, they're mine, they belong to me. You cannot take them away from me, only I can. What I can give you though, are my opinions.

Right now shots are being fired. They're not physical shots, they're bullets and shells of ignorance and bigottry. And it's no one-sided battle let me tell you that much. Factionalized camps everywhere you can imagine. Atheists, Theists, Satanists, Christians, Republicans, Democrats, Capitalists, Communists, every group you can imagine, all shouting 'Your God/Non-God sucks, mine is better!'. These days, the internet's become their battleground. So much for sharing knowledge, we're sharing ignorance.

The bigottry and the condemnation has to stop. The sad thing is, I'm having to condemn the condemners. Isn't it lowsy how you generally have to be a hypocrite in order to make a point these days? Food for thought. We can look at the extremes and see the simplistic, secular vs sacred, trend-atheists vs fundamentalist evangelical christians, the most common stereotypes. But in reality, it's so much more complicated than that. It's this stereotyping and narrow-minded attitude that prevents us as a race from achieving the greatness we can. I could make as many decrees as I wanted till I was blue in the face, and I'm going to just to let off a little steam mind you,

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:58:22 UTC

"Trend-atheist Digg users, shove your agendas where the sun don't shine, refusing the possibility of a supreme-being does not make you a genius or a radical thinker, it makes you a bloody sheep hiding behind a cloak of anonymity"

"Evangelical Fundamentalist morons, get your overly simplistic, judgmental, dogmatic Crayola God out of my face, you have about as much understanding of the universe as a wet lettuce. That does not make you holy, pure, or guaranteed a private booth at the big game in the sky, it makes you a bloody sheep hiding behind a cloak of propaganda that you only believe because you're told to"

Wow, that feels good, I can understand why you internet-bound condemners like it so much. Gives you that warm, fuzzy feeling doesn't it? What, I'm not allowed to indulge in such a guilty pleasure every once in a while? Play fair Wink

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:58:28 UTC

Where's my conclusion? Hell if I know. Did you have the mistaken impression this was some carefully constructed plea for tolerance? Absolutely not, it's an angry slap in the face to my peers. Wake the hell up and use your brain, because my God/Non-god/Explosion/Man-in-the-sky/Vic20 gave you it for a reason.

I have consistently gotten interrupted masturbating today and Iโ€™m fucking sick of it. This anger might just be coming from my testosterone idk but god damn do I hate being interrupted. I do not ask for alone time, I could care less if people are around me most of the time. But when I want to masturbate, leave me alone. I get asked the DUMBEST questions whenever Iโ€™m wanking it.

โ€œWhereโ€™s the remote?โ€ WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I HAVE IT IN THE BATHROOM

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:58:32 UTC

And the few times Iโ€™ve talked to them about this (yeah itโ€™s that bad) I get hounded for masturbating. Literally I get that my family is religious but goddamn it, every kid masturbates. Hell, a lot of adults do it too. Why should I feel guilty for doing it? Nah, fuck that, imma do it.

Currently locking the door and turning my fan on and putting headphones in; Iโ€™m gonna get my nut goddamn it.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:58:39 UTC

Is anyone else happy with the new direction that BGS has been going in? They've been stripping away a lot of the old outdated RPG elements (especially since Skyrim and Fallout 4) allowing for more exciting action, which is what we really play the games for. I know some of you are still stuck in the past and want RPGs like Morrowind or even Oblivion but honestly if you want a story or muh immerrsuns you can read a book, that's not why we play Bethesda games... Really, Fallout 76 is the step in the right direction and I'm really glad that Todd Howard has embraced this new path for their studios since now they won't get stuck in the past and fade into obscurity as they keep trying to sell RPGs and story simulators. I honestly really hope the next Elder Scrolls is something more like Overwatch or Team Fortress with maps taking place all around Skyrim.

Hey guys I'm not gay, I play football. I accidentally clicked this group because I thought my mouse was hovered over the hot girls server. Well, since I'm here I had a question let's say hypothetically I had gay thoughts (lol yea right) and I found my close friend attractive (ew gross) and one day we had sex in the back of my car after football practice (I would puke...the only thing I bang is chicks with big tits you know what I'm saying lol) but we didn't kiss. Would that be gay? We were wasted and while we were banging we kept calling each other fags. It's almost like a parody of when we bang chicks (remember this didn't happen). So that wouldn't make me gay right? Just a jokester?

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:58:39 UTC

SO BANE - AND THAT'S THE BLOODY THING ABOUT BANE - HE REPRESENTS CHAOS, IN FACT, HE'S AN AGENT OF CHAOS, AND IN CONTRAST, WE HAVE CIA, WHO REPRESENTS ORDER. BUT CIA, IN HIS BITTER RESENTMENT, IN HIS-HIS POSTMODERN CULTURAL MARXIST IDEOLOGY, HE TRIES TO TAME THE CHAOS - AND THAT'S A BAD IDEA MAN, IT'S LIKE-IT'S LIKE IF YOU TRIED TAMING FIRE, IT'S JUST GOING TO LEAVE YOU BURNT. BUT CIA, HE TRIES ANYWAY, MOTIVATED BY A LUST FOR POWER - AND IT'S LIKE - GOD IT'S SO SAD - IT'S LIKE YOU'RE NOT A BIG GUY! YOU'RE NOT A BIG GUY, AND NO POSTMODERN RATIONALIZATION WILL CHANGE THAT. THE EVIDENCE IS CLEAR. THE SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE IS EXPLICIT ON THIS MATTER. AND SPEAKING OF TAMING FIRE - WHAT HAPPENS BY THE END OF CIA'S 'EXPERIMENT'? THE FIRE IS NOT TAMED, QUITE THE OPPOSITE, IT'S ACTUALLY RISING. AND THIS DEMONSTRATES EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED IN THE 20TH CENTURY. THE BLOODY MARXISTS ATTEMPTED TO QUELL FIRE, BUT IN DOING SO THEY MERELY FUELED IT.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:58:43 UTC

Sometimes I look at my bookshelf filled with Mein Kampf, Austrian economics, and esoteric fascist literature and I wonder if you've brainwashed me.

I look at my meticulously organized kike and nigger memes that I could never show anyone and I wonder how I've gotten to this place.

I was only curious. I just wanted to know what David Duke said that made people so angry. I only wanted to know who Cantwell was and his side of the story. I only wanted to know why Hitler didn't like Jews.

Now I know. It's so easy to discover if you actually want to, yet I'm an extreamly small minority. I can't be the only reasonable, curious, and logical person? The majority can't really be so stupid?

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:58:46 UTC

Sometimes I feel like you all have bamboozled me, but deep down I know you're right... I used to be depressed and sad, and now I'm angry and happy. So thanks I guess.

*pops out of a box of cinnabons* Hello, I'm Double Negative! ^ u^ *But you can call me Neggy~* I'm almost 24 my height is 6'1 I'm chubby and I'm looking for a mate that I can cuddle, give roses, hug, and kiss will you do the same in return to me? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ I wish for a closed relationship and for my mate to be as loyal like me. I will be super loyal if I like you enough i'll try to do everything and anything to make you happy and I will never roleplay with others and always put you ahead of everything heh. ^ 3^ *glompfs* I really love role play, romantic gestures, video games, and lil fluffy furries like me so it would be amazing if you liked this as well. :3 No matter the distance and how others talk about you about you if you are the match for me I will love you. :3 If you wanna learn more about me just send me a friend request and ask me questions through messages. :3 I surely hope i find a good mate! Recently I haven't had much good luck. .~. *hugs you softly* Well, buh bai *gives you a heart shaped cinnabon that has red frosting* >~<

Impressive.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:58:49 UTC

With this most recent achievement, fate has, in a single stroke, marked the decline of the west and spelled a new era of wondrous prosperity and peaceful global dominance for the Chinese dragon, which promises to firmly stand in sharp contrast to the historically bloody ascent of western powers and the cruel subjugation it brought to the humbler nations of the world. The blessings of Chinese plasma stealth technology, undetectable hypersonic combat vehicles, quantum direct-current electricity, neutrino submarine detectors, gamma titanium mono crystal turbines, quantum aircraft carriers, unmanned autonomous A.I. tanks, near-space ballistic air-to-air missiles, +2km range airburst rifles, and quantum enhanced railguns will be the instruments with which China affirms its noble stewardship of 21st century world politics and offers the non-western world a different option; an humanist alternative to the depredations of Western leadership and the opportunity for a more equitable and dignified multilateralism.

Shut up you ugly disgusting fucking nigger, the white man is talking.

Did you in any greasy crevice of your simian brain think that you could fly your hairy black knuckles over your crumb covered keyboard and make that post without whitey noticing? Did you really think you had the intelligence to imitate human behavior? You can't even look or talk like a human, let alone be one.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:58:52 UTC

You're lucky we're here in pussified modern days, because just 50 years ago your black ass would bw hanging by your tail in the center of town while hooded men jumped with glee as we watched your dark soul flee to the safety of hell, where the devil would hurt you less than the klansman did.

Crawl back into the tree you originated from you outdated farming machine, leave civilized society alone. Forget kangz, you haven't even mastered tribesmanship. While whitey was running around conquering the world and creating technology that you would think magic, (landing on the moon, discovering the new world, toilet paper) you were jumping around like a gazelle until the aryan lion came and whipped you into shape.

And how do you repay us? By ruining our nation by voting and spreading your disgusting "culture" and diseases to good decent white folk. You are by definition a net loss you charcoal colored corpse of a race.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:58:56 UTC

Show your black ass around this forum again and the moderators (who are also in the KKK) will hang, draw, and quarter you Tyrone. Mark my damn words.

And if the world ever has an apocalypse, I will kill all of you fuckers. Fear will be plentiful, death will be bountiful. I will spare none of you peasants Fuck your religion, your pastor fucked kids. And got sent to a prison in PC. I seen the devil, heโ€™s in you and me. You need saving to listen to this, see. Follow 'em home, cut the right corner so nobody sees you. Turn off your phone. Leave it at home so nobody can trace you. Mask your expressions.Appear to be calm, they won't read your intentions. As soon as youโ€™re in. Let them all know who theyโ€™re all in the presence of. I am a murderer. I am a demon, the son of a serpent. What is your faith? What is your worth? Have you felt acknowledgment? If I kill you now, will you go to heaven or hell you believe in? Death is approaching you 30 seconds think before lying in blood, see.

I never stated I masturbate/jerk off/spank the monkey/funny cum to lolicon pornography. I only defended it as a legitimate alternative to actual, real life cp as no real human kids get assaulted or abused in the production of lolicon. Actual paedophiles have confessed that although nothing can change their natural born sexuality, at least lolicon can subdue their urges to seek out real cp. I am not a paedophile and will not condone the actions of rapists, but I will defend lolicon because its funny but also that it is an important medium in our current societal climate.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:59:00 UTC

I learned about incels a while ago and never really cared about them. I made fun of them before, I even trolled the old incels subreddit before being banned in a couple of minutes. Anyways, I guess I never really came back to their subreddit until after the Toronto attack.

After browsing the new incels subreddit for weeks and never commenting, I learned stuff about them. How not all of them were as bad as I thought. I decided to make a post there. I'm still a virgin and I'm definitely not ready to lose my virginity and not to an incel I met online. And when they read my post, they responded with stuff I've been hearing. Calling me a roastie, calling me a femoid, dehumanizing me. And strangely I loved it.

I became obsessed with incels. I'll admit I've masturbated to the thought of an incel calling me these names. I like being a roastie. I want to be a toy for these incels. I want to be a femoid for use.

Double Negative
2018-09-16 11:59:03 UTC

I made another post several weeks later talking about my degradation fetish, how incels and their terminology got dragged into it. And after messaging a few incels, I sent a picture of myself to verify.

He called me a tr*nny. He called me a gay man and said that no real femoid would message him. He told me to send him pictures of my "roastie cunt" or he wouldn't believe me.

I've had lots of chats with incels but honestly, he turned me on the most. The way he verbally abused me, told me how useless I am and how all femoids should serve men. I feel bad about it. I know kink shaming isn't allowed here, but I hate my kink. I hate men like him but I love the way he made me feel.

I told him I would send a picture only if he promised not to share it. He told me I wasn't entitled to privacy. He told me he wished he could dox me (I didn't show my face in the pic) to show everyone how much of a degenerate depraved slut I was. I later found out he was messaging people my pics.

344 total messages. Viewing 250 per page.
Page 1/2 | Next